Still figuring things out
 

Hello everyone. This is my first post. A little background on me and why I am here.

I am 24 years old. My 25th birthday will be next month. Since I was 18 I drank "socially" but drank a lot. Nothing you wouldn't expect from an 18 year old. I had friends who were 21 so it was easily accessible and a near daily activity. Still I don't think this is out of the norm for a teenager who is just getting experience with alcohol. I'll skip all the boring details...

After my 21st birthday up until about a year ago, it was a daily routine to have a few beers or glasses of wine each night after work. Nothing to excessive not really causing me to pass out. I went out and got drunk with friends and actually blacked out once in a while. I did not have (at least dont think I had) a problem. Then May of last year I starting developing Gastrointestinal problems as a result of my excessive drinking and was told that there was signs of fatty tissue on my liver. I absolutely denied that it was a result of drinking (and still kind of do) but more than likely that is what it was. I actually did quit drinking to get better. From about May to September I completely abstained and I don't even remember it being that hard to quit. Then September happened, I moved out alone in a party city and here I am now.

I have drank every day for the past year. I got a nice buzz on but have noticed that just a nice buzz is about 6-8 beers, which for most people is "drunk." Then most recently I started sleepwalking and urinating in areas that are not meant to be urinated on, having sleep disturbances (thrashing & screaming), and just in general really crappy sleep. I would hate the person that I was drunk... OVERLY social.. i.e. walking down to a neighbors party (that I don't know) when I was home alone to see if they would invite me in. And recently every time I would drink "socially" I would black out and wake up in a panic of what happened.

I think I want to be sober, though I really do feel like I'm still trying to figure the extent of my problem out. I have challenged myself in the past to just not drink during the week but fail every time. Honestly I am not sure that I will even make it this week. Theres a bottle downstairs in the fridge of wine and I can taste it, I want it so bad. That's actually why I signed up here; to take my mind off of it. I know that I can really go have just ONE glass and be fine but I think that if I'm ever going to drink again, I need to lay off for a significant amount of time to build up a reasonable tolerance. I have not drank since Saturday night and am now having a hard time. I'm sure that I'll get thru but just want a support system.

Typing this helped :) Sorry I'm a very wordy person!

welcome blls2x

Sounds like alcohol is causing you a few problems - I think you're wise to consider quitting.

You'll find a lot of support here :)

I always found that bottles of wine in the fridge were a focus of obsession for me tho...

why not get rid of it...dump it or give it away? :)

D

Welcome and you came to the right place. Like Dee said, why not get rid of it and just stay sober for one month and then make up your mind. Also remember to clue in your doc and get to the ER if you have any serious withdrawal issues. Have you spoken honestly to your doc yet?

Hello! Welcome to SR. Glad you posted. I'm not sure if alcohol and you are doing well together. It is a very good idea to give yourself a break for awhile. If I can do it, so can you!
Please keep posting. Check out the threads and stories. You might find similarities.

Thanks so far for the replies. I hadn't even thought about getting rid of the bottle of wine! I guess why I haven't is because in the back of my mind I was planning on drinking it - that's what I'm used to, but since I want to cool it and stay sober at least for a while for now, I guess that's the best thing to do. As far as consulting a doc about this problem, I have not. I've only had mild withdrawal symptoms after my latest binge... the sweating, shakiness, confusion, nausea, etc. I feel fine now minus the cravings every once in a while.

I promised myself that I wouldn't drink this week and I intend on keeping that promise. Then I'll work on next week..