Finally found bottom.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Finally found bottom.....
Yep, I am convinced that this past weekend was my bottom. I had been only going a day or two at a time, Pms overtook my emotions, and I wasn't strong enough. I had a complete emotional breakdown with a girlfriend this weekend. We cried and hugged and I thanked her for being there for me. I have been depressed all weekend, and instead of facing it, I drank it away. Or at least that's what I thought I was doing. I'm still quite upset ans embarrassed with myself. I am going to a meeting tomorrow at lunch time. I have gone back and re read my postings, and instead of being happy with my decision, I am upset that I still sound like a broken record. I am trying to pick myself up, but I am having trouble! I'm not drinking, I don't want to drink, ever again!!!!!! Good night sr, thanks for reading and please don't beat me up, I have done enough of that myself! Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 23
I am sorry you had to experience the feeling of relapse. I hope no one on here would beat you up for that, because honestly it's a horrible feeling that we probably all have felt.
And most of us are our own worst enemies, we don't need help on that regard!
And most of us are our own worst enemies, we don't need help on that regard!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
PMS and all that jazz is less severe over your sober time, just to let you know. I've had it bad since I was young, but I was also drinking over it since I was about 16.
Stay strong! It's amazing, but alleve works when one is sober! ((who knew this??!!))
Start again and be vigilant once a month!!!!!!
Love & hugs,
Stay strong! It's amazing, but alleve works when one is sober! ((who knew this??!!))
Start again and be vigilant once a month!!!!!!
Love & hugs,
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya for wanting to go to a meeting!1 iffen ya want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps, steps that will help and arent illegal.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
I am sorry you relapsed and are going through this. Most of us have experienced the same feelings you are having....I know I did. I deal with depression too - and you really need to know that alcohol is a depressant....it makes it worse! Once you have been sober for awhile you will really see a big difference.
I am proud of you for getting right back on here and talking about it. I admire your honesty. The fact that you did that tells me there is a strong chance your next attempt will be the successful one. Take care.
I am proud of you for getting right back on here and talking about it. I admire your honesty. The fact that you did that tells me there is a strong chance your next attempt will be the successful one. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
Broken record? I'm in the same boat. I feel embarrassed when I have to post, "day 1...AGAIN". But I have to make myself accountable. As of right now, I'm on day 2. Keep your head up, I am. A lot of support on here...as of yesterday, I was taking 1 minute at a time, and spent most of those on here. Hang in there Chard, you can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Chardonnay...Read some of my posts...I have seen day 1 countless times....
I refuse to give up on my self..Am at the point where I know I need to do something more concrete and take positive action..
Stay on the board...Why not join the September group and post there every day...
Jim
I refuse to give up on my self..Am at the point where I know I need to do something more concrete and take positive action..
Stay on the board...Why not join the September group and post there every day...
Jim
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Chard, no beat ups here... Can't tell you how many times I said never again. I'd recommend starting fresh, look back at this relapse and learn from it. For me (while it's still early) it's about a plan, with safety nets, supports etc. this last time has been different for me with distinct actions. I went to IOP, meet with a counselor once a week, and am going to my first aa meeting today at noon... I'm on day 47 and going strong...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 70
Chard, I have been there too, over and over...one thing is I know, without a shadow of a doubt, my life has to change. I feel like a failure, but on the other hand, knowing you are acknowleding this and on the path to a better place is a good feeling. Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Everyone is here to support you Chardonnay - we aren't going to make you feel worse here. You know that's not we're all about 
I'm glad you're going to a meeting.
As has already been said - alcohol is a depressant and makes everything SO much worse. I know that when we're in that 'my life is unbearable' mindset, it's difficult to remember that alcohol makes it unbearable, too, when all we want is to escape. But we can't escape forever. Remember that you are in control of your actions and that no matter what your thoughts are telling you ("alcohol will make the pain go away", etc) - you don't have to listen to them. It's tough at first but it gets easier with sober time and once you are the one "winning" - you are far more powerful than any craving, which doesn't have arms or legs and cannot make you drink. You can do this! Believe in yourself x
I'm glad you're going to a meeting.
As has already been said - alcohol is a depressant and makes everything SO much worse. I know that when we're in that 'my life is unbearable' mindset, it's difficult to remember that alcohol makes it unbearable, too, when all we want is to escape. But we can't escape forever. Remember that you are in control of your actions and that no matter what your thoughts are telling you ("alcohol will make the pain go away", etc) - you don't have to listen to them. It's tough at first but it gets easier with sober time and once you are the one "winning" - you are far more powerful than any craving, which doesn't have arms or legs and cannot make you drink. You can do this! Believe in yourself x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Sorry... Lol I am feeling better about things today. I tried to sleep real well last night, but storms came through and the wind was a whipping. I feel like acknowledging the problem, which I have been doing for sometime now is a huge part of the battle. I am going to. A meeting at noon. I am really close with another girl who is early in her sobriety, we only ever drank together once, so it's not like we have a history of hiding out drinking together. We drink coffee together.... Her family is amazing and so welcoming. I need this girlfriend in my life. The other girl I thought woul be useful to my sobriety is not so.... She's looking for outs all the time too. She texts me how am I doing? And then tells me she's having wine. She is dangerous to my sobriety. I recognize tht. I am supposed to go to a wine tasting this weekend. I am not going but will still pay for my seat on the bus. Is not worth it. I play the tape back and know where it will lead me. Here's an iced vanilla cappuccino to day 2. May you all find the strength to get through te day. As I hope to as well! Thanks again everyone!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey Chard
No one here is going to beat you up. This forum is for people who struggle or have struggled with Alcohol. No judgement here. I get it 100%. I see that you have a plan. Good. Very good. Let us know how the meeting went Chard.
No one here is going to beat you up. This forum is for people who struggle or have struggled with Alcohol. No judgement here. I get it 100%. I see that you have a plan. Good. Very good. Let us know how the meeting went Chard.
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