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Failure

Old 09-04-2012, 06:13 PM
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Failure

I had made it 60 days. Then I got into an argument with my fiance and felt worthless. I took a bunch of sleeping pills and then drank until I was completely blacked out drunk. I'm hurting, wishing I could have been stronger. I know today is a new day. I just wish I didn't even have to go through these feelings. I internalize everything and sometimes the pain is too great to bear. Sometimes I think I drink to punish myself.

I wish I had been stronger. I wish I hadn't failed so miserably.

Today I woke up feeling terrible. It took a long while before I got back to a normal state of being. I def. don't miss waking up like that everyday. I don't know how I did it so long.

Starting over sucks..
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Old 09-04-2012, 06:18 PM
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Starting over is much better than the alternative. I am glad you survived that and hope you don't try it again. No one is worth trying to kill yourself. You are not a failure, you are just a person who has a drinking problem. You aren't alone.

Today can be the start of another 60 days, and then another and another. You have proved you can do it. We'll help in any way we can. Welcome to SR!
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Old 09-04-2012, 06:18 PM
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Try not to beat yourself up, the good thing is you got right back here to SR instead of continuing to drink. Look at it as something to learn from.
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Old 09-04-2012, 06:18 PM
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Success is built on experience and sadly much of that comes from making mistakes. That was a quote I saw somewhere but can't remember who said it. Another quote I heard is that the only time you really fail is if you give up trying.

You're back - you're trying - that's what counts

Welcome to SR JessKim
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Old 09-04-2012, 06:21 PM
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I'm glad that you're safe.

It's good that you're back working on your recovery again. You can find healthy ways to deal with disappointments and upsets in your life. I wonder what changes you made in your life besifdes stopping drinking?
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:08 PM
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"Failure isn't falling down, but staying down." Mary Pickford

I believe you can do it this time. Best wishes.
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