walkingwithgod

I am suffering with all the regret regarding money wasted. I drank very heavy over the last 4 years, and I am only 34. I look at all the money wasted and stupid impulsive items bought. I have a 3 year old and feel so bad about this. I feel like a terrible father and husband. How did you get over this feeling? Regret is one major trigger for me. Have a blessed day all.

Weasel1966

My partner and I have spent on average over 40k a year from 2005 to 2011 and that's all I was able to calculate. Still a lot this year as well. We have 70k left in debt to pay and are making progress.

We used to provide a lot to others to keep them around so we felt better partying.

Have used credit checks to pay dealers rent. We make good money and have nothing to show for it.

The bottom line is with money and with emotions our addiction cost us a lot.

Looking back in this regard is not productive to moving forward.

So in that way please just focus on your kid and you today. That's the only time we have and to give up now to the addiction as well as the past is not good.

Not sure that helps but know you are not alone.

jobei

Yes I know the feeling! If you start saving your drinking money TODAY though, within a short time you'll have a nice bankroll that you can be proud of. That money in the past is GONE, no reason you beat yourself up about it. Money you make today and tomorrow can be saved!

God bless!

NoFireWater

I'm with you on this one. I feel I spent money on my drinking that could have been helping us now in a tough situation. It's over and done with. Like Weasel said, focus on the now. We'll just have to make more in the future to balance it all out right? We'll be able to now that we're not dealing with hangovers and no self confidence due to drinking right?

WantToHeal

I can really identify with this, WWG. It helps me to calculate the amount of money I'm saving by not drinking and drugging, then making plans (some small and some big) for what to do with that money instead.

BTW, the annual number for me is about $8,000-$9,000. That includes alcohol, pot, ice, gas I'm saving by not driving around aimlessly and messed up, etc. Nice chunk of change, huh? You can do it too! Unfortunately we can't take back past actions, but we can correct our mistakes starting now and going forward.

Great post!

SlimSlim

WWG:

To err is human; to forgive, divine.
Alexander Pope

We all make mistakes, what is important is what we do with those mistakes. I try learning from them and moving forward without repeating them.

You recognize that you have wasted money with your drinking. Rather than dwell on a negative emotion and a past that you cannot change, flip it around to a positive. You now recognize that you've made a mistake, so stop repeating the mistake by no longer wasting money on beer.

Engage your mind in this one and estimate how much money you will not squander by spending it on beer and then start saving that money in a separate account. The account will be a very tangible way of doing something positive where you can see the account balance grow. Set a target amount and splurge on something special for the whole family when you reach that goal.

Anna

I don't have regrets dealing with money specifically, but I certainly have regrets about things that I did. Remember that all you can do is to learn and move on. And, don't let the regret drag you down. Forgive yourself.

JohnnyOneDay

Hey man, don't worry 'bout it! "It is what it is". I blew thou$ands on alcohol and dumb $+up!d $h!t too!!! All we can do is control what money we have today, where we save it or spend it. From here on out, money not spent on alcohol is money you CAN spend on yourself, your wife or daughter, her college fund, or whatever you want! Call it OPPORTUNITY.... things can only get better! Take care, hang in there WWG! I want to see you beat this.... it is up to you!

mecanix

At the time i did my drinking and gambling i was in a state of ignorance and denial about it quite easily getting through several thousands a year.

I feel sorry for the guy i was back then, i have patted him on the back and said well you did the best you could considering the knowledge and curcumstances i was in .

Now i've learned and grown into something more than that, so i do different things, Not doing it differently now would be a cause for regret ..

Bestwishes, M

Veggiejojo

We waste money on all sorts of things, I hope you can get past the regret. What your little one needs is a healthy and sober dad to play in park or be there when the stabilisers come from the bike, x

Desert

I totally feel this one hard. I make a six figure salary, and due to wasting money and making poor financial decisions over the last 7 years....have blown around 80K that I should have in savings. Now I just get by month to month as I'm paying for all the stupid things I've done in the past. Should be debt free and saving decently by end of next summer.

But hey, money is replaceable. Time and life are not. Money can be regained. Time can't. So just enjoy every day.

WantToHeal

This!

blueshades

I felt like a bad husband for a long time. I now realize that part of it was the money I was spending on booze. Surveys pretty consistently show that worries about money is one of the biggest stressors for men.

While we can't unmake the choices that got us here, we can strike out new ground with our finances. I'm doing this, and I'm already feeling a lot better about my fiscal situation in just a few short weeks!

Set aside a small amount of money every day or week that represents your former booze allowance. It doesn't have to be the exact amount you spent on alcohol - - part of this exercise is symbolic. Place this money in a jar, envelope, or dedicated bank account. (I've placed my former booze allowance in an older credit union savings account that I don't look at every day.) Repeat. Watch the money grow!

For the longer term, you can read up on personal finance and budgeting. I use a spreadsheet put together by the popular Canadian personal finance guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade. Her web site is chock full of advice on building a budget that you can live with and I highly recommend it:
Gail Vaz-Oxlade|Debt-Free Forever|Money|Book|Budgets & Personal Finances

Her interactive budget worksheet is available as a free Excel download:
http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/assets/..._WebBudget.xls

If you have questions about the spreadsheet or about what we did to build our budget feel free to send me a private message.

I wish you luck!
~b

ACT10Npack

YOu can't change the pass but you can learn from it. If you can stay on track with your life now then paying off debt is not a hard thing to do as long as you don't blow it on useless things.

Now, I'm just going to try to get out of my credit card debt. Medical bills, I will let that go into collections and try to get 10 cent of the dollar from that. Hopefully in a few years I will be debt free and not worry about the money. Trying to focus on work and life in general.

Grace2

Hi W.W.G

Good to see you posting

I would think that all of us here on S.R have wasted lots of money that we can't really afford on booze. I know I have and I could kick myself for it.

But really, money isn't everything and it can't buy you three of the most important things in life. love, health and happiness. We can't change the past, unfortunately, so there's not a lot of point digging it up constantly and dwelling on it. We can, however, change our plans for the future, turn our lives round and live it!

come on WWG, we're all with you here, you're not alone with this battle and at only 34 you have everything going for you.

You CAN do this.

big hugs

Gxx

stairs

Hear hear!!! Let's all move forward and not beat ourselves up too much over the past.

Zee

We could go round and round regretting things we have done so much that we could disappear up our own backsides!

Personally, I have paid alot of money for my liver disease... I can't turn back the clock. It's done... we move forward.

I have a piggy bank now and I have a few coins in it, it feels good x

Admiral

I've blown a lot of money on drugs and alcohol, the sad thing was I almost never finished what I got. I would feel guilty and flush a whole bottle after taking five shots. I flushed so much pot there's probably a forest in the sewers right now.

I don't have any regrets, any time I've had a surplus of money I've spent it on other things besides drugs and alcohol, the money is still gone regardless. The thing is, you can imagine this huge sum of money that you would have if you never drank in the first place, but it's kind of a flawed way of thinking. The money could have gone into going out to eat, a new car, stereo system, computer... anything really. If you lived a perfect life like a machine and saved EVERYTHING then sure there would be a huge surplus in savings, but I find that life doesn't really work that way, things come up, stuff happens, money goes places you never would have anticipated, don't worry about it too much.

katan

There is nothing you can do to change the past - it is over and done. But you can move forward and not make the same decision and mistakes again.

Dee74

some great advice here WWG.

There's nothing we can do about the past - but we definitely can make sure it doesn't repeat itself

Put your energy into today

D