Pondlady

Tomorrow I return to school / work. I've created a "safe" and nurturing environment for my young sobriety for ten weeks. I am worried about emerging from my cocoon, to a job that I enjoy, but is high profile and filled with responsibility. My chest is tight and my thoughts are racing a bit. I have to change my routine I have no choice about that.....but don't want to loose ground with my new healthy life style.

Any thoughts / advice from my SR friends?

doggonecarl

You are vague about the job and your responsibility, perhaps purposely. I don't know. However, I think it is possible to create a safe and nurturing environment at work too.

Prepare for stress. Create a quiet zone, a getaway from the pressure, or block time on your calendar where you can take a deep breath and center yourself.

Don't let the urgencies of others override what is urgent for you. For you, that is your recovery. Make that value number one. Support that over what anybody else tells you is important.

Limit the social aspect if there is any chance that after-work drinking is a risk.

You'll do fine. Good luck.

sissy07

Pondlady,

I don't have any big advice right now, but I totally understand what you mean. Ofcourse you are stressed about such a change! But you know, it is kind of like taking another step forward. We can't stay in our safe cocoons forever, Lord knows I tried. It is great you have ten weeks sobriety!! Just acknowledge that you have to take this next step, and ofcourse you are anxious about it - if you weren't I would wonder why!

Hey, thanks for your nice post to me about losing Kramer. You will be ok, sweetie. Keep us updated. Take care.

RevivingOphelia

I am in the SAME spot (tomorrow is the big day!) except I did drink twice this summer. I am so worried about it...that feeling of wanting a drink either alone or with colleagues after a hard day's work...that relief that comes with it UNTIL the next day.

Maybe we can support each other?

Pondlady

Yes, let's support each other! I'm a pre-school administrator......so no such thing as a quiet zone in my job! LOL. I love the children, families and staff....it's just very hectic and my job has become over run with state mandated paper work, that requires attention to detail. Flexibility is key to my job, I can have a planned " to do " list - that goes out the window in a second is a child becomes sick etc. Our building is also under construction- ugh - and I have to create contingency plans for families to enter and exit safely. I also have an adult daughter living with me who has health problems. She often has two medical appointments per week, downtown, that I drive her to.

My current plan is to put on my gym shoes when I get home each day and take a good long walk - no excuses. That does so many good things for me. I will no longer reach for the wine bottle and goblet when I get home.....not going to happen!

I am capable....just feeling nervous....wish my chest wasn't so tight

forabetterlife

I am also in education, but we went back to school 3 weeks ago. I had always thought that it would be easier not to drink when I was working, because I was busier. Not true. I have spent years rewarding myself with getting through the stress of my job with wine at night. By 2pm each day I find myself looking forward to that glass of wine..again, as a reward. For me, I begin talking myself out of it right then, even before I get home...and like you stated..change your routine!

That being said,today is a holiday and time is just ticking by...I'm very unsettled and usually filling this time also with a few glasses of wine. There is definately an emptiness for alcohol in the beginning, but from what I understand..it does get better

Dee74

I think a little anxiety is normal...and a little 'what if' fear too.

I really think you have a strong recovery Kim - and you have a support group here you can turn to....sounds like you're good at your job too

You hold all the aces really

The only way you can lose ground is if you let yourself

D

Anna

I agree that it's good to have a certain amount of anxiety in this situation because it will keep you aware of how you're doing. You've done a good job so far creating good circumstances for your recovery and I'm sure you will continue to do so. I applaud the walking after work routine because I know that it can help in so many ways.

DisplacedGRITS

that anxiety is pretty normal but it's good that it's made you aware that you need to be on your guard and put a plan into motion for the change. i think the walk is a wonderful idea! have a back up destressor in place as well like a book or maybe a little indoor yoga in case you have a few bad days of weather. i find structuring my time to be important or at least keeping to a basic routine. don't worry. early sobriety is fraught with change and the uncomfortableness that comes with that change. you're growing into your sober life and experiencing those growing pains! as with all growing pains, they will soon lessen and you will become comfortable again in your new skin. you're making great progress. keep up the good work!

jakec

I'm in the same spot.

Tomorrow is the first day of my Junior year of highschool, in a way I'm looking forward to the fresh start, but at the same time I'm nervous because I was put under so much stress last year and thats when my drug use really got bad..

Something needs to be different this year, I just don't know what..

Dee74

I assume your school will have a lot of help and support for stuff like that Jake?
Don't be afraid to use it

D

Pondlady

Thanks for all the kind words and good ideas. I will have some back up plans for bad weather.

jakec, Thank you for sharing your feelings. I have my lunch packed and and am heading to bed early. Hope you have a good first day of school

RevivingOphelia

The bolded part is SO me as well!

Well, first day is here and will be thinking of you, Pondlady, and all of us who had a bit of a break over the summer and have to face the workforce w/o our crutch of alcohol.

I also think I'll join you in that after school walk, Pondlady! I need to switch up my routine. Last year, the clock struck a certain time and my mind went to, "Should I or shouldn't I pick up some wine?"

This is going to be very difficult for me. Even w/o work stress, I drank twice this summer (of course due to other stressors...ha!). I just can't slip back into the nightmare of two to three times a week of heavy drinking (never did want to moderate) and feeling like hell the next day. It's no way to live.

Best to you and all.

RevivingOphelia

I'm with you, Jake. Let's make it a different school year. Stress was huge (professionally always is a bit despite my love for my job) for me last year (personally, still is) and drinking just made it so much worse.

We need to find ways to cope that don't harm/ruin our lives.

Pondlady

Good Morning!
Well first day of school is here! Ophelia and jakec, I'm sure you both started earlier than me....after all I'm in pre-school

We can do this! Feeling overwhelmed in school, especially at high stress times ( ex: beginning of school year, exams etc) is normal.....we just need to make sure we have methods of coping that do not involve alcohol or drugs.

Ophelia, I'm with you on the wine! i am going to remember how ineffective / unproductive, I was after I opened the bottle. Once I started, there was no chance I was going to leave the house / yard, or answer phone class...no way I'd risk being embarrassed. Abandoning my "to do" list as I became tipsy....only to feel regret in the morning and overwhelmed as the list grew? Not feeling fresh and capable in the morning? The feelings of total shame and disappointment in myself? No way! That is not how I choose to feel. I'm never going through those feeling again because of alcohol.

I was on Face Book last night and noticed my friend who was in rehab this summer had changed her profile picture recently. In the new picture she is holding a glass of wine I felt so , so sad......but made me even more determined to not revisit those times.

Have a good ( sober ) day....I'll be checking back later today to hear how all went with the rest of my SR friends

tomsteve

i went to a meeting yesterday and the topic was fear. i am glad fear is no longer about my past, it is about anything beyond right now. something that occured to me is how fear strikes. when something is coming up i know somewhat what the outcome is, i dont have fear, like takin a shower. i'm gonna take a shower in a bit and it doesnt bother me. i know what the outcome will be. i will be clean and feel better after.
then there are the situations like you describe. when it is something i havent done before, my instinct can still be to look at it and predict an outcome that will effect me in a negative way. yeah, i'm still sick.
to combat that, i get some courage. courage doesnt mean the absence of fear. it means i will do the right thing in spite of fear and leave the outcome in Gods hands.

LSC1

Pondlady, RevivingOphelia and forabetter life...I have taught for 20 years and have probably drank too much for most of that time...I have been sober now for 3 weeks..we have 3 weeks left before we go on holidays...I found it hard at work until this last week...dealing with the stress day in day out without wiping it away with alcohol..but feeling chirpier now..not as productive as I am used to being and really tired..hope you guys travel well..keep in touch
Cheers
LSC1

Pondlady

LSC1 - good to hear from you! Well, I'm a bit wiped out today...have to be honest. I put on my gym shoes when I got home and took a walk. Now I'm really feeling wiped out....but good news...no thoughts about wine....maybe too tired! LOL!

The building construction is a total mess and it was almost 90 degrees ( no ac) and high humidity. Various problems cropped up throughout the day. Someone said to me " I bet you are going to have a nice glass of wine when you get home". I said " Nope, I need my wits about me!"

Hope my fellow schoolies ( love that word) had a good day too!

Dee74

Glad you made it through the day Kim

D

LSC1

Glad you had a good day Kim. Good on you for going for the walk. My dog enjoyed her walk too.
I am sure the new work will be good when it is done.
My days seem to be getting a bit easier. I am finding I am getting on better with the kids (I am in high school) and I am just happier. I am not thinking about "needing" that first drink now near knock off time.
But when I get home I still go to the fridge / cupboard out of habit and have to re-direct myself to the kettle
Keep in touch, look after youself
Cheers
Jodie