new here....
 

Hello.

This is the first time I've ever done this or even thought about telling people about my problem but I feel this is a safe place and I can share my problems...

I'm a 24 year old male and I think I have a drink problem..

I have consumed a bottle of white wine a night, sometimes more, for the past 3 years with only 1 or 2 days off a week. What's embarrassing is that the local shopkeepers know me by name and get the bottle ready for it to be scanned at the till before I even ask for it. I recognize this as a problem yet I still do it.

I even hide booze from people and lie about how much I drink so I don't sound like so much of a wino.

I like to drink on my own and fall asleep and I have lost interest in most things which I used to enjoy such as writing, playing guitar and watching movies.

All of these things dont seem as enjoyable unless i have a drink and a cigarette to hand. I keep telling myself 'i'll quit tomorrow' but it never works out as I get an anxious feeling when I come home from work that something is missing. I feel depressed and self conscious all the time and my drinking has inadvertently contributed to a failed relationship and horrible things being said to people I care about. I want to stop but feel like I cant. I'm miserable with the drink and miserable without it.

I know if I stop for long enough I can get over it but the fear of quitting just makes me drink even more. I find myself making excuses to drink such as 'its the weekend' or 'iv'e had a bad day' or 'its a nice day outside'

I just feel pathetic that i've let cigarettes and alcohol dictate my life like this and I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel depressed and worthless

welcome!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome, x

Hi Daniel:

Have you tried to stop drinking before? If so what have you tried?

If alcohol is negatively affecting your life, you may wish to stop for a while and see what life becomes. 30 days might be a good number to try. If you can do that easily, then you might just need to slow down a little with the drinking. For me, I needed to just stop completely. Life is a whole lot more fun now.

Welcome Daniel!
This site is amazing for support with alcohol issues. Personally, I drank over everything. I drank in celebration of a good day, a bad day, a so so day, boredom, relaxation...
I drank and drank and then i drank. I tried to get away on many many occasions. I declared sobriety so many times I was a broken record. I was doing what i did best and that was actively engaging in alcoholism. I am a alcoholic. If i want to live a productive life and have somewhat of a handle on my mental state I had to quit the wine.
It not easy. Its not pleasant. It becomes pleasant to live life without alcohol. No one in this world wants to be a alcoholic. I don't like it but I am not running away from the truth. I am a alcoholic.
I have proven to myself on many occasions that I cant handle drinking. I have also proven to myself that i can live a sober life. A life free from alcohol induced hangovers and a life that i remember. A life that is worth living and giving it my best. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to alcohol. So I quit.
There is a ton of good info on this site. AA, AVRT, SMART recovery. All these methods have worked for people. They can work for you also
Please keep posting. Reaching out is a positive step in the right direction. Keep trying. Don't ever give up. You are worth more.:c031:

Welcome Daniel. Drinking alone is a sure sign there's a problem as well as hiding alcohol. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you. Try and seek help if you can from local agencies or AA. Don't do what I did and continue the cycle for nearly twenty years. You've acknowledged that alcohol is an issue for you so please take that first step in seeking help.

Hi, Daniel.

Welcome to SR. :)

Man, my story sounds a lot like yours—though it took me almost 20 years longer to quit. But no complaints; I am so grateful that I finally decided to take action. It was hard to imagine life without drinking. I was so sick of it, but when I envisioned sobriety, I saw a joyless wasteland. You know what? It turns out to be fantastic—it's so great to be free of the bottle, no longer feeling isolated and trapped, no longer living a lie.

I know it feels horrible right now, but trust me, you are going to be really grateful you did this. Glad you found SR.

((Daniel)) - Welcome to SR!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Welcome to the family! :) Quitting drinking is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I no longer wake up hating myself and feeling like hell. I'm enjoying my life again and am happy with myself.:) I hope you'll seek help, from wherever you can, to beat this thing. It will get worse with time. Quitting is the way to go if you want to reallly live and not just exist from bottle to bottle.

Hello Daniel:

If you are like me, there is no "I think I'll just have 1 glass of wine with dinner". You won't have any or you'll get drunk.

When it came time for me to quit I couldn't do it on my own and I committed to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.....
I think it's working as I haven't had a drink in over 23 yrs nor any medications.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

Welcome Daniel

Welcome :)

I am like the all the other alcoholic , I tried every way to drink like a noraml person.. Didnt happen so I just said f it and drank full time all day every day for 20 years..

Not the road you need to try , your in a great position to enjoy those 20's and 30's. .

I hope you check out AA I owe everything to the people and the program... :)

Keep reading and posting.. :)

We're so happy you joined the family, Daniel!

SR meant the world to me (still does) when I first stumbled in here, scared and alone. So many people who knew exactly how I felt, and they helped me find the courage to change. You can do this, Daniel. We're all behind you.

These are the signs of addiction and the anxiety is early withdrawal /craving, the body screaming for what it wants. I am not 24. Trust me it gets worse.

There is a much better way free of alcohol.

Welcome to SR Daniel :)

I'm sure lots of people will say this but I really could have written your post 6 months ago. Especially that anxious/something missing feeling. I am sure I wouldn't have been able to quit without SR so I am very glad you're here. You may want to check out some recovery stuff too. AVRT was really useful for me. I also went to a local drug and alcohol agency via the NHS. They are working off some CBT type stuff now which I'm finding to be really useful, plus I get a one on one meeting every few weeks which helps keep me accountable and is just really nice and supportive. If you don't know where to look for your local services then your doctor or drinkline (0800 917 8282) should be able to point you in the right direction.

I was terrified of quitting too, and the time I tried it without support my drinking was worse than previously because I was convinced that every day was positively the last time I would ever drink. I did that for years. It really does get better on the other side and there is nothing to be afraid of. Quitting drinking has been the best thing I have ever done and has done wonders for my self esteem. You won't feel so worthless and depressed once you get sober :) x

Some great advice here :)
welcome to SR Daniel :)

D

Welcome Daniel. I am also new here. My name is Nick and I'm a binge drinker. I've completely lost the ability to have just one beer. I am currently on probation due to my drinking. I've finally come to terms that I am an alcoholic. 2 days ago I tested positive for alcohol by my probation officer. It was the last straw. I have to go to his office on Tuesday and beg him not to lock me up in county jail.

I've come here looking for support in my new sober journey. Thank you and good luck to you all

Welcome daniel -

I agree with everyone here and could have written your post, too. A bottle of wine almost every night stole my motivation, too, and changed me into a depressed and anxious person. It's exhausting trying to control it and hide it, and have to pretend we're doing "just fine, thanks."

It's way too hard to quit on our own. Glad you're here - I commend you for reaching out today!:c011:

wow thanks guys this is really overwhelming how much support I have in just one post.

I'd like to explain more of why I drink but feel I don't need to. I'm not too sure where to go from here to be honest, INSTANT'S comments about early withdrawal have really woken me up about having a real problem and the prospect of them getting worse is frightening.

I don't want to spend the rest of my 20's drunk all the time.

My biggest fear is going out with friends I suppose because they are all drinkers, although nowhere near the extent of what I drink! I want to be able to say 'no thanks i dont drink' without the fear of not having fun as such. I hope that makes sense.

I would be forever grateful if someone could point me in the right direction of where I should go from here.

I should also add that I am not a religious person and don't have a faith or anything. I'm not saying that to sound like spiritual advice would be a waste of time, but rather I would like to avoid any help which involves a higher being or something.

Like i said in my first post, I am new to all of this so I've only really heard stories of people finding god and things like that....I'm not disrespecting it, I just don't think that kind of path would be for me

thanks a million for replying guys :) I feel 10 times better already

For me it was an AA meeting...New friends...New life....It's at least worth a try.

Daniel,

I’m not an expert and only on my ninth day of sobriety but I have found AVRT to help, check out the secular forum for more details. If you google it there is a free online crash course.

There is also a 'sticky' in the Alcoholism forum which lists a range of programs and resources. You have to find what clicks for you.

Well done on making this decision now, it shows a lot of foresight and maturity that I think a lot of us (or least me) didn’t have when we were your age. I am now the grand old age of 37 and wish I hadn’t wasted so much time.

We’re all here for you.,

x

There are approaches that don't entail a spiritual program, Daniel. SMART and AVRT are two popular ones around here. Many people have quit simply relying on SR; that's how I started out, then I began to explore AVRT (it turned out I had been intuitively using Addictive Voice Recognition Techniques already).

We have some active discussions of these approaches on the Secular Connections forums. Well, fairly active, lol... Things quiet down a bit on weekends as folks head out and enjoy their newfound freedom. :)

Hopefully your friends are getting to an age where they will start to find other things to do than drink—but this really needs to be all about you and what's good for you. After I got solid in my new lifestyle, it was not a problem for me to be around friends who were drinking. But honestly, it was not a lot of fun, either. I discovered that when people get drunk, they're pretty tedious. Laughing hysterically over things that aren't funny, debating the most trivial things. Shocking, I know. ;) I'd rather watch a movie or read a book. Or better yet, have a conversation with a friend who isn't drinking. :)

DanielPrescott, well met, and welcome to SR. There is a lot of support here for you, and many people who will share with you how they have quit drinking.

Daniel, this is an important statement that you have made here, and I think it deserves a great deal of respect. Make no mistake, there is a lot of help that does not involve higher beings. I can suggest that you look at our Secular Connections forum for alternatives to 12 Step recovery.

You can put fears to rest right now. When I was drinking, I thought I needed booze to have fun, to relax, to be sociable. It wasn't until I stopped drinking that I realized how miserable I was, how tense, how antisocial I had been. It had been really giving me nothing, and had just taken everything instead. A giant con game, and boy was I a sucker.

You really can quit drinking, Daniel, honest. People have been doing it since the first days of wine, and that is over 4000 years. You can be one of them, and it can all start now. Accept that you will no longer drink, that there is nothing that can make you drink, and that all the lies you hear in your head about alcohol come from the voice of your addiction, not from you.

There is so much waiting for you, just make that first step. I wish you the best.

Hi Daniel,

Welcome to SR! No advice, just wanted to commend you for going for sobriety now, instead of waiting until you have wasted years (or decades) like some of us have.

I wish you the very best. Keep us updated on how you are doing!

I pretty much just use this forum and reading addiction memoirs and articles. I've found that once I committed to not drinking, I could draw inspiration from lots of places.

I'm glad you realize that the problem lies in how alcohol is negatively affecting your life, not simply what or how often you drink. If you miss your life, you can get it back. I feel like I was away from myself for a long time, and it feel amazing to have come back.