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-   -   Went out with the gf and it was tempting (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/266940-went-out-gf-tempting.html)

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 01:08 AM

Went out with the gf and it was tempting
 
We went out to this burger joint by our neighborhood that was pretty amazing. But for me that time was also time for a beer with food... It tugged at me for a bit but I stood my ground.

I also found out tomorrow is the night we are going to dinner at an Italian restaurant that we purchased includes: dinner, desert, and a bottle of wine... wth, hahaha its all good. I see it as practice to say NO!

I can't hide under a cave. The world is to beautiful and filled with great food, great people, great parties, and great events. Every time I say no to alcohol when its in front of my face, the more I get stronger at saying no. Yes I am still fresh but running the other way wont help me practice for when the pressure of other people come my way. I have to be able to tell myself no, then no one can penetrate my no barrier. They will try, they will try like hell to break that barrier. I have done it before and I can do it again.

Sober weekend! ... on that note, I noticed many of my pictures/memories involve me with a drink in hand. I am going to change that starting tomorrow. I want pictures of me having a great time without it :c033: :dance: Maybe I will take my female out dancing after.

You know it was a trip, when I went to some bar in Arizona one time, the bar tender did not drink??? Wtf, true story. He takes straw-sips to make sure they taste decent, but he wont drink, I liked and respected him for that. That place gave me the best food and my favorite... former favorite drink; was the most unique concoction I had.

That was a good memory, and drinking was a part of me, but now I want to have great memories without booze. I am on a mission to do that!

Enjoy a sober weekend SR peps.

IndaMiricale 09-01-2012 02:04 AM

I toast you to building sober memories :)

For me after a few months of being sober they started really happening . The old voice would say " oh the wine list take a look " ect... Even on hard nights after getting out of where ever it was and getting home, to waking up then the next day. Feeling wonderful, and proud that I was learning to do things without drinking..

It truly does keep getting better. Enjoy the weekend and be free :)

bjames 09-01-2012 02:15 AM

Good for you! I'm trying to do the exact same thing. Hiding from people and places will just depress me and make me feel like I'm missing more than I actually am by not drinking. Enjoy the weekend!

positivelady67 09-01-2012 02:30 AM

Thank you for your post, I really want to do the same I am fed up with hiding away I am going out with friends next Friday for drinks and then dinner. My drink of choice will be bitter lemon, but I need to do this maybe a test but I know I will ace it. I want to return to the land of the living but sober. Its too tempting to isolate using not drinking as my excuse because it was drinking that was my excuse for isolating before. Life is for living and I want to live. So thank you for sharing your experience it has really help me.

Ally

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 03:05 AM


Originally Posted by bjames (Post 3558241)
Good for you! I'm trying to do the exact same thing. Hiding from people and places will just depress me and make me feel like I'm missing more than I actually am by not drinking. Enjoy the weekend!

Lets be strong with our convictions, lets have fun and party like we never partied before... because we probably have never partied sober hahaha. Have a great time :)

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 03:08 AM


Originally Posted by positivelady67 (Post 3558246)
Thank you for your post, I really want to do the same I am fed up with hiding away I am going out with friends next Friday for drinks and then dinner. My drink of choice will be bitter lemon, but I need to do this maybe a test but I know I will ace it. I want to return to the land of the living but sober. Its too tempting to isolate using not drinking as my excuse because it was drinking that was my excuse for isolating before. Life is for living and I want to live. So thank you for sharing your experience it has really help me.

Ally

I am still new, but I am glad I could help you; one of my favorite things to do when is help people! :) Lets ace our practice runs

LSC1 09-01-2012 03:41 AM

Sports Presentation Nights
 
The invititations are coming out thick and fast this time of the year for my family. They will be tricky to say no to. I never used to drink that much at the functions. But I used to drink as much as I could before I went out to relax and keep on when I got home. I have good friends that don't have drinking problems and don't go out much that are expecting me to go. I will be a month and a bit sober by then. Not sure what to do.

WantToHeal 09-01-2012 04:53 AM

Great job standing your ground, MesoFreak!

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 10:48 AM


Originally Posted by LSC1 (Post 3558288)
The invititations are coming out thick and fast this time of the year for my family. They will be tricky to say no to. I never used to drink that much at the functions. But I used to drink as much as I could before I went out to relax and keep on when I got home. I have good friends that don't have drinking problems and don't go out much that are expecting me to go. I will be a month and a bit sober by then. Not sure what to do.

I am so supposed to grill at my parents tomorrow with a favorite uncle of mine who buys us beers, it will be hard for me also because I don't say no, and not to him. First for everything right?

Thanks WTH!

justhadenough 09-01-2012 10:52 AM

Maybe practice saying no before you go Meso?

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 11:02 AM


Originally Posted by justhadenough (Post 3558665)
Maybe practice saying no before you go Meso?

I already did last night to my urges inside me. I will tonight when I get a bottle of wine (already paid for long ago) and resist my urges. I will Monday when I go grilling; I am not afraid of putting myself out there in these small situations. Its the parties, the nightclubs, outing with friends, that I get worried about, but I still have to go to say no

cindy10 09-01-2012 01:41 PM

Everytime you say no it makes you stronger!!!

KissMyTiara 09-01-2012 01:45 PM


Originally Posted by MesoFreak (Post 3558671)
I already did last night to my urges inside me. I will tonight when I get a bottle of wine (already paid for long ago) and resist my urges. I will Monday when I go grilling; I am not afraid of putting myself out there in these small situations. Its the parties, the nightclubs, outing with friends, that I get worried about, but I still have to go to say no

I would ask if they would swap out the pre paid bottle of wine for a comperable upgrade in your entree, additional appetizer or dessert. Enjoy your meal!

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 03:25 PM


Originally Posted by KissMyTiara (Post 3558810)
I would ask if they would swap out the pre paid bottle of wine for a comperable upgrade in your entree, additional appetizer or dessert. Enjoy your meal!

Sounds like a great idea, worth a shot :)

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 04:07 PM

Alright here I go. Not going to lie I do want some wine, I mean what else are you suppose to drink with Italian food??? But I said no, and no is no brain!! I got this ;)

Dee74 09-01-2012 04:08 PM

Noone needs to hide in a cave Meso - but I look as the early days of recovery like weight training or something...noone goes in and lifts their body weight right off...you work up to it.

My advice, to you and everyone, is to be a bit clever about the invitations you accept...there's some places and events we simply don't need to be in early recovery...

and always have a plan and an escape route for the things you do go too.

I found in the past too much putting your head in the lions mouth can get it bitten clean off....

play it cool - at least for a while...don't overestimate yourself or underestimate the task ahead :)

D

MesoFreak 09-01-2012 11:02 PM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 3558942)
Noone needs to hide in a cave Meso - but I look as the early days of recovery like weight training or something...noone goes in and lifts their body weight right off...you work up to it.

My advice, to you and everyone, is to be a bit clever about the invitations you accept...there's some places and events we simply don't need to be in early recovery...

and always have a plan and an escape route for the things you do go too.

I found in the past too much putting your head in the lions mouth can get it bitten clean off....

play it cool - at least for a while...don't overestimate yourself or underestimate the task ahead :)

D

Very wise words! Your absolutely right about me trying to go hard to fast. I will avoid parties, bars, and night clubs for the time being. But I still want to put myself in enough situations where I can say no and feel comfortable doing so. The more I say no where its not to difficult the easier it will be to say no in hard situations. In my early stages I will find that fine balance of increase those hard situations to the easy ones. Especially because failure is not an option at the early stages for self-respect and confidence issues. If I fail early on, I will beat myself up for failing, and starting over.

Today was even easier than I thought it would be :c014:. I did come back with a bottle of wine from the place, but I wont drink it. I couldn't replace it, and my gf doesn't drink, and I just started not drinking so they said we could take it home.

Had a great time not drinking today. It was hard over dinner. After dinner I had a bit of headache and was feeling claustrophobic; I think maybe because I didn't drink. We went to the observatory for the first time and I enjoyed it! It makes me want to learn more about space, but alas time is against me in learning everything I want to in this world... I guess it doesn't hurt to try :)

sugarbear1 09-02-2012 07:41 AM

give the wine to your uncle..... ;)


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