Approaching the end of Day 2. Wait, what?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 22
Approaching the end of Day 2. Wait, what?
Two days sober. What a weird, weird feeling.
A week ago I was probably literally sweating beer out of every pore in my sleep.
I feel tired and a little queasy, slight headache, but otherwise fine. I think I just need to eat something. This is usually about the time I'm on beer number 4 and the thought of food is out the window. I have to remember to eat when I get home now.
Went to my first AA meeting since October last night (the pamphlet said meeting at 7:30, I walked in to a very quiet room full of people, in the middle of someone's share... evidently the meeting really starts at 7. Embarrassing.). It was good. I met some girls that invited me to go do fun sober things. They're going to call me to go see movies at one of my favorite 2nd run theaters. I used to drink while watching movies in that theater. It will be nice to leave at the end and still remember the plot line.
I'm sitting on my back patio, like I usually do every afternoon, decompressing from the day. Instead of a beer in my hand, I have a cup of tea. There's a glass of water on the table and a crap-ton of juice in the fridge. I've had a few cravings, but nothing that's sent me running for the Librium in my purse. I'm giving it another few days to see if that kicks in.
I feel pretty groggy like I need a good nap, but otherwise I feel good. I feel alert, though. I've missed the clarity that comes with not drinking. I went to the park late last night with a dear friend and got on the swings. It's coming down to the last of the warm summer nights where I live, and there was a wonderful breeze. Stars were out, clouds were glowing. Things I used to notice all the time before I started drinking suddenly became very obvious again. I can't remember the last time I stopped to look at the night sky. Or the last time I appreciated how amazing warm summer breezes feel (and smell!). For all the bad I'd been trying to block out with my drinking, I'd missed out on so much good.
I've set myself up for group therapy in the near future (two or so weeks from now), and will continue AA meetings daily. I'm not scared anymore. I'm really just fed up with what I was doing. Is this going to get harder? Yeah, probably. But I'd rather work hard at making myself better. I've got so many better things to be doing with my life, and I almost let them go.
It'll be nice to go to bed again tonight and fall asleep as opposed to passing out. Someone at the meeting last night said how good it felt "to wake up and not just come-to." Suddenly a lightbulb went off and in my head I was like, "Yeah! YEAH!!!" That. I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning, and not just coming-to. I like it.
Thanks to everyone for sharing on these forums and in the chat rooms. In the past few weeks I've been floating around here gearing up for my inevitable but persistantly delayed quit day, I've learned a lot about myself and my disease. I've finally come to terms with it. I've got my support system in place, so it is no longer a matter of "Can I?" It's a matter of "Will I?" The answer: Yes.
A week ago I was probably literally sweating beer out of every pore in my sleep.
I feel tired and a little queasy, slight headache, but otherwise fine. I think I just need to eat something. This is usually about the time I'm on beer number 4 and the thought of food is out the window. I have to remember to eat when I get home now.
Went to my first AA meeting since October last night (the pamphlet said meeting at 7:30, I walked in to a very quiet room full of people, in the middle of someone's share... evidently the meeting really starts at 7. Embarrassing.). It was good. I met some girls that invited me to go do fun sober things. They're going to call me to go see movies at one of my favorite 2nd run theaters. I used to drink while watching movies in that theater. It will be nice to leave at the end and still remember the plot line.
I'm sitting on my back patio, like I usually do every afternoon, decompressing from the day. Instead of a beer in my hand, I have a cup of tea. There's a glass of water on the table and a crap-ton of juice in the fridge. I've had a few cravings, but nothing that's sent me running for the Librium in my purse. I'm giving it another few days to see if that kicks in.
I feel pretty groggy like I need a good nap, but otherwise I feel good. I feel alert, though. I've missed the clarity that comes with not drinking. I went to the park late last night with a dear friend and got on the swings. It's coming down to the last of the warm summer nights where I live, and there was a wonderful breeze. Stars were out, clouds were glowing. Things I used to notice all the time before I started drinking suddenly became very obvious again. I can't remember the last time I stopped to look at the night sky. Or the last time I appreciated how amazing warm summer breezes feel (and smell!). For all the bad I'd been trying to block out with my drinking, I'd missed out on so much good.
I've set myself up for group therapy in the near future (two or so weeks from now), and will continue AA meetings daily. I'm not scared anymore. I'm really just fed up with what I was doing. Is this going to get harder? Yeah, probably. But I'd rather work hard at making myself better. I've got so many better things to be doing with my life, and I almost let them go.
It'll be nice to go to bed again tonight and fall asleep as opposed to passing out. Someone at the meeting last night said how good it felt "to wake up and not just come-to." Suddenly a lightbulb went off and in my head I was like, "Yeah! YEAH!!!" That. I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning, and not just coming-to. I like it.
Thanks to everyone for sharing on these forums and in the chat rooms. In the past few weeks I've been floating around here gearing up for my inevitable but persistantly delayed quit day, I've learned a lot about myself and my disease. I've finally come to terms with it. I've got my support system in place, so it is no longer a matter of "Can I?" It's a matter of "Will I?" The answer: Yes.
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
The Night Sky
Rosecity
'Stars were out, clouds were glowing. Things I used to notice all the time before I started drinking suddenly became very obvious again. I can't remember the last time I stopped to look at the night '
I had that moment tonight too...it was alovely full moon
'Stars were out, clouds were glowing. Things I used to notice all the time before I started drinking suddenly became very obvious again. I can't remember the last time I stopped to look at the night '
I had that moment tonight too...it was alovely full moon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 22
I went to an awesome women's meeting last night. I've never felt so welcome and so immediately understood in my life. All you have to do is walk into a room and everybody there is ready to help. Got many hugs, and my 24 hour coin. And applause. NOT throwing this one away like I did the last two. This one stays in my pocket at ALL times. I'm thinking I may have someone drill a hole in it so I can wear it on a chain around my neck so I don't lose it.
I heard this several times last night: "And welcome to the new-comers! People don't come into the rooms of AA by accident. Normal people don't find themselves here. Please keep coming back. We know what to do when the party's over!" Said by a woman who started her journey to sobriety at my age: 24-25. She's awesome.
So many people said, "We're so glad you're here!" My response: "I'm so glad to BE here." The weird thing is, I totally meant that.
Gearing up for a mid-day meeting in a bit. Excited to go. Took today off of work because the body said that 13 hours of sleep was absolutely 100% necessary. I feel sooo rested. And, I'm making plans for my day! Time to get my bike fixed finally. After, what, two years of my poor baby sitting in the garage with two flats... poor thing. After I fix her up, I'm going for a ride.
Learning how to live again. Weird, weird, weird. It's becoming so apparent that I'd forgotten how, and didn't even know it.
I heard this several times last night: "And welcome to the new-comers! People don't come into the rooms of AA by accident. Normal people don't find themselves here. Please keep coming back. We know what to do when the party's over!" Said by a woman who started her journey to sobriety at my age: 24-25. She's awesome.
So many people said, "We're so glad you're here!" My response: "I'm so glad to BE here." The weird thing is, I totally meant that.
Gearing up for a mid-day meeting in a bit. Excited to go. Took today off of work because the body said that 13 hours of sleep was absolutely 100% necessary. I feel sooo rested. And, I'm making plans for my day! Time to get my bike fixed finally. After, what, two years of my poor baby sitting in the garage with two flats... poor thing. After I fix her up, I'm going for a ride.
Learning how to live again. Weird, weird, weird. It's becoming so apparent that I'd forgotten how, and didn't even know it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by rosecity2012 
So many people said, "We're so glad you're here!" My response: "I'm so glad to BE here." The weird thing is, I totally meant that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 22
Bike is fixed! I went for a good ride, sat at a new coffee shop and read in the sun. I actually remember where I left off in the book the last time I put it down without having to re-read the last chapter (or two).
I'm cleaning up my back yard today, and loading up the bags upon bags of beer bottles to take to be recycled. I will be so happy to never see those piles of bags in my garage ever again. I'm rather disgusted at it, because this isn't the first time I've cleared them out. A total of 8 garbage bags full of glass, and 4 cases of empty bottles in my car. That's probably only from the last month I drank. I shudder to look at them. And the smell. Oh, my god, the smell. My trunk is going to smell like fermented grossness and vinegar for days. Taking them to get the deposit, then going to go buy some things (flowers for the yard? A new door mat? Febreeze for my trunk???).
Keeping busy makes this easier. No time to think about all the drinking I'm not doing!
I'm cleaning up my back yard today, and loading up the bags upon bags of beer bottles to take to be recycled. I will be so happy to never see those piles of bags in my garage ever again. I'm rather disgusted at it, because this isn't the first time I've cleared them out. A total of 8 garbage bags full of glass, and 4 cases of empty bottles in my car. That's probably only from the last month I drank. I shudder to look at them. And the smell. Oh, my god, the smell. My trunk is going to smell like fermented grossness and vinegar for days. Taking them to get the deposit, then going to go buy some things (flowers for the yard? A new door mat? Febreeze for my trunk???).
Keeping busy makes this easier. No time to think about all the drinking I'm not doing!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
