elihoping

I'm 31. I've spent the past 13+ years caught up in addiction - pills, cocaine, alcohol. I gave up drugs last October and felt that I was making some headway with my problems. But I just replaced it with alcohol. With the help of my counselor, last Tuesday I admitted to her and myself that I'm an alcoholic. This has been the worst week I've had in a long time.

I went to two AA meetings after that. I spent the whole time scared out of my mind at the thought of having to speak at the meetings. The second meeting I went to was at 7.30 am so there were very few people at it and I felt the pressure to speak. All I said was that I'd only just started and didn't want to speak yet but even the pressure of saying that made me cry for the rest of the hour I was there.

I haven't been to a meeting since and I've drank every night since. I just want this to stop. I can't handle it anymore. Every morning I wake up hating myself and vowing not to do it again but every night I start again. Sometimes I wish I had the strength to end it all. I just feel so overwhelmed.

aussieblue

Hi elihoping and welcome to SR there are a lot of good people here with great advice .Glad you found us.

elihoping

Thanks aussieblue. Reading people's stories on here is giving me hope, making me feel less alone.

wellwisher

You aren't alone; I promise.I cried my eyes out while actively drinking and while getting sober. There is no harm or shame in that, and I can assure you, it is only temporary.

I'm glad you are posting here.

I'll betcha you'll hear from a lot of people that they cried too.

It may have been a bad week, but dealing with the alcohol problem is a step in the right direction. For me, where alcohol once served me, it turned on me - big time. For me, crunch time came when I was at a crossroads - I could either go up or I could sink further down.

I know many people who put down one substance and then picked up another. Not uncommon at all.

I'm glad you are going to a therapist - mine helped me so much and I made a lot of progress once I started learning how to win the battle for good.

All my best...

aussieblue

Keep reading elihoping you will see lots of us have been on the roller coaster your on now ,my emotions were all over the place ,its hard but it will be worth your effort.Therapy is a great start.

least

Welcome to the family! I know the cycle you speak of, I was caught in it too. I almost gave up on myself but with the help and support of my counselor and the people here I gave it one more try - and I finally made it. I'm over two years sober and happy to boot.

There are lots of ways to get sober than don't involve speaking at meetings. Ask any of us how we recovered and you'll get all kinds of different methods. Whatever you choose to get sober, put all your effort into it. It is possible but you have to make it possible.

Sasha4

I cried!
I still cry too!

Come here and cry and let us try to help and wipe away the tears xxxx

pegily

there is hope and u can get through this.... ill be praying for u