427

Went and drank some wine Friday night. Also had 2 shots of tequila w/ honey and lemon last night (at home w/ a sore throat and cold). Told a few friends on here, but am "publicly exposing myself" cuz that's what this is about, right? Didn't drink for 2 weeks prior.

So I'm not freaking out about it.... I don't want to go extreme again, but am so confused about where I "fit." My alcoholic friends say I'm probably not "alcoholic," (which certainly doesn't mean I haven't been drinking too much and messing up!).

Not sure what else to say. I do know I'll still be on here and want to curb my previous "style," so... guess it'll prove itself out here at some point, right????

Dee74

Hi 427
welcome back

do yourself a favour - look at your posts here again - I think we covered this 'alcoholic or not' thing before.

What your friends think is immaterial, I'm afraid - if you're a drinker like me you can't dabble in drinking...things will fall apart pretty quickly, and you'll be back at square one...or worse.

D

NoFireWater

Your drinking buddies will always assure you that you're not an alcoholic. They want your company , they want other people around who drink too much to take the focus off themselves, and they are probably in denial that they have a problem too. What do your sober friends say?

bexxed

Heya. Bummer that you're feeling sick.

Regardless of whether or not your friends are boozers, it's not for them to say or define what is going on in your mind, body, heart, or spirit. The only person who can do that is you. Your boozer friends maybe don't want to look at themselves, or don't want to lose a drinking buddy, or maybe they just don't know how to communicate. Anyone in sobriety who said something like that was forgetting that it's not up to us to take inventory one way or another on anyone else.

I had the same experience, by the way. Friends in recovery would say "you can drink normally. I can't do that. You're not an alcoholic." Was I going to say "Nah, I just hide it from you"? Um- no, I wasn't going to say that. Boozer friends will do anything to keep you on the barstool.

Maybe it's where you want to be. Maybe they're right. But I would think that if you are here, it may be worth a little bit more time to check yourself out... rather than let the words of others give your (maybe) alcoholic mind it's coveted "get out of jail free" card.

Salacia

Hey there 427,

I think that you're definitely right to not freak out about what happened. The more upset you are, the more guilt you'll have, the more anxious you'll become, AND then the resignation will settle right back into your thought process. Avoid the comfortable self loathing.

Yeah, so you drank. Yeah, bummer for steady sobriety. But, that doesn't mean you can't go back to being a non-drinker immediately, ya know? Remember how good and clean you felt during the past couple of weeks and remember why you quit drinking in the first place. If you approach your drinking through a cost/benefit analysis framework, I'm sure you'll come to your own truth regarding drinking.

You know something that helps me? A worry stone - a rock that is slim and smooth. I held a stone in my hand while I came to my own truth about my drinking, and I still keep it in my pocket. The subtle weight of the stone reminds me of my new lifestyle.

Any way, take care and keep us posted.

MemphisBlues

For this alcoholic, the proof of my problem is that I would drink a couple of shots of tequila even though I knew I had a problem.

The cure for my alcoholism was always drinking, until I started doing the inside work to find a lasting cure.

Scolova

I was reassured by my 'buddies' all the time that I was never;
dealing with any sort of depression, an Alcoholic, a dope head, gonna lose my job (multiple times)... etc.
I had some good times hanging out with 'em MANY years back, but when it came down to it, They just wanted another person to sponge off of.

427

Thanks. Yeah, the folks who were saying they doubted aren't "boozers" and have been in recovery for some time..., but regardless, I DO know that I don't want to "go back." And Salacia, thank you for your support re not beating myself up. I did it, I admitted it, and I'm movin on. Actually, am getting bored w/ drinking.

Anyway, I'm still here and don't plan on leaving, so hang in w/ me if ya will. The ride has only just begun....

And my own saying: "It's not the sh*t ya fall into; it's how ya get out."

Not done yet

IndaMiricale

Thats it , you not ever done until your last breath..