Soberyear

Im sober almost a year now, still going through an ugly divorce and custody. Has ripped the family apart. Ive tried to forgive, when I do I get hit back with more ugliness from him. I'll never have a life until I can let go of all this guilt and anger. Help

Dee74

Hi and welcome Soberyear
I moved your thread here for more response

I've never been through a divorce myself, but I think a divorce is hard to get over, for anyone - particularly if it's a bitter one.

Do you have any support in your life - friends, family, a recovery group or a counsellor or therapists?

I know you'll find a lot of support and experience here

D

choublak

Forgiving someone else is more about you being at peace with yourself than what the other person does.

tomsteve

welp, lets start with what the guilt is about. can ya fill us in on that?

soberbrooke

I decided that it isn't worth the fight. I left my addicted boyfriend, father of our two boys, on Jun 1st. I have 8 months of sobriety. We were together for almost 15 years.
In counseling, he agreed to pay 1000 a month for child support and to move out of my home. He hasn't done either of these things. Am I going to get a lawyer and fight him over it? No. I could take him to court and get 25% of his paycheck, but I am not doing that either.
I have just been praying and giving my relationship with him to my Higher Power, and so far it has worked. I have been happy and content. I have missed my boys, but I know that they will do the right thing one day. It hasn't been easy though!! I have to post on here, I have to call my sponsor and I need my meetings!! I go on ups and downs, right now I am up; but tomorrow I may be down. At my lowest points are when I really have to step back and look at the problem and realize I can't solve it, so I put it in my God Box and just walk away. I have to. It is what has been keeping me sane through this whole ordeal.
Good luck, and I feel for you. I would continually give it all to God. He solves problems better than we can all the time.

Soberyear

Thank you Brooke, you're so brave and so many times I've thought about doing that. Especially with my older boys. I too have the good days bad days. I go to counseling and meetings too, not a lot of friends anymore since they all drink. I'm somewhat if a recluse. And no, I'm not at peace with myself so I guess until that happens there will be no forgiveness. My DUIs get thrown in my face constantly, my family defines me by them. Forget about all the years I was sober running the house. I am full of resentment.

Sapling

Welcome Soberyear...Have you worked the 12 steps with a sponsor?...That is the suggested program of recovery in AA....It may be a suggestion but it's the only one they have. Meetings are great....I love em...The steps are what keep me safe, sane and sober....Not to mention happy!

Soberyear

No I haven't and I need to. I've just been attending the meetings

Sapling

It's pretty amazing the changes that happen working the steps...Clearing the wreckage of your past....Getting right with your Higher Power...There are a lot of promises in that book....Working those steps fearlessly and thoroughly...Those promises will come true.