Wanting a Change
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Idaho
Posts: 58
Hi Butterfly,
I've been addicted to pain pills off and on (mostly on) for 20 years. I have over a 100 days clean this time around.
What I know is that you can do this. Time is your best friend. Just don't use no matter what cuz if you do, it'll set the clock right back to the beginning. Keep going and don't look back. It will never be easier than right now. I know. I'm 58 years old and I never thought I'd be dealing with this stuff at this stage of my life.
Also...it's crucial that you find some kind of support. Lots of choices. Find what works for you.
Best of luck to you.
I've been addicted to pain pills off and on (mostly on) for 20 years. I have over a 100 days clean this time around.
What I know is that you can do this. Time is your best friend. Just don't use no matter what cuz if you do, it'll set the clock right back to the beginning. Keep going and don't look back. It will never be easier than right now. I know. I'm 58 years old and I never thought I'd be dealing with this stuff at this stage of my life.
Also...it's crucial that you find some kind of support. Lots of choices. Find what works for you.
Best of luck to you.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Butterfly, congratulations to you and your husband for making the right choice. It's one of those things that could only get harder to do the longer you wait to do it. Now is most definitely the best time.
SR has a whole bunch of different forums, and has one specifically for substance (other than alcohol) abuse, and you will find it here.
I know someone who used 1800 mg oxycodone every day for months, maybe longer. She is sober and straight today and says that if she could do it, anyone can kick. There is a big beautiful world waiting for you. Best to you.
SR has a whole bunch of different forums, and has one specifically for substance (other than alcohol) abuse, and you will find it here.
I know someone who used 1800 mg oxycodone every day for months, maybe longer. She is sober and straight today and says that if she could do it, anyone can kick. There is a big beautiful world waiting for you. Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 48
DAY 4!
Whew! Hubby and I are into day 4 ...
I feel a little better today...my first thought when I woke up was "where are they?!?!"
That disappointed me.
Still shakey, still getting massive chills. Still weepy as hell. I can't seem to tame that nagging little voice telling me they are just a phone call away....but... No headache this morning
Thank God for the little things huh?
Hubby is worn out physically(he always took more mg than me because he is twice my size)
But I am so proud of him ... hes staying strong for our family.
Today I am going to visit my daughter at college and go to lunch(NCSU - go wolfpack!)
(I also have 2 boys in high school)
I figured a distraction will help me get through Day 4.
sooo...wish me luck.....
Whew! Hubby and I are into day 4 ...
I feel a little better today...my first thought when I woke up was "where are they?!?!"
That disappointed me.
Still shakey, still getting massive chills. Still weepy as hell. I can't seem to tame that nagging little voice telling me they are just a phone call away....but... No headache this morning
Thank God for the little things huh?Hubby is worn out physically(he always took more mg than me because he is twice my size)
But I am so proud of him ... hes staying strong for our family.
Today I am going to visit my daughter at college and go to lunch(NCSU - go wolfpack!)
(I also have 2 boys in high school)
I figured a distraction will help me get through Day 4.
sooo...wish me luck.....
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
I'm wishing you luck butterfly, You are doing really, really well. No going back now. Think of the money you'll be saving!! Put it away each day and put it towards a treat for you and your man.
I'm on day 10 now, different addiction but I bet the pain is the same. I actually think I look better today, my skin looks better, less blotchy and my eyes don't look red rimmed and puffy.
we can do this
big hugs
Gxxx
I'm on day 10 now, different addiction but I bet the pain is the same. I actually think I look better today, my skin looks better, less blotchy and my eyes don't look red rimmed and puffy.
we can do this
big hugs
Gxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 48
I did it! I did it!
I must sound like a 5 yr old that just learned to tie her shoe. *heavy sigh*
After sweating through 2 outfits before I left ....actually leaving (which caused a full blown panic attack)...driving through traffic... I finally got there.
I ate a complete meal (which is more than I have eaten at one time in 4 years)
I pushed through. Pushed through the panic. Pushed through the anxiety that makes my thoughts race.
Ya know what? Maybe I CAN do this !!
I am exausted ... every muscle in my body is screaming ... but I actually feel something! Wait!
I think its "pride" .... hey! I remember you pride! ... you used to be my friend.
Your evil brother "ashamed" took over my life for way tooo long.
I WANT IT BACK!
I must sound like a 5 yr old that just learned to tie her shoe. *heavy sigh*
After sweating through 2 outfits before I left ....actually leaving (which caused a full blown panic attack)...driving through traffic... I finally got there.
I ate a complete meal (which is more than I have eaten at one time in 4 years)
I pushed through. Pushed through the panic. Pushed through the anxiety that makes my thoughts race.
Ya know what? Maybe I CAN do this !!
I am exausted ... every muscle in my body is screaming ... but I actually feel something! Wait!
I think its "pride" .... hey! I remember you pride! ... you used to be my friend.
Your evil brother "ashamed" took over my life for way tooo long.
I WANT IT BACK!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
I am SO happy for you and yep, I remember that feeling of "*****o!" and pride.
The waves of that came in between the sweating and panic and exhaustion.
Seriously be proud of you! It's total hell to kick those pills.
Keep on 'a keepin' on. :-)
The waves of that came in between the sweating and panic and exhaustion.
Seriously be proud of you! It's total hell to kick those pills.
Keep on 'a keepin' on. :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Idaho
Posts: 58
Keep moving forward, Butterfly and remember...you never have to go through this again! You made it past the 72 hour mark so things should continue to get better as long as you don't use.
I'll be cheering you on.
I'll be cheering you on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 48
Thank you everyone
I have been meaning to write that. Your words are helping sooo so much. I don't know why ...but to hear words of encouragement ...even from total strangers,
somebody who is going or has gone through the same thing is incredible inspiration.
I am tired. Very, very tired.
The beautiful thing about being tired ... I know I am fighting this evil thing and winning ... my husband said "if we weren't winning, we wouldn't be tired because the fight would be over"
Then he gave me a hug. A real hug. We have been married 20 years.
I remember those hugs.
What a haze I have been living in.
The cramps haven't stopped ... but now I know.
When I get one. I have to punch back.
Because the fight isn't over.
But damn it ... we'll win!
I have been meaning to write that. Your words are helping sooo so much. I don't know why ...but to hear words of encouragement ...even from total strangers,
somebody who is going or has gone through the same thing is incredible inspiration.
I am tired. Very, very tired.
The beautiful thing about being tired ... I know I am fighting this evil thing and winning ... my husband said "if we weren't winning, we wouldn't be tired because the fight would be over"
Then he gave me a hug. A real hug. We have been married 20 years.
I remember those hugs.
What a haze I have been living in.
The cramps haven't stopped ... but now I know.
When I get one. I have to punch back.
Because the fight isn't over.
But damn it ... we'll win!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Butterfly, me and H have been married nearly 22 years and drank for all of them except the past 3 months. I can tell you it's like we're seeing each other as we did when we first met.
Everything is so much better, new and real. Like that hug you got. Everything is like that.
Push through this horrible time. You can do it. Life just gets better and better xx
Everything is so much better, new and real. Like that hug you got. Everything is like that.
Push through this horrible time. You can do it. Life just gets better and better xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 48
Sapling ... And all the others ...
Thank you ....
Thank you ....
just for the few seconds it took to reply.
Maybe ... just maybe we will all get through this.
And I promise to "pay it forward"
Day 5 ...look out! I am gonna beat your butt all the way to Day 6 !!!
Thank you ....
Thank you ....
just for the few seconds it took to reply.
Maybe ... just maybe we will all get through this.
And I promise to "pay it forward"
Day 5 ...look out! I am gonna beat your butt all the way to Day 6 !!!
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