Hello
Marathon runner (PB: 4.44h)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Aberystwyth, Wales, UK
Posts: 18
Hello
Hi everyone.
My story: I was addicted to tobacco and also was psychologically dependent of alcohol. For many years I've struggled to get rid of both these two pests, until some two years ago when, after many attempts, I finally quit everything and started to live as a free man. I took up running and have already completed a marathon, and love trail running and exercising in general, which is a fine activity to do here, in Wales, UK.
The thing is, despite the fact that I've been a non-smoker since I quit, those two years haven't passed without me relapsing with the booze on a couple of occasions at least, and it has happened always, invariably, whenever I return here, after the holidays, visiting my family in Spain. It's like a huge void forming inside me, one of sadness and loneliness (I'm single and live on my own, by the way) and it looks as if the only way to soothe that feeling is protecting myself under the shell of oblivion and coziness that used to be drinking. These days I'm just seeing the light out of that tunnel, again, after failing to keep my sobriety. But loneliness is a big issue for me, and don't quite understand why, after all the harm this relationship with alcohol has done to my life, I seem to make the same mistake over and over.
I'm starting to get fed up with so much rationalizing the causes of my dependence to alcohol, and the reasons of my failure to understand that booze is not different to tobacco. Maybe you could help me there?
Well, I guess that's everything I wanted to say, but also that it makes me feel much better to know that there's a community dedicated to support each other in these respects.
Many thanks
My story: I was addicted to tobacco and also was psychologically dependent of alcohol. For many years I've struggled to get rid of both these two pests, until some two years ago when, after many attempts, I finally quit everything and started to live as a free man. I took up running and have already completed a marathon, and love trail running and exercising in general, which is a fine activity to do here, in Wales, UK.
The thing is, despite the fact that I've been a non-smoker since I quit, those two years haven't passed without me relapsing with the booze on a couple of occasions at least, and it has happened always, invariably, whenever I return here, after the holidays, visiting my family in Spain. It's like a huge void forming inside me, one of sadness and loneliness (I'm single and live on my own, by the way) and it looks as if the only way to soothe that feeling is protecting myself under the shell of oblivion and coziness that used to be drinking. These days I'm just seeing the light out of that tunnel, again, after failing to keep my sobriety. But loneliness is a big issue for me, and don't quite understand why, after all the harm this relationship with alcohol has done to my life, I seem to make the same mistake over and over.
I'm starting to get fed up with so much rationalizing the causes of my dependence to alcohol, and the reasons of my failure to understand that booze is not different to tobacco. Maybe you could help me there?
Well, I guess that's everything I wanted to say, but also that it makes me feel much better to know that there's a community dedicated to support each other in these respects.
Many thanks
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Tute
Welcome
I drank for loneliness too - but you don't need to be a genius to work out that something as insular and isolating as drinking is no way to cure loneliness.
I had to do a lot of work on myself - working out why I wasn't comfortable in my own company...I also had to make the effort to get outside my comfort zone and make real connections with other people.
It may seem a little paradoxical, but that's the two pronged way to tackle loneliness I think
I'm sure others here will have more ideas - good to have you join us
D
Welcome
I drank for loneliness too - but you don't need to be a genius to work out that something as insular and isolating as drinking is no way to cure loneliness.
I had to do a lot of work on myself - working out why I wasn't comfortable in my own company...I also had to make the effort to get outside my comfort zone and make real connections with other people.
It may seem a little paradoxical, but that's the two pronged way to tackle loneliness I think
I'm sure others here will have more ideas - good to have you join us
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
What Dee said
Welcome to SR Tute x
I think I had a similar approach to drinking, a bit of an 'it's all I have' approach...
It doesn't have to be that way, you just need to find some better coping strategies. Support from other people going through the same thing has been the life saver for me. Glad you're here x
Welcome to SR Tute x
I think I had a similar approach to drinking, a bit of an 'it's all I have' approach...
It doesn't have to be that way, you just need to find some better coping strategies. Support from other people going through the same thing has been the life saver for me. Glad you're here x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
I'm relatively new to all of this, 96 days today, but I'm realizing I need to pay attention to triggers that can lead to drinking thoughts. My family just spent the week visiting and left two days ago. And ever since they left I've been struggling with thoughts about drinking. I'm no lonelier than I was before they came to visit. But their coming to visit, or me being free of them when they leave, seems to be a serious trigger. I think you may have something similar going on.
Marathon runner (PB: 4.44h)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Aberystwyth, Wales, UK
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Uninvited 
I think you may have something similar going on.
Marathon runner (PB: 4.44h)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Aberystwyth, Wales, UK
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by flutter
Welcome! This recovery stuff is hard work.. I hope you talk to a doctor about how you're feeling, there may be some other issues to work on here besides the liquor.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Loniless is a bitch. I learned that alcohol made it worse (can't go anywhere drunk), but since I have been sober over ayear, I am still lonely, of my own making. My problem is despression, and since I have had little social interaction I feel like I don't even know how to talk to people (except you guys). Maybe depression is the problem? You may want to check that out. Best wishes and take care. P.S. I can't even make myself go to AA - I am afraid I will say the wrong thing.
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