"Social" drinking
 

Last night I went to a party at a friend's house. There were a lot of people there I didn't know, and I ended up drinking a lot. I often do that to alleviate social anxiety. Today I felt horrible, hungover and depressed. I ended up wasting the whole day doing nothing.

Tonight I was supposed to go to a going away party for a friend. I knew I would end up drinking a lot again, because this was going to be a big party where I would not know a lot of the people. So, I decided to skip it because I really did not want to drink tonight.

Now I feel bad for missing my friend's party, and depressed that I can't handle social situations like that without drinking. I feel like if I stop drinking I won't have a social life anymore. So much of my social life revolves around alcohol.

I thought the same thing....Two things I found out....I can't drink socially....Not an option....And I also found out I can have a better social life....Better life period...Without alcohol.....And that's a fact....And I'll bet you can too.

There is a social life without alcohol - none of us are hermits :)

I tried living my old drinking life sober and I only ever ended up drunk again or miserable too.

I had to take some time out - work on my recovery, decide who I wanted to be and who sober me was - once I got that down, I was ok to go anywhere and not compromise my principles for anyone. It took some time tho.

I had to make some changes to my life too...

I went out but not to alcohol fuelled events...I had coffee, went for walks, went to movies, got back into hobbies...

and I had to change some of my social circle sure - but I reconnected with a lot of old friends, and made a lot of new ones.

I don't think I lost out on the deal, & I don't think you'll find many here who think they did.

Those few months I spent working on myself were a great investment for me and I recommend it.

There'll always be other parties and things to go too Etta...when you're stronger :)

D

Etta, I've been around drinkers in social situations a few times since I started my efforts but I'm trying to limit that exposure now, as I know I'm not as strong as I want to be just yet. I think Dee has it right about taking some time out of the party scene. He's also right that sitting out some of the parties is not the same as holing yourself up and doing nothing. There are a lot of things we can do while we're figuring it all out. As long as we respect that process we can get through it.

Social and drinking aren,t synonymous. Take a while to think it through. Life will be different when we are sober. We have to work it.

Hey Etta :)

Your post reminds me so much of where I was before I quit drinking. First off, drinking is a really bad treatment for social anxiety. I used to think that but eventually I realised that really that was my number one excuse for drinking. There was nothing about alcohol which made me sociable. I also came to realise that part of my fear of social occasions was a fear that I'd drink too much. Getting rid of alcohol has actually made social occasions more fun for me because I don't that to worry about anymore. In order to feel better though I had to give up drinking completely and avoid social occasions for a bit until I learnt some better coping skills (I tried the whole going out and not drinking thing too, it didn't work). It was kind of time to regroup. I don't think the transition from drunk to sober life has to be seamlessly smooth. It's only fair to give yourself a break to work on yourself x

All i could do was anti-social drinking so i gave it up .

Bestwishes, M

I too wondered what I'd do if I couldn't drink but I found out I can do anything I want and do it better sober.:) Don't give up! :hug: