youngun

Hi all,

This is unfortunately not the first time I've tried sobriety, but hopefully it will be the last. I managed two weeks of not drinking earlier in the year (which is ridiculous) and then completely fell off the wagon and have been going off on benders every weekend. I have been doing this since I was around 17.

Last night was a real wake up call as I took things far too far. I freaked my brother out - apparently I was falling over and completely confused as to where I was and who he was. I don't remember anything as I always blackout for at least a few hours. I had been drinking all day and hadn't eaten. To make things worse I completely disgraced myself in front of my superior who came for a drink with me. She drank about 2/3 drinks whilst I proceeded to get completely bladdered despite my best intentions to keep it to a minimum. My lack of self control with alcohol is shocking and frightening. The regret/remorse/embarrassment today has been unbearable.

Thanks for listening, hopefully the saying 'third time lucky' will prove true...

Hope you're all doing well with your own battles,
Young 'un x

mecanix

Hey Young'un ,
there's a whole armoury of ideas and people here to help, you are not alone . Drinking for me was always a loaded dice game i never won, i used to have blackouts more often than not . I'm an alcoholic and the only sure way of controling my drinking was to remain abstinant and to learn things to cope with the difficult emotions that left me dealing with,

Bestwishes, M

candi7

Hi Youngun! (lol-I call my kids younguns)... If you've had enough-and feel like you are ready-you can do this... forget the shame and all that and go after it... Don't forget to try a program like AA. That's what I'm in and it's saving my life for sure!

JWS

I have on-again, off-again battles myself. That said, I have gone over a month for the first time probably since like 10th grade (I am 35). Trust me, I get the days where I "need" a drink. Not having any alcohol in the house helps. After all, that causes me to have to drive up and back thinking if I really want to do this.

All the other times, I always just wanted to cut back. Still, I inevitably reverted back to an everyday drinker. I have realized that I just need to avoid it. Hang in there! It's hard, but if I can do it I am postive you can as well.

olympia

Hang in there youngun!

Sapling

Maybe it's time for you to try something different....Good luck to you.

Grace2

Hi

Forget yesterday, it's been and gone. It's today that matters and what you do with it. You can change your life round starting now. You have all the support in the world from all on S.R so go for it.

Big hugs

Gxx

CarolD

Welcome back to our recovery community...

I sure hope that was a wake up call...do you have a plan
in mind about how best to keep sober?

Mizzuno

Walking the plank of shame is what I have done on so many occasions while drinking. It's what I do while actively drinking. Maybe that was your last call? We are here for you. Sobriety is a 100% possibility for you.
Please keep posting and reaching out. One foot in front of the other.

youngun

Thanks so much for all of your support, it means the world to me. I don't feel so alone in all of this and it is immensely reassuring. I think I'm going to have to try AA this time round, I'm just scared

debsam

Aren't you scared already? I know I was....my fear of living my life the way I was, became bigger than my fear of change...and that is when I changed.

Give AA a chance

Sapling

Everybody is scared...And always for no reason....These people want the same thing you want...And the ones that have have it...Want you to have it. It saved this hopeless...helpless alcoholics life...After 35 years of daily drinking I havent had a drink in 14 months....By the way....My first meeting.....I was terrified...LOL.

youngun

Congrats Sapling that is an incredible achievement!

You're right, I am completely scared at my life at the moment. I am even more terrified that I have attempted this before and failed so miserably. I suppose this time I have extra motivation though as last night was the worst I have ever got probably. Things can only get better I suppose...

thanks again everyone.

Sapling

I was scared of everything...Fear of failure was high on the list...If you go with an open mind and do what these people do....Be willing to take suggestions...And to admit your way isn't working...It will change your life...I can promise you that. Be sure and stick around and let us know how you are doing...I love to see people make it.

debsam

Last night was the worst...and it does not get better. This doesn't have to happen anymore.

Time to bring in re-inforcements to your life...and that means outside support...combined with SR!

Uninvited

Welcome back!

Dee74

Welcome back youngun

I remember being deathly scared too - make a plan, be determined to make changes in your life, find and use support regularly, and you'll find things get better

You need never go through those kinds of events again

D

candi7

When you go to an AA meeting , you don't have to share unless you want to, but let me tell you, I've been enveloped in love many times, they make it sooo safe to be there.. Funny, I made up my mind I wouldn't share, but when I heard those ladies share my life story, I felt sooo comfortable to speak up... I didn't want to but I cried and I got a lot of hugs-and someone spoke up and said, believe me honey, theirs nothing you can share that shocks us.. it's so cute when a little granny tells her stories and you are like, wow, I did that! I cussed alot in the beginning and no one batted an eye, now I try to watch the language-but for me, but AA truely has been a blessing...

Taking5

For anyone interested, here is a great article on what you expect at your first AA meeting:

Your First AA Meeting

Sapling

That is a good site. I like what they say about fear.