I'm at a happy hour and don't feel very happy.
 

It's for the 50th bday of my sister's boyfriend's co-worker. I am in town visiting (after my grandma's funeral events, before I fly back on Sunday). I'm staying with them and this was their plan for tonight (the funeral wasn't exactly planned of course so neither was my visit) and so I was expected to come along but I thought about saying no thanks and now I kinda wish I would have. I don't see the point of being around drinking people and not drinking. I talked with my sister quite a bit which was nice, but we could have done that at home! I don't see the point of sitting on my butt all night at a bar (except when I'm drinking). I suppose I could try harder to keep making small talk with people I'll never see again but I'm tired and worn out from the long week and I wish I was at home watching a movie. I can't exactly leave them here and go back to their house (in a different city than we are in right now) alone. So I'm trying to grin and bear it and drink my raspberry iced tea but it's hard. I feel like such a bump on a log. :-/

Enjoy the chit chat and just be in the moment!

YOU are SOBER and worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

you can always leave if its too much

Well, at least you have a phone with internet access. To use while there.

I had a similar thing happen when I was only sober a short time. An out of town funeral - and many of my husband's family members who had never met me wanted to get together in the hotel bar. Sort of a mini family reunion. I remember coming here to SR and whining about it, and the responses really helped me get through the night. At one point I planned on having just 'a glass' of wine. As if :)! At the last minute I decided it wasn't worth it.

After you get over this hurdle, just think how good you'll feel. Tomorrow you can smile at yourself in the mirror and say - 'Pigtails, you're really doing this thing." Seriously, I hope it's going ok for you - please report back.

I'm starting to read the book "Unwasted" and she describes a lot of situations where she quits drinking and it is very difficult to be around other people who are. A happy hour would be tough!

Hang in there!

Raspberry iced tea is delicious! What a great choice! It's life affirming, has no after effects except a very pleasant aftertaste.

You might want to go tell the bartender you don't drink, and ask him to make you a "special". If you can, tell him some of your story, enough to make him raise his eyebrows. (Or hers.) You'll likely find plenty of support, they've probably dealt with lots of ornery, abusive, pukey drunks, and they're glad you won't be one of them

If that fails, and you're in trouble, go find a movie theatre. Your sobriety is worth it.

So, Pigtails, why not take care of yourself and go home and watch a movie and relax?

No car except for theirs and at this point it looks like I'm DD.

You don't have to be DD. That's a choice. Get out of there if you have to.

Pigtails, you do have a choice to leave. Take a taxi, go home, if you want to.

Not sure what time it is where you are, but could you order some food? Maybe someone else is hungry, or not drinking, and you could share a meal and have an enjoyable meal. If the evening drags on too long, I'd let someone know you'd like a ride to wherever you're staying....maybe not everyone wants to stay late? Keep in touch!

If you've all been there a respectable period of time, can you ask if you can all leave?

Pigtails, that sounds like a real challenge, and not a fun evening for you. Hopefully they'll be ready to leave soon. Meanwhile, maybe you can just focus on what a good deed you're doing as the DD and tell them you're not feeling well and need to leave. Exhausted from the travel and the funeral and all that...I hate small talk with people I'm never going to see again sober too. Funny how drunk it's one of the things I love...

Thanks everyone. I took Pondlady's suggestion about ordering food. Just my sister, her boyfriend and I meandered over to the outdoor restaurant part, which had a riverside view, and the food we ordered was really good! We had some good conversation too and I felt so much more comfortable and happier. They did not get drunk or at least not drunk like I would have gotten-- I really don't understand how some people can have 5 or 6 beers over the course of a long evening... We would have been downing shots if I'd been drinking! Anyway I am done with all of that and am learning in what situations I'm most and least comfortable. I'm in bed now and it feels great. :) thanks again for all the support.

Sounds like a good read to check out!

Thankful that you made it through, Pigtails. Well played. :)

Pigtails,

Glad you had a river side view...... much better than the view twirling from a bar stool:) Hope you slept well.

Hi Pigtails,

By the way - I love your photo ! so joyful

keep up the great work - we are surrounded by drinkers

Sorry I missed your post! Glad you made out ok. You've really got to take things easy on yourself! This is hard stuff, especially with your grandma's passing.