SlimSlim

hrich:

I went back and read over all your posts.

Based on what you've written, your marriage has been crumbling for a while now and your husband has been less than supportive of you in your attempts to stay sober.

Right now, it is very important for you to stay sober and not pick up a drink, no matter what. If there is any booze in the house, please pour it out.

You need to be sober so that you can think clearly.

You've been able to stay sober for two weeks straight this summer and now is the time to kick this thing into high gear.

I would speak to a lawyer and lay everything out on the table.

Keep posting if it helps.

NoFireWater

It sounds like your husband is at wit's end and handling it badly. He can't force you to stop drinking, only you can do that. If he's truly "done" you need an attorney of your own. Maybe you can contact a battered women's group for some resources-they usually have contacts and people that can help women in a tough situation. Is there someone who can care for your kids for a day or two while you figure out your plan to give you some room to think? Have you tried to get help before?

hrich1122

I need to stay sober. This life I not what I want. At all. I will do this!

I just got my kids into bed. I'm trying to pin point what it is tat I'm so scared of. That he will take my kids from me and leave me on the street? That doesn't seem as likley once I step back. I'm I scared of being alone? Scared of being sober? I can't stress about this anymore. I have no control over his actions and need to remain focused on me.

SlimSlim

BRD

Check yourself into a hospital.

BRD

Maybe tell your husband that you want to go to a hospital for addiction treatment.

Just a thought.

hrich1122

he wouldn't care. He's made that clear

This would be easier if I had a job. Or family here. Or friends.

DisplacedGRITS

fear of sobriety is very normal. you've been living "comfortably" as an alcoholic for 2 years and now suddenly that all has to change. you're being thrust into the unknown. not just sober but the new world of an alcoholic in recovery. it's normal to be afraid of the unknown. part of the reason we're here is to tell you that it's ok. as an alcoholic in recovery, it's a nice place on the other side of the fence. it's terrifying at first and it takes a while to get used to it. it's hard adapting to the new life but the longer you live it, the more used to it you become and the more habitual it is. i refrain from saying "the easier it gets" because i never really like using the word easy in conjunction with recovery but eventually it becomes like a well worn pair of sneakers and sobriety just fits fairly comfortably into your life. the first month is hard work but you've raised kids. you know how to work hard. all you have to do is put the focus you put into rearing your kids into yourself. remember that you are worthy of sobriety, you deserve a good, healthy life and you will take time to care for yourself. a hard thing for many alcoholics to learn at first but necessary.

as far as your husband and the attorney and all that goes right now, take a deep breath. there's a lot of good advice here that you'll have time to act on. your world isn't crumbling. you're here and you have the hope of sobriety on the horizon. just stick with us. work hard, stay sober and you will see positive changes happen in your life. bad things may come to pass as well, but sobriety always, ALWAYS brings about positive, wonderful, beautiful, staggering changes in life.

hrich1122

Thank you! I'm just scared and confused. I hope this will pass sooner than later

tomsteve

is there any chance you have ever read the Big Book od alcoholics anonymous? what ya type about you is in there and theres a good solution,too.

hrich1122

I'm going to look into that book right now! Thank you!

I just called my doctor and left a message for him to call me for an appointment on monday.
Since my husband said he wont help me pay for any form of treatment. I know my doctors office and their behavior health will just bill me.

I need help. I dont want to lose my family over this devil called alcohol. I wish there were something I could say to my husband to make him want to support me and my recovery. I get that hes mad, doesnt trust me or the fact that Im saying I WANT to and WILL get sober. But I need his support. I can't handle feeling like everyone hates me.

Hopefuly talking to my doctor on Monday will bring me clarity and twards my first step.

hector

Everyone doesn't hate you. We don't. We (make that I) understand that you're suffering from a disease called alcoholism.

Good for you calling the doctor! I suggest you also call AA and go to a meeting. I know you're scared, I was too. Clarity is possible. A First Step is part of AA. If you can't go to a meeting, go to Alcoholics Anonymous : . The Big Book tomsteve mentioned can be read online there.

Your husband hasn't kicked you out yet. There's hope. Find more.

Etta

I would definitely see a lawyer. Call a local legal aid office if you cannot afford one. You are going to need one if he files for divorce, and the sooner you start learning about your legal options, the better off you will be. Can you just move his car out the way yourself? Unless you have been drinking, he does not have the right to prevent you from driving or leaving the house.

candi7

Does he have insurance on you, you can still use it, till he removes you and I don't think he can do that till you are divorced... So call the cops and ask them to take you or call an ambulance...

hrich1122

Yes I have insurance. Thats why I called my GP because I know he doesn't ask for anything up front. Then, he gets billed for my services.

I havnt been drinking. And I got ahold of his keys last night to unblock my car.

Department of health and social services website says they offer help for addictions, dealing with the children and can offer legal services. Hopefuly I can get some information from them.

I can set up a free consultation with an attorney as he has but I'm not sure that will be helpful right now. I need to be sure I'm addressing my alcoholism first. Then worry about the rest later. Other wise I'm dealing with a lose lose situation. I dont think he has the ability to kick me out or keep my kids from me. Atleast I hope not.

pauladmits

I'm no expert, so this is just an opinion of course. But try not to fix everything all at once. Proving to your husband that you can change is going to take some time. So try planning for the next 90 days or whatever just to get help and work on your problem with alcohol. Once you solve that beast or at least have it under control, then start working on the relationship. Maybe go live with your parents for a while if that is an option. That's a lot of issues all at once and that would make me way overwhelmed. What helps me is to write out a REALISTIC plan of action. If you can kind of fit the pieces of the puzzle together, know plan A, plan B, plan C, etc... then it kind of puts things in to perspective and doesn't make everything so drastic!

And other than that, you can always come here and you will always find people who care about you! Wish you well!!

silly

I was going to say the same thing. If you have insurance through him, he can't just call them up and say "don't let my wife use this". If you don't have insurance, hopefully your doctor can help you find some county programs.
In the meantime, give AA a try. If you call your local AA office, they can even arrange a ride for you. Problem solved!

Sapling

That's normal...I was terrified....Every day you don't pick up will get better...Just remember don't pick up the first one...That's key. It's not the 10th one that gets us into trouble....It's the first one....Here is the Big Book...Some good reading....I saw myself in this book.

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

Sapling

And see if you can get yourself to a meeting...Being around some people in recovery would be great for you right now...You'll meet some really nice people.

candi7

WOW, too bad he wouldn't be willing to let you go into in house detox/rehab.. you'd be away for 30-60 days. YES i know it's hard with little ones, but in the long run-he may decide that you are working hard. That way you come home alot more manageable and able to go right into AA meetings.. But you do have to do your part and not let them down. I should have went with rehab when I had a chance-kinda wish I had with all the difficulties that has come... but that's just me-(I put my loved ones through hell and back)... And maybe while you are gone he'd join Al anon... but I understand what you said earlier..