Alright Today is the Day It Begins!!
That's why I can't make any promises, because I do not trust myself.
It's possible to not drink - there's hundreds of us here - if you want it? If you're prepared to do what it takes? you can do it to .
I get there's a part of you that wants to drink. Welcome to the club.
Every one of us has felt like that.
Recovery's about wanting to change that - but it's also about doing the things necessary to change that
Trust isn't really an issue.
You'll get out of your recovery exactly what you put into it Paul.
D
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Noone trusts themselves , not in the beginning - but that's no reason not to make promises - especially to yourself.
It's possible to not drink - there's hundreds of us here - if you want it? If you're prepared to do what it takes? you can do it to .
I get there's a part of you that wants to drink. Welcome to the club.
Every one of us has felt like that.
Recovery's about wanting to change that - but it's also about doing the things necessary to change that
Trust isn't really an issue.
You'll get out of your recovery exactly what you put into it Paul.
D
It's possible to not drink - there's hundreds of us here - if you want it? If you're prepared to do what it takes? you can do it to .
I get there's a part of you that wants to drink. Welcome to the club.
Every one of us has felt like that.
Recovery's about wanting to change that - but it's also about doing the things necessary to change that
Trust isn't really an issue.
You'll get out of your recovery exactly what you put into it Paul.
D
And I have really enjoyed my "recovery" so far because I have put a lot in to it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2
I've only been off alcohol for three days and I'm already deriving great joy from little things such as unloading dishwasher, ploughing through paperwork, sorting things that haven't been sorted for a very long time.
I am so glad to read your post and know I'm not alone :-)
I am so glad to read your post and know I'm not alone :-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
It's so hard isn't it. I really really want to stop drinking,manage about 6 weeks then start again. I tell myself I'm obviously not committed enough even though I think I am. But if the same old stuff isn't working then I must need to do something different-not sure what though. I suppose if you tell yourself you aren't going to stop drinking then you won't stop. I tell myself I will stop and even that isn't enough
I don't entirely get this. When it comes to promises, trust is the issue. I do not want to promise that I will never drink again and drink two days or 10 days later. I just do not believe in "promises". I believe in action. I can promise every day that I will never drink a sip of alcohol in my life, but I can also promise that I will probably break that promise. So what is the point? I want to develop a mentality that doesn't want to drink, not forces myself not to drink.
And I have really enjoyed my "recovery" so far because I have put a lot in to it.
And I have really enjoyed my "recovery" so far because I have put a lot in to it.
Don't let yourself be deceived - you can make promises to yourself...and keep them - if you're prepared to do whatever it takes to back them up.
You don't need to wait until some mythical point when you're utterly convinced for sobriety either.
People, like me, lose everything and waste decades that way.
Some die waiting to reach that point.
I believe in action.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
the thing about booze, is that you THINK you can drink normal, but sooner or later you wind up back at the bottom of the pit...because if you are like me....there is NEVER enough wine, beer, vodka and all the experimenting in the world gives you that same old result.
i think going to bars and the whole social thing needs a major overhaul for you. at least for a few months. what's going to happen when the holidays hit you?
i think going to bars and the whole social thing needs a major overhaul for you. at least for a few months. what's going to happen when the holidays hit you?
Paul,
I understand trying to be a person who doesn't WANT to drink, verses, forcing yourself to not drink. Initially I had to force myself to not drink, and now realize I'm evolving into a person who truly doesn't want to drink. I didn't plan this....just how it has worked out.
I understand trying to be a person who doesn't WANT to drink, verses, forcing yourself to not drink. Initially I had to force myself to not drink, and now realize I'm evolving into a person who truly doesn't want to drink. I didn't plan this....just how it has worked out.
Paul, I think that your ambivalence is scary.
The disease of alcoholism loves ambivalence and thrives on ambivalence because it knows that you don't stand a chance when you're ambivalent.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking and live up to your potential.
The disease of alcoholism loves ambivalence and thrives on ambivalence because it knows that you don't stand a chance when you're ambivalent.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking and live up to your potential.
Paul:
I'm not going to suggest you go to any program, but I do want to mention that the program I personally like (SMART Recovery) looks at recovery as a process that has stages. These are:
I see you've been getting some comments here from folks who are nervous about your ambivalence. While I understand that sentiment, I view it more as an indication of where you are in the process of change. I don't think anything is wrong, I think it simply means you're in the Contemplation stage!
If you're interested, there are ways to try to push past this. You might try making a list of pro's and con's about your drinking, and seriously...write down the good things too. See what you come up with.
I'm not going to suggest you go to any program, but I do want to mention that the program I personally like (SMART Recovery) looks at recovery as a process that has stages. These are:
- Precontemplation (Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior that needs to be changed)
- Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of wanting to make a change)
- Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)
- Action/Willpower (Changing behavior)
- Maintenance (Maintaining the behavior change) and
- Relapse (Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes) (OPTIONAL!!!!)
I see you've been getting some comments here from folks who are nervous about your ambivalence. While I understand that sentiment, I view it more as an indication of where you are in the process of change. I don't think anything is wrong, I think it simply means you're in the Contemplation stage!
If you're interested, there are ways to try to push past this. You might try making a list of pro's and con's about your drinking, and seriously...write down the good things too. See what you come up with.
Paul, You will always have times you want to drink. At least for a very long time after stopping, you will. If you are waiting for the day that wanting alcohol stops before you quit, then you will not ever stop. You are addicted. By your own words, you are.
Is some miracle going to appear and stop your desire to drink, just by venting on SR? No, it won't. Have you spent time on SR lately encouraging others on SR? Because if you just vent, you also could get addicted to that, and then you will become upset when you don't recieve the kind of feedback you prefer.
May I suggest you try to spend at least half as much time on SR encouraging others as you do writing here, and see if that helps you crave less? Otherwise you are missing out on the power of SR to help you. Since your rules have restricted all suggestions outside of SR, then I offer that. It is within your guidelines.
Is some miracle going to appear and stop your desire to drink, just by venting on SR? No, it won't. Have you spent time on SR lately encouraging others on SR? Because if you just vent, you also could get addicted to that, and then you will become upset when you don't recieve the kind of feedback you prefer.
May I suggest you try to spend at least half as much time on SR encouraging others as you do writing here, and see if that helps you crave less? Otherwise you are missing out on the power of SR to help you. Since your rules have restricted all suggestions outside of SR, then I offer that. It is within your guidelines.
Cunning, powerful, baffling, destructive and deceitful. Alcohol ruins the best of intentions in every aspect of living each and every day. Never say never. May you find the strength, guidance, and ability to become part of the sober life. Good luck, Paul.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
I don't entirely get this. When it comes to promises, trust is the issue. I do not want to promise that I will never drink again and drink two days or 10 days later. I just do not believe in "promises". I believe in action. I can promise every day that I will never drink a sip of alcohol in my life, but I can also promise that I will probably break that promise. So what is the point? I want to develop a mentality that doesn't want to drink, not forces myself not to drink.
And I have really enjoyed my "recovery" so far because I have put a lot in to it.
And I have really enjoyed my "recovery" so far because I have put a lot in to it.
You seem to stay sober for couple of days then drink-surely this cycle will just continue unless something changes. I know you say you don't want posts which suggest alternatives but if you don't change anything then the cycle will just continue.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Paul, You will always have times you want to drink. At least for a very long time after stopping, you will. If you are waiting for the day that wanting alcohol stops before you quit, then you will not ever stop. You are addicted. By your own words, you are.
Is some miracle going to appear and stop your desire to drink, just by venting on SR? No, it won't. Have you spent time on SR lately encouraging others on SR? Because if you just vent, you also could get addicted to that, and then you will become upset when you don't recieve the kind of feedback you prefer.
May I suggest you try to spend at least half as much time on SR encouraging others as you do writing here, and see if that helps you crave less? Otherwise you are missing out on the power of SR to help you. Since your rules have restricted all suggestions outside of SR, then I offer that. It is within your guidelines.
Is some miracle going to appear and stop your desire to drink, just by venting on SR? No, it won't. Have you spent time on SR lately encouraging others on SR? Because if you just vent, you also could get addicted to that, and then you will become upset when you don't recieve the kind of feedback you prefer.
May I suggest you try to spend at least half as much time on SR encouraging others as you do writing here, and see if that helps you crave less? Otherwise you are missing out on the power of SR to help you. Since your rules have restricted all suggestions outside of SR, then I offer that. It is within your guidelines.
For some reason I do much better when I'm doing this than when I'm not, so I like to just keep it going. Because regardless of me typing this stuff or not I still think it. I don't get the posts that imply I'm not trying... I am trying very hard, and if I slip up I want to be able to be honest about it, with out hiding from it and act like everything is all good.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
Do you think you are going to wake up one day and have just developed the mentality overnight that doesn't want to drink? For me, and what I've learned from others this only happens after an extended period of living life sober.
You seem to stay sober for couple of days then drink-surely this cycle will just continue unless something changes. I know you say you don't want posts which suggest alternatives but if you don't change anything then the cycle will just continue.
You seem to stay sober for couple of days then drink-surely this cycle will just continue unless something changes. I know you say you don't want posts which suggest alternatives but if you don't change anything then the cycle will just continue.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 391
the thing about booze, is that you THINK you can drink normal, but sooner or later you wind up back at the bottom of the pit...because if you are like me....there is NEVER enough wine, beer, vodka and all the experimenting in the world gives you that same old result.
i think going to bars and the whole social thing needs a major overhaul for you. at least for a few months. what's going to happen when the holidays hit you?
i think going to bars and the whole social thing needs a major overhaul for you. at least for a few months. what's going to happen when the holidays hit you?
Kza- There are programs that help you stop without the internal fighting. AA, AVRT, and "Alan Carr's book "The easy way to quit drinking" all help (in different ways, mind you) so that the inner battle is removed.
However, Paul has stated he will not tolerate any advice about anything but going on SR and posting on his thread. So therefore, I believe his desire for alcohol will remain until he has a period of time under his belt that is consecutive, and his brain and body clear it out.
But YOU don't have to suffer. Try one of the options I just mentioned.
However, Paul has stated he will not tolerate any advice about anything but going on SR and posting on his thread. So therefore, I believe his desire for alcohol will remain until he has a period of time under his belt that is consecutive, and his brain and body clear it out.
But YOU don't have to suffer. Try one of the options I just mentioned.
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