A message of hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
A message of hope
I've been sober 90 days today....
90 nights ago I was nearing the end of a bottle of vodka, I was hurting so much I honestly didn't care if I went to sleep and never woke up. I had done a couple of months without drinking, had got through the tough first few weeks and had started believing I could live without a bottle, started seeing glimpses of a better life. Yet, there I was again. Drunk. I hated myself, my life, the past that had damaged me beyond all hope of ever being able to change. I posted a desperate message on SR saying my goodbyes. As far as I was concerned, I had well and truly moved beyond the point of being able to get well.
I don't remember getting to bed.
But I did wake the next morning. I read SR, and the responses I got from you all that night changed my life. There was nothing but huge waves of total love and support from you all. I sat reading with tears streaming down my face.
Something changed for me that night. I felt loved and supported in a way I'd never had in my life until that point.
I just want to tell anyone starting out, or anyone who has slipped, please just jump straight back on the wagon.
My life now? I am honestly experiencing a happiness I never thought possible. My marriage, my relationship with my kids-all on a different level. Everything is real. I'm facing the demons of my past and moving forward. I see the world as not something to be afraid of now, but something to be enjoyed. My tormented soul is healing. It started and continues with SR and AA, both of which have saved my life.
It really feels ok to be me now.
It is still a bit scary and painful at times but I am free. I can see a future.
It is the most amazing feeling.
Thankyou all, I cannot put into words how much you mean to me xxx
90 nights ago I was nearing the end of a bottle of vodka, I was hurting so much I honestly didn't care if I went to sleep and never woke up. I had done a couple of months without drinking, had got through the tough first few weeks and had started believing I could live without a bottle, started seeing glimpses of a better life. Yet, there I was again. Drunk. I hated myself, my life, the past that had damaged me beyond all hope of ever being able to change. I posted a desperate message on SR saying my goodbyes. As far as I was concerned, I had well and truly moved beyond the point of being able to get well.
I don't remember getting to bed.
But I did wake the next morning. I read SR, and the responses I got from you all that night changed my life. There was nothing but huge waves of total love and support from you all. I sat reading with tears streaming down my face.
Something changed for me that night. I felt loved and supported in a way I'd never had in my life until that point.
I just want to tell anyone starting out, or anyone who has slipped, please just jump straight back on the wagon.
My life now? I am honestly experiencing a happiness I never thought possible. My marriage, my relationship with my kids-all on a different level. Everything is real. I'm facing the demons of my past and moving forward. I see the world as not something to be afraid of now, but something to be enjoyed. My tormented soul is healing. It started and continues with SR and AA, both of which have saved my life.
It really feels ok to be me now.
It is still a bit scary and painful at times but I am free. I can see a future.
It is the most amazing feeling.
Thankyou all, I cannot put into words how much you mean to me xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Jeni26
I have just read your post and I am now sit here with tears streaming down my face. That is the most moving, inspiring, honest story I could wish to read.
You have made me realise and acknowledge that I can do this and I am not alone.
Thank you so much
Gxxxx
I have just read your post and I am now sit here with tears streaming down my face. That is the most moving, inspiring, honest story I could wish to read.
You have made me realise and acknowledge that I can do this and I am not alone.
Thank you so much
Gxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 804
Hi Jeni,
Something else we share besides a name...it's my 90 day also. I remember that day well also. I was a shell of a person. I was so sick I didn't know whether I was coming or going. There was literally nothing there. At that point, death almost seemed like a better option. Or maybe even the only option.
Ninety days later, life is a miracle. I now have a relationship with my husband and children. I look forward to getting up each day even for something simple like a coffee. Each day is a gift that I try not to take for granted. I know that with one drink I could be right back where I started. So for me, today, the choice is not even a choice. Drink=death and destruction. Sobriety=life.
For today, I am choosing life.
So, Jeni, congrats on your 90 days. Have a sparkling day!
Jennikate
Something else we share besides a name...it's my 90 day also. I remember that day well also. I was a shell of a person. I was so sick I didn't know whether I was coming or going. There was literally nothing there. At that point, death almost seemed like a better option. Or maybe even the only option.
Ninety days later, life is a miracle. I now have a relationship with my husband and children. I look forward to getting up each day even for something simple like a coffee. Each day is a gift that I try not to take for granted. I know that with one drink I could be right back where I started. So for me, today, the choice is not even a choice. Drink=death and destruction. Sobriety=life.
For today, I am choosing life.
So, Jeni, congrats on your 90 days. Have a sparkling day!
Jennikate
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi jennikate! Yes, it doesn't hurt to look back does it? We are both a world away from that dark place. But a reminder of how it was and how it could be again is important to consider.
Life is for living. We've both made that choice.
Many congratulations to you too xx
Life is for living. We've both made that choice.
Many congratulations to you too xx
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Jeni..CONGRATS on 90 DAYS!!!! Your post moved me to chills, it was so inspiring. Thanks for that, and for reminding me how important SR was to me in early recovery, just as it is today. I love reading your posts, and am glad you are part of the SR family!
And thank you for that positive message.
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