A message of hope
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
Wow. Jeni, I read this post from you and I got the chills everywhere and the more I read the more I got the chills. I felt exactly like this 2 weeks ago from today and I'm 14 days sober. I've been playing the on/off wagon game for the past 2 years after a stint in rehab that I had once thought was the end of my drinking career. It wasn't. the last 2 years have been proof that this disease is all-encompassing and very progressive. I never ever had suicidal thoughts until this last year, when I was hiding vodka anywhere I could hide it without my boyfriend finding it. Anyway, something happened this last time. I almost got fired. The "buzz" i was getting was non-existent...always chasing that feeling that never came back. I was depressed and hopeless. But, I made myself get through that first week and with only a new 14 days under my belt, I really do think this time is different. It's an amazing feeling to feel life for what it is, clearheaded.
I wish you the best of luck! Congrats on 90!
I wish you the best of luck! Congrats on 90!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Panama City, Fl.
Posts: 3
I wish it were me....
Im in tears right now because your writing my tale. But, what if when I'm sober I don't like the person I've been running from in the mirror? Like you I have ruined all I ever worked for, I hate myself totally and completly and the things I have done shamed my credibility and notability with all who knew me. Drinking is the only thing Im was good at now. I broke down last night to my husband in a drunken crying pity party begging him for help to help to stop me. I took the first step in asking for help but he doesn't know how serious it is and that I drink in the morning as well as at night. I skipped my morning vodka today but not sure when he gets here if i can do it. It's been almost a 3 year ritual. All I have is my 'will' and I pray it's strong enough. I've never tried to quit before now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
Jw3013.
I understand you, I know it seems impossible and you feel very alone right now. I wouldn't have got past that feeling had I not reached out and asked for help.
It is possible, I'm still early in recovery but I already feel that hope in a future free from the emotional turmoil you're going through right now.
Hang in there.
Keep posting.
You can do this xxx
I understand you, I know it seems impossible and you feel very alone right now. I wouldn't have got past that feeling had I not reached out and asked for help.
It is possible, I'm still early in recovery but I already feel that hope in a future free from the emotional turmoil you're going through right now.
Hang in there.
Keep posting.
You can do this xxx
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