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Old 08-21-2012, 11:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I need to get sober but can't


Hey

I'm 28 and have been in/out of recovery since I was in high school. I've had years at a time sober with AA but picked up about 1 year ago after failing to attend to meetings for several months. When I was younger, drugs were my problem and alcohol was sort of in the background. Currently, I am only drinking and can not stop.

I wake up hungover promising myself I will not drink again yet I go to bed every night intoxicated, wishing I were sober. At about 5-6pm the hangover has worn off and I cannot stop myself from drinking again. Everyday. Same routine. For a year now.

Because of my history, many of my friends are in some form of recovery. I have been lying to all of them. My family thinks I am still sober. Also lying there. I feel horrible. I'm tired of lying. Tired of feeling like garbage. I just want to be sober and OK again.

Anyone have suggestions? I'm getting desperate. Having been through this many times before, I know I will eventually hit some bottom again (an arrest, job loss, family problems, etc.) I want to get clean BEFORE something like this happens. Help =(
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Im in the very same boat.....but lastnite was my first nite in a year not drinkin it is hard but u have done it before!! heres too day two!!
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Old 08-22-2012, 12:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
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" I need to get sober but I can't"

Actually you need to get sober but you WON'T!

Big difference between CAN'T and WON'T.

You very much COULD get sober if you made the choice to do so.

You're using drinking, as you always have, to cope with your life, to deal with your feelings and because you have an addiction to alcohol

One that has caused you problems since childhood. I assume if many of your friends are already in the program you have already seen first hand what alcohol does to lives.

It makes lit lie to the people you love, destroys relationships, opportunities and lives.

You are 28 years old now. You're an adult. I'm SURE you have responsibilities.

It's about time you make the choice to get sober. It's about time you stop telling yourself you can't and start taking it one day at a time.

I keep screwing up lately. Getting sober and then blowing it once night and going on a bender. All it takes it one.

You are not a kid anymore. You are wasting your life away by allowing drinking to control you.

Get in the program, get in therapy, learn how to cope with life without picking up the bottle.

Nothing will change for you OR for me until we do.

Our stories sound similar although where I'm from it's A LOT of drugs but drinking is how it ALWAYS starts.

My EXABF is your age. He's sitting his ass in jail for the next 5 years. He used, and he committed crimes but it all started with drinking. And he literally broke my heart, broke his Mother's heart, ruined his life, lost his freedom... that's not what you want is it?

Because if you keep going down this path that where you'll end up.

Welcome to SR, coming here is a good first step. Now stop lying to the people in your life. Be honest and get the help you need. No one can help you but you.

I truly wish you the best of luck.
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Old 08-22-2012, 01:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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welcome bbfmkay

I think if we want changes in our lives, we really need to make changes.
Supports really important too.

You'll find a lot of that here, but are you open to the idea of recovery groups too?

If you are, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I think it's a good idea to click all the links to get an idea of what kinds of support is available.

I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

good to have you with us
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Old 08-22-2012, 05:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbfmkay View Post
Hey

I'm 28 and have been in/out of recovery since I was in high school. I've had years at a time sober with AA but picked up about 1 year ago after failing to attend to meetings for several months. When I was younger, drugs were my problem and alcohol was sort of in the background. Currently, I am only drinking and can not stop.

I wake up hungover promising myself I will not drink again yet I go to bed every night intoxicated, wishing I were sober. At about 5-6pm the hangover has worn off and I cannot stop myself from drinking again. Everyday. Same routine. For a year now.

Because of my history, many of my friends are in some form of recovery. I have been lying to all of them. My family thinks I am still sober. Also lying there. I feel horrible. I'm tired of lying. Tired of feeling like garbage. I just want to be sober and OK again.

Anyone have suggestions? I'm getting desperate. Having been through this many times before, I know I will eventually hit some bottom again (an arrest, job loss, family problems, etc.) I want to get clean BEFORE something like this happens. Help =(


get some courage, make a decision you want to get sober,stop lying and get back to meetings.
"i stopped goin to meetings" is something i hear from people who return in worse shape than they were.
since you see what the problem and know what the problem is, and you already mention a solution that worked pretty good for years, the choice is now yours.
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Old 08-22-2012, 05:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I started getting honest with the people in my life about my drinking problems and everything changed for me. I finally had insurance to stay sober.

You can't keep it to yourself, you have to make changes if you want to change your drinking habits. It's hard, you just have to suck it up and tell people straight - as a should do. You will find that it will be a great relief to you. It's time to up the ante.

Welcome aboard.
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Old 08-22-2012, 05:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Been there and done that. I was really ready to walk in the doors of AA, and I am so glad I finally surrendered and did! I am now 8 months, and happier than ever!
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Old 08-22-2012, 05:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbfmkay View Post
Hey

I'm 28 and have been in/out of recovery since I was in high school. I've had years at a time sober with AA but picked up about 1 year ago after failing to attend to meetings for several months. When I was younger, drugs were my problem and alcohol was sort of in the background. Currently, I am only drinking and can not stop.

I wake up hungover promising myself I will not drink again yet I go to bed every night intoxicated, wishing I were sober. At about 5-6pm the hangover has worn off and I cannot stop myself from drinking again. Everyday. Same routine. For a year now.

Because of my history, many of my friends are in some form of recovery. I have been lying to all of them. My family thinks I am still sober. Also lying there. I feel horrible. I'm tired of lying. Tired of feeling like garbage. I just want to be sober and OK again.

Anyone have suggestions? I'm getting desperate. Having been through this many times before, I know I will eventually hit some bottom again (an arrest, job loss, family problems, etc.) I want to get clean BEFORE something like this happens. Help =(
I think I found your problem ......

It sounds like you are an alcoholic like me. My sponsor used to say "Don't drink and go to meetings". He never said quit going.

What did your sponsor say ?? ......

I think if you get back to AA and commit to it that your life will get back on track.

All the best.

Bob R
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