Welcome penny -
I'm sorry for your struggles, but glad you decided to join us..... Admittedly, you're in a tough spot because you need some kind of pain relief. Have you talked to your doctor about alternatives, or even different meds for your pain?
I found that, when I couldn't stop drinking on my own, the support here helped motivate me to get sober and keep at it, one day at a time. As you're looking around, I hope you check out the substance abuse part of our forum, too: Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information