Where is this urge coming from?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Where is this urge coming from?
Hi everyone
I have read about triggers etc.. but I am just sitting here at work - working away and out of no where i am thinking about going out with the after work crowd for a glass of wine. I would probably do ok tonight, but that stupid cycle would get started and by the end of the week i am up to 3 a night and feel like crap!!!
Help!!! What is going on??
I have read about triggers etc.. but I am just sitting here at work - working away and out of no where i am thinking about going out with the after work crowd for a glass of wine. I would probably do ok tonight, but that stupid cycle would get started and by the end of the week i am up to 3 a night and feel like crap!!!
Help!!! What is going on??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19
You cannot control the thoughts that come into your head. You can only control how you respond and react to your situation.
I'm in early recovery and I still get triggered and have flashes of thinking about using. All I know is that my addict wants to take over my life and will kill me. I don't know why I am an addict, but I am.
Are you going to meetings?
I'm in early recovery and I still get triggered and have flashes of thinking about using. All I know is that my addict wants to take over my life and will kill me. I don't know why I am an addict, but I am.
Are you going to meetings?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
No- only because of my child care situation. I am really trying this online for now and have a therapist appointment Thurs. I have been to meetings and I know that I am not special etc. but I felt like my issues were so small in comparison. People were there with dui, prison etc and i just want to get my life together, get a new group of moms to do things with and not be hung over again.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. After 34 years in AA, I still get the "out of the blue" urges. "Gee, it's hot today. Boy, wouldn't it be nice to have an ice cold bottle of Labatts Blue? (not even sure if this is still sold, but it used to be my favorite beer) "
The nice thing is ... I don't have to react to them. Now I set up a counter thought. "It might be nice to have that beer, but I think life is sooooo much cooler"
The nice thing is ... I don't have to react to them. Now I set up a counter thought. "It might be nice to have that beer, but I think life is sooooo much cooler"
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR ashbyee....If you haven't read this...It's worth checking out. As far as meetings go...If you can get to them...Try to identify and not compare...Look for similarities with your drinking and not how bad the other people are...Glad you found the site.
The Doctor's Opinion
The Doctor's Opinion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Ash, I'm in early recovery, sO my wisdom and advise are very limited. That said, this is progressive and for me it got worse then very bad pretty quickly. In hindsight I regret not dealing wit it properly earlier on. Seeing the counselor is agood start, until you can talk with her abut your recovery plan id recommend developing a sound do not drink strategy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19
I don't have children so I can't say much to that. All I know is my thinking could not help me stop. I was in therapy for two years and I lied to my therapist. Whenever she told me I have a problem with addiction I minimized my use and denied it was such a problem in my life.
From the outside my life looked just fine. I had a house, a car, a job, friends and family. Until my disease progressed and all that mattered to me was using. I kept telling myself that I don't belong at a treatment centre or AA/NA with the 'real' alcoholics and addicts. I never had any major trama in my life, I was never abused, I did not have any legal problems. My conception of a drunk or drug addict was extreme. Surely I couldn't be the same as them.
I look back now over my life and I can see how strong my denial was. How much my addiction had completely consumed me. I'm still new to recovery and it pains me to remember how little I thought of myself and how careless I was with my own life.
If you think you have a problem, you cannot solve it alone. AA/NA are not the only ways of recovery, but it is working for me and it has worked for many before me. Go to a few meetings. Read the Big Book. See if you can relate.
You are worth it.
From the outside my life looked just fine. I had a house, a car, a job, friends and family. Until my disease progressed and all that mattered to me was using. I kept telling myself that I don't belong at a treatment centre or AA/NA with the 'real' alcoholics and addicts. I never had any major trama in my life, I was never abused, I did not have any legal problems. My conception of a drunk or drug addict was extreme. Surely I couldn't be the same as them.
I look back now over my life and I can see how strong my denial was. How much my addiction had completely consumed me. I'm still new to recovery and it pains me to remember how little I thought of myself and how careless I was with my own life.
If you think you have a problem, you cannot solve it alone. AA/NA are not the only ways of recovery, but it is working for me and it has worked for many before me. Go to a few meetings. Read the Big Book. See if you can relate.
You are worth it.
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I was lucky I didn't pay attention to the stories that much when I attended AA. I focused that I want to get healthier. I told my problems, and I knew my way wasn't working. I don't care about other peoples DUI's and all that Jazz. I want to know how I can have a bad day full of annoying things and not take a drink.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
What is going on? It's a simple question with a simple answer. The urge to have a drink appeals directly to our 'feel good' brain center. We (have been conditioned to) believe that it tastes good, and we (have been conditioned to) like the feeling of that warm glow of a buzz, lowered inhibitions, relaxation, and so forth.
Unlike many other things we do that make us feel good like exercise and mastery, we can become dependent in several ways on this effect, and due to the tolerance we develop, it will take more alcohol to achieve these effects with ever increasing damage to our physical, mental and spiritual health.
You will be told that alcohol is magic somehow and it has certain human like qualities. It really is just an addictive chemical that will make us sick. The good news is that these bad things that happen to us stop when we stop drinking.
If you think you have a problem, you most certainly can solve it by yourself. People have been doing just that, quitting alcohol, for thousands of years. You can do it too.
Unlike many other things we do that make us feel good like exercise and mastery, we can become dependent in several ways on this effect, and due to the tolerance we develop, it will take more alcohol to achieve these effects with ever increasing damage to our physical, mental and spiritual health.
You will be told that alcohol is magic somehow and it has certain human like qualities. It really is just an addictive chemical that will make us sick. The good news is that these bad things that happen to us stop when we stop drinking.
If you think you have a problem, you most certainly can solve it by yourself. People have been doing just that, quitting alcohol, for thousands of years. You can do it too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by freshstart57 
If you think you have a problem, you most certainly can solve it by yourself. People have been doing just that, quitting alcohol, for thousands of years. You can do it too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Six steps to heaven
1. Stimulus
The stimulus to the brain starts with a physical condition such as low blood sugar. It can also come from a visual signal from something desirable or undesirable, or even pure thought. In each case, the stimulus is a trigger for a sequence of internal events which will result in external action.
2. Urge
The thalamus in the limbic system ('leopard brain') converts the physical need into an urge within the cortex. It is, in effect, saying 'Hey, do something! You have an unfulfilled need!' Cognitively-driven urges have a similar effect, where internal imaginings trigger an urge response.
Urges are, quite literally, urgent. They have priority and force other matters aside. They are frequently felt as a kind of 'emptiness', typically felt physically as a gnawing feeling in the abdomen.
For example the low blood-sugar gets translated in hunger. The lack of human company, especially close companionship, is a more instinctively driven situation that provides urge. Note how both give you a feeling of emptiness.
3. Desire
The cortex then translates this urge into a targeted desire for something specific, which gives us a conscious motivation towards a particular goal. The underlying urge becomes wants and needs. Wants and needs have to struggle against one another in a priority list for action now or later or not at all. The strength of the urge is thus important, with strong urges leading to needs that jump the queue, demanding immediate action.
For example the felt urge of hunger is translated into a desire for food, whilst the urge for human company becomes a desire for company. This can be a desperate desire, as the starving person thinks of nothing but food and the love-struck individual cannot get the object of their desires out of their mind.
4. Action
Eventually the urge-desire reaches its goal and the person takes physical steps to satisfy the internal nagging that has prodded them into action.
The action may be small or it may take significant time and effort. It may also be undesirable in some way, such as when a person on a diet does not really want to eat. This only goes to show the power of this internal motivation system to force us into even uncomfortable action.
5. Evidence
To complete the loop, the brain now needs proof that the action has been completed before it proceeds with its reward. It is not enough to remove the stimulus, for example intravenous feeding or going to a crowded place does not make you feel good.
The evidence has to come in a particular place. It is specific actions which are rewarded. Going to a restaurant is not good enough. Looking at food is not good enough. Putting it in your mouth is in the right direction. You can almost hear the brain shouting 'go on, go on'. But it is the swallowing where you feel good.
6. Reward
When the limbic system detects that we are satisfying the urge, like any motivation system it must reward to encourage continuance of the desirable behavior.
The brain rewards us in two stages. The first stage is to tell us that we are doing the right thing and to encourage us to keep doing it. Thus we get to feel satisfaction for each mouthful of food. It's as if the brain is saying ‘That’s right! Keep doing that!’
However, we can't keep eating forever and there is a point at which our bodies have sufficient input to sustain them for a while. The job of the brain is now to stop us eating. It does this by making us feel fulfilled, often by a literal feeling of being 'full'. It is as if the brain says ‘Well done! That’s enough for now.’
The gnawing emptiness is now replaced by a replete sense of completion and satisfaction as we sit back and relax in an after dinner snooze.
When the system goes astray
This system does not always work to our advantage. If it breaks in some way, then we can either find ourselves stranded and unmotivated or stuck in a cycle of repetition.
Can't start
What if the cycle does not complete? The stimulation may be there, but somehow the chain of urge-desire-action has been broken.
One way we are unable to start doing something we should is where urges clash, and one overcomes the other. In Anorexia Nervosa, the urge to be socially accepted and the consequent desire to be fashionably thin overrides the urge to eat. Cleverly, the part of the mind that wants to be thin compensates for the painfully thin reflection by hallucinating it into a fat and undesirable person.
We can also break cycles merely by interruption. People who fast for political or religious reasons will tell you that once you have got past the day or so, it becomes increasingly easy to not eat, to the point where they have to force themselves to eat for some while before it becomes pleasurable again.
Can't stop
As well as not being able start, we can also fall into a state where we cannot stop. The 'fulfillment' signal is either broken or is overridden by a stronger urge-desire signal.
The reverse of Anorexia is over-eating. In this case, it is the system which tells us to stop which is broken. This may happen where the urge for comfort and to feel good drives us to do those things which have made us feel good in the past. Eating is thus driven less by the body's need for food as the brain's need for comfort.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a classic syndrome where non-helpful urges fall into a can't stop cycle. These can include peculiar 'can't stop' activities, from counting and repetitive movements to collecting and other actions that others find annoying or trivial.
So what?
So this is the inner secret of how the brain prods us into action. You can use this system to change behaviors.
Breaking the cycle
To stop someone over-eating, you could provide something more desirable. When they reach for the food, show them a picture of a healthy person. You can also do the reverse, showing them a picture of a fat person. You could put a mirror on the refrigerator.
You can also break cycles by removing stimuli. So take away the food. Or replace it with fruit and vegetables. Make mealtimes short. Fix the times when you eat.
Introducing other urges
You can also overpower them with other urges that blot out and distract from the urge you want to extinguish.
Get them interested in sport and being healthy. Take them out to dinner and let them pay. Go to expensive restaurants. Put something that smells nasty in the refrigerator.
Changing the rewards
Finally, you can attack the end-point, the rewards they receive for both acting and completing the action.
Make the food bland so it doesn't taste so good. Change the texture or appearance. Watch a horror movie or listen to disliked music during the meal.
Give completion awards earlier and make them significant. So eat before going to the theater, but go late so you've only a short period before the play. Have a small first course followed quickly by a very tasty second course.
The Brain's Urge system
1. Stimulus
The stimulus to the brain starts with a physical condition such as low blood sugar. It can also come from a visual signal from something desirable or undesirable, or even pure thought. In each case, the stimulus is a trigger for a sequence of internal events which will result in external action.
2. Urge
The thalamus in the limbic system ('leopard brain') converts the physical need into an urge within the cortex. It is, in effect, saying 'Hey, do something! You have an unfulfilled need!' Cognitively-driven urges have a similar effect, where internal imaginings trigger an urge response.
Urges are, quite literally, urgent. They have priority and force other matters aside. They are frequently felt as a kind of 'emptiness', typically felt physically as a gnawing feeling in the abdomen.
For example the low blood-sugar gets translated in hunger. The lack of human company, especially close companionship, is a more instinctively driven situation that provides urge. Note how both give you a feeling of emptiness.
3. Desire
The cortex then translates this urge into a targeted desire for something specific, which gives us a conscious motivation towards a particular goal. The underlying urge becomes wants and needs. Wants and needs have to struggle against one another in a priority list for action now or later or not at all. The strength of the urge is thus important, with strong urges leading to needs that jump the queue, demanding immediate action.
For example the felt urge of hunger is translated into a desire for food, whilst the urge for human company becomes a desire for company. This can be a desperate desire, as the starving person thinks of nothing but food and the love-struck individual cannot get the object of their desires out of their mind.
4. Action
Eventually the urge-desire reaches its goal and the person takes physical steps to satisfy the internal nagging that has prodded them into action.
The action may be small or it may take significant time and effort. It may also be undesirable in some way, such as when a person on a diet does not really want to eat. This only goes to show the power of this internal motivation system to force us into even uncomfortable action.
5. Evidence
To complete the loop, the brain now needs proof that the action has been completed before it proceeds with its reward. It is not enough to remove the stimulus, for example intravenous feeding or going to a crowded place does not make you feel good.
The evidence has to come in a particular place. It is specific actions which are rewarded. Going to a restaurant is not good enough. Looking at food is not good enough. Putting it in your mouth is in the right direction. You can almost hear the brain shouting 'go on, go on'. But it is the swallowing where you feel good.
6. Reward
When the limbic system detects that we are satisfying the urge, like any motivation system it must reward to encourage continuance of the desirable behavior.
The brain rewards us in two stages. The first stage is to tell us that we are doing the right thing and to encourage us to keep doing it. Thus we get to feel satisfaction for each mouthful of food. It's as if the brain is saying ‘That’s right! Keep doing that!’
However, we can't keep eating forever and there is a point at which our bodies have sufficient input to sustain them for a while. The job of the brain is now to stop us eating. It does this by making us feel fulfilled, often by a literal feeling of being 'full'. It is as if the brain says ‘Well done! That’s enough for now.’
The gnawing emptiness is now replaced by a replete sense of completion and satisfaction as we sit back and relax in an after dinner snooze.
When the system goes astray
This system does not always work to our advantage. If it breaks in some way, then we can either find ourselves stranded and unmotivated or stuck in a cycle of repetition.
Can't start
What if the cycle does not complete? The stimulation may be there, but somehow the chain of urge-desire-action has been broken.
One way we are unable to start doing something we should is where urges clash, and one overcomes the other. In Anorexia Nervosa, the urge to be socially accepted and the consequent desire to be fashionably thin overrides the urge to eat. Cleverly, the part of the mind that wants to be thin compensates for the painfully thin reflection by hallucinating it into a fat and undesirable person.
We can also break cycles merely by interruption. People who fast for political or religious reasons will tell you that once you have got past the day or so, it becomes increasingly easy to not eat, to the point where they have to force themselves to eat for some while before it becomes pleasurable again.
Can't stop
As well as not being able start, we can also fall into a state where we cannot stop. The 'fulfillment' signal is either broken or is overridden by a stronger urge-desire signal.
The reverse of Anorexia is over-eating. In this case, it is the system which tells us to stop which is broken. This may happen where the urge for comfort and to feel good drives us to do those things which have made us feel good in the past. Eating is thus driven less by the body's need for food as the brain's need for comfort.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a classic syndrome where non-helpful urges fall into a can't stop cycle. These can include peculiar 'can't stop' activities, from counting and repetitive movements to collecting and other actions that others find annoying or trivial.
So what?
So this is the inner secret of how the brain prods us into action. You can use this system to change behaviors.
Breaking the cycle
To stop someone over-eating, you could provide something more desirable. When they reach for the food, show them a picture of a healthy person. You can also do the reverse, showing them a picture of a fat person. You could put a mirror on the refrigerator.
You can also break cycles by removing stimuli. So take away the food. Or replace it with fruit and vegetables. Make mealtimes short. Fix the times when you eat.
Introducing other urges
You can also overpower them with other urges that blot out and distract from the urge you want to extinguish.
Get them interested in sport and being healthy. Take them out to dinner and let them pay. Go to expensive restaurants. Put something that smells nasty in the refrigerator.
Changing the rewards
Finally, you can attack the end-point, the rewards they receive for both acting and completing the action.
Make the food bland so it doesn't taste so good. Change the texture or appearance. Watch a horror movie or listen to disliked music during the meal.
Give completion awards earlier and make them significant. So eat before going to the theater, but go late so you've only a short period before the play. Have a small first course followed quickly by a very tasty second course.
The Brain's Urge system
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