ToberMummer

Hi All,

I've been starting to wonder if I'm really an alcoholic. I don't feel like I've been struggling that much. But I know this is a dangerous thought. And maybe I'm not an alcoholic when I'm sober, but that first beer flips a switch, and I usually don't stop. So I apologize if my posts are disturbingly optimistic, but I like how I'm feeling right now, and I feel like posting the happy thoughts helps to keep me from picking up that first one.

I got 2 weeks under my belt today!

And next Monday, I'm starting a new job. It's funny, I don't want to share what I do on this board, as in my field, excessive alcohol use is severely looked down upon (i.e. if someone finds out, you don't keep your job and you likely will never get one in the field again). Funnier is that I shared this information with everyone when I was at the bar. Strange things alcohol inspires one to do...

Anyway, I digress. I am really really excited about this job, but I am also anxious beyond belief. Sometimes I think a glass of wine or a beer would help me relax and focus... Jeez, am I delusional? In my rational mind, I know that it won't be just one. And I will get nothing accomplished, and in all honesty, those things together would add to the anxiety, and make my work less than what I'm capable of.

So yes, while this is pretty stressful, I'm trying to channel that stress in a good way. Throw my energy into my work, and remind me what's at stake if I were to pick up the bottle again. This is so much more important to me than a drink. Thanks for all your support everyone!

Peas!!

Hexipuff

Hi Tober.

I understand what you are saying but reading between all you say and what you have eloquently written I think you know the truth about you.

Two weeks is a great achievement. It is not that long ago I was two weeks sober and it is like a honeymoon period and easy to question whether you really have a problem with alcohol.

You feel stressed about a new job - that is natural isn't it? I would also say I used to stress a lot when drinking and used drink as a way to take it away - of course that never worked. I also would get drunk the day before an important event!!

Are you getting any support from any organisations? If you are maybe have a chat with someome about how you are feeling.

I appreciate that AA is not for everyone but it (and SR) are my life lines. Maybe you could try a meeting? If there was anyone from work there it wouldn't matter -you would both be there for the same reasons.

Talking on here helps too

ACT10Npack

Good job with your 2 weeks of sobriety but 2 weeks is a very short time for being sober. About your job, being nervous and/or having anxiety about your new job is a normal thing to have. It's not to decide how your going to deal with your anxiety with your new job or anything in general in life. Using alcohol to cope with your anxiety will only make things worst in the longer run for an alcoholic or non alcoholic. There is always a grace period when starting a new job they you will have a learning curve for the job. If you find that your having too much of a hard time with this then go to your local doctor and ask if you can take something to deal with your anxiety. (anti-depression pills)

You don't want to be one of those guys that goes into work hungover or drunk!

FredG

Congrats on your new job.

It's totally up to you whether to drink or not.

But judging from what you've said, you should be prepared for the inevitable consequences if you do.

My favorite saying ...."If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you most certainly will"

ZiggyB

Two weeks is a great achievement!

And even though you are feeling nervous, alcohol actually makes anxiety worse in the long run so please keep that in mind.

yours in health,

-z

Anna

Good luck with your new job!