I did it. I went to my very first concert sober as anyone can be!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
I did it. I went to my very first concert sober as anyone can be!
Wow. After drinking for almost 10 years (daily, living off vodka shots and fumes), I became sober in August of 2010 for 4 months after a stay in rehab. I have been on and off the wagon for the past 2 years. (typical: 4 months on, 1-2 week binge followed by guilt and self-loathing, repeat cycle).
Anyway, been sober again for almost 2 weeks and decided this is it for me. No more drinking. No, Niki, I cannot control it. I have tried for 2 years - get the picture!!!
BUT, long story short, I love live music and have been avoiding shows for 2 years (along with sporting events and anything that involves a bar, which for a 28, 29 and 30 year old girl, is quite hard). BUT< ON SATURDAY, I went to an all day concert (was outside at the festival/concert from 1pm to midnight) with my boyfriend (who doesn't drink because I don't drink, very supportive guy, gotta love him) and 4 other friends who did drink all day and night long.
I was the designated driver - can you believe that? And I actually had a good time! Could you believe that? I couldn't believe that!
I thought I would be miserable. I thought I would act like a bump on a log. I thought the drunk people (and people in general) would annoy me. I thought I would be salivating the whole time. I thought I would want to go home after an hour. Now, don't get me wrong, I thought about alcohol alot, watched how many drinks each of my friends had, watched them double fisting draft beers and mixed drinks in an effort not to have to wait in line again...and I had alot of fresh lemonade, waters, and smoothies. I cannot, and I mean I CANNOT believe I had fun! It's amazing.
I danced a bit (it was folksy rock music, so it wasn't mosh-pit hip hop or anything nutty like that). I laughed. I had fun. And these weren't even my friends we went with - they were my boyfriend's friends - so I hardly knew them and I've ALWAYS used alcohol as a buffer and as a social lubricant because I don't know how to be "me" but I figured it out on Saturday.
I am so thankful I tried this and succeeded. I've never felt more alive and happy in my life. I honest to god did not think I would be able to do this and have fun. And I did have fun! I've almost locked myself up for 2 years, afraid to be me, afraid to go out because others drink and I Was so afraid of what they would think of me not drinking.
Will they think I'm a loser? Only dorks don't drink. With they think I'm a crazy person? People who don't understand alcoholism simply don't understand it. What do you mean? You're a 30-year old smart, pretty girl? Just stop after a few beers! Haha, yeah right. Been there, tried that, doesn't work for me.
I's sorry for the rant guys, I just really didn't believe I'd have any fun and it's so empowering knowing that I can do this.
Don't get me wrong, half of me still thinks I could've potentially had a bit more fun with some alcohol in me, but the icing on the cake was waking up at the hotel the next morning, me and my boyfriend bright eyes and bushy tailed, ready for breakfast - and seeing our 4 friends hungover as hell.
Thanks for listening.
Anyway, been sober again for almost 2 weeks and decided this is it for me. No more drinking. No, Niki, I cannot control it. I have tried for 2 years - get the picture!!!
BUT, long story short, I love live music and have been avoiding shows for 2 years (along with sporting events and anything that involves a bar, which for a 28, 29 and 30 year old girl, is quite hard). BUT< ON SATURDAY, I went to an all day concert (was outside at the festival/concert from 1pm to midnight) with my boyfriend (who doesn't drink because I don't drink, very supportive guy, gotta love him) and 4 other friends who did drink all day and night long.
I was the designated driver - can you believe that? And I actually had a good time! Could you believe that? I couldn't believe that!
I thought I would be miserable. I thought I would act like a bump on a log. I thought the drunk people (and people in general) would annoy me. I thought I would be salivating the whole time. I thought I would want to go home after an hour. Now, don't get me wrong, I thought about alcohol alot, watched how many drinks each of my friends had, watched them double fisting draft beers and mixed drinks in an effort not to have to wait in line again...and I had alot of fresh lemonade, waters, and smoothies. I cannot, and I mean I CANNOT believe I had fun! It's amazing.
I danced a bit (it was folksy rock music, so it wasn't mosh-pit hip hop or anything nutty like that). I laughed. I had fun. And these weren't even my friends we went with - they were my boyfriend's friends - so I hardly knew them and I've ALWAYS used alcohol as a buffer and as a social lubricant because I don't know how to be "me" but I figured it out on Saturday.
I am so thankful I tried this and succeeded. I've never felt more alive and happy in my life. I honest to god did not think I would be able to do this and have fun. And I did have fun! I've almost locked myself up for 2 years, afraid to be me, afraid to go out because others drink and I Was so afraid of what they would think of me not drinking.
Will they think I'm a loser? Only dorks don't drink. With they think I'm a crazy person? People who don't understand alcoholism simply don't understand it. What do you mean? You're a 30-year old smart, pretty girl? Just stop after a few beers! Haha, yeah right. Been there, tried that, doesn't work for me.
I's sorry for the rant guys, I just really didn't believe I'd have any fun and it's so empowering knowing that I can do this.
Don't get me wrong, half of me still thinks I could've potentially had a bit more fun with some alcohol in me, but the icing on the cake was waking up at the hotel the next morning, me and my boyfriend bright eyes and bushy tailed, ready for breakfast - and seeing our 4 friends hungover as hell.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Fabulous post! It IS possible to have fun sober at events you would have enjoyed while drinking. I know the feeling, that maybe it would have been a little more fun buzzed (and really, it probably only would have been a LITTLE more fun) but waking up clear eyed remembering the entire event is a huge reward. In most of our realities, it might not have been more fun drinking, if you overdid it, did something stupid, forgot half the event,etc. It's nice you have a supportive boyfriend! Glad you had such a good time
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
That's really cool Niki So glad you had a good time, and thanks for taking the time to tell us about it. I'm sure that post will inspire and give hope to lots of people. It sure is a fab thing when we realise that actually we can function and even have fun without alcohol x Well done x
So glad you had a good time, and thanks for taking the time to tell us about it. I'm sure that post will inspire and give hope to lots of people. It sure is a fab thing when we realise that actually we can function and even have fun without alcohol x Well done x
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Awesome Niki, congrats!!! I love live music too and have been to many a show sober so I can second how fun it can be!!! And I've had all those same thoughts, like people are judging and thinking, how can she not drink just a beer or two and stop? Or, what a straight edge for not even having a single drink to loosen up.....and I've also secretly felt a satisfaction when seeing their hungoverness, not that I want anyone to feel like total crap, but rather seeing what drinking all day looks like the following day reinforces my decision to quit.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Good for you, Niki!
I can't tell you how much more I love concerts now. I often get there early and stake out a great spot while other folks are waiting in line for drinks.
One time I was so close I ended up having a cool little exchange between songs with Jim James (from My Morning Jacket, Monsters of Folk, New Multitudes, etc.). Another time, the woman who opened for M. Ward climbed off stage and watched his show next to me; we talked quite a bit and she ended up giving me a couple of her CDs. Awesome!
The first surprise for me was that most people at shows do not drink like I did. They have a drink, maybe two, that's it. I really doubt they care or even notice whether others drink.
The second surprise was that people who do drink like I did are really, really annoying. They spend all their time yammering on about this and that, convinced how clever they are, when everyone around them just wants to hear the music (duh!).
Loser? Dork? Hardly. Non-drinkers start looking pretty awesome when you've got a loudmouth drunk standing right behind you. (I try to temper my annoyance by reminding myself, "Oh, yeah, that's probably how I used to be...", lol)
A final note on this topic: I've noticed that most of the younger musicians I see are very serious about their craft, much more so than when I started going to shows way back in the 1980s. Back then, half the bands seemed to be there to party—to get drunk on stage, pick up girls between sets, etc. I'm really impressed by the commitment and professionalism of today's artists. I was at a show recently and no one in the band had a drink all night, except for the cellist, of all people. She had a glass of red wine on stage, and ended up drinking only half of it.
It's all about the music, for them and for me. And far as I can tell, there's nothing dorky about that.
Thanks for the great post. Obviously a topic dear to my heart!
I can't tell you how much more I love concerts now. I often get there early and stake out a great spot while other folks are waiting in line for drinks.
One time I was so close I ended up having a cool little exchange between songs with Jim James (from My Morning Jacket, Monsters of Folk, New Multitudes, etc.). Another time, the woman who opened for M. Ward climbed off stage and watched his show next to me; we talked quite a bit and she ended up giving me a couple of her CDs. Awesome!The first surprise for me was that most people at shows do not drink like I did. They have a drink, maybe two, that's it. I really doubt they care or even notice whether others drink.
The second surprise was that people who do drink like I did are really, really annoying. They spend all their time yammering on about this and that, convinced how clever they are, when everyone around them just wants to hear the music (duh!).
Loser? Dork? Hardly. Non-drinkers start looking pretty awesome when you've got a loudmouth drunk standing right behind you. (I try to temper my annoyance by reminding myself, "Oh, yeah, that's probably how I used to be...", lol)
A final note on this topic: I've noticed that most of the younger musicians I see are very serious about their craft, much more so than when I started going to shows way back in the 1980s. Back then, half the bands seemed to be there to party—to get drunk on stage, pick up girls between sets, etc. I'm really impressed by the commitment and professionalism of today's artists. I was at a show recently and no one in the band had a drink all night, except for the cellist, of all people. She had a glass of red wine on stage, and ended up drinking only half of it.
It's all about the music, for them and for me. And far as I can tell, there's nothing dorky about that.
Thanks for the great post. Obviously a topic dear to my heart!
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