Why don't I feel like I fit?
ooooo doggie, can i relate!! i was scared crapless of talking when i got into AA. however, i was also at the point of desperation and wanted to get sober and change me. i had to get some gobs of courage to speak up and say what was goin on with me. luckily at the time, there was a detox which the workers would bring the clients to, so i had a lot of beginners/1st step/ what we used to be like, what happened, and what we're like now meetings.
at 1st i was listening to the drinking thing and thought," man, if they all heard my drinking life, theyd prolly tell me i aint ready yet."
but then i started listening to the thinkin thing. that man that went through electric shock treatment? he thought like i did, but was sober 27 years. the lady that held a predominant teaching job, drank everyday and was suicidal when she got into AA? she felt the same way i was feelin at that time, only 14 years prior.. the man that was a psycholigist? he had the same thinking as me. the x ray tech who drank ont he job? thought just like me. the gang member who did quite a few years in prison, got into some serious drugs along with the mass quantities of alcohol? same thinking.
to see this, i had to listen, but to really learn i wasnt unique, i had to open up and share what was goin on with me inside, the the fellowship shared their ESH and taught me how to get out from under.
all it took was courage to open up!
at 1st i was listening to the drinking thing and thought," man, if they all heard my drinking life, theyd prolly tell me i aint ready yet."
but then i started listening to the thinkin thing. that man that went through electric shock treatment? he thought like i did, but was sober 27 years. the lady that held a predominant teaching job, drank everyday and was suicidal when she got into AA? she felt the same way i was feelin at that time, only 14 years prior.. the man that was a psycholigist? he had the same thinking as me. the x ray tech who drank ont he job? thought just like me. the gang member who did quite a few years in prison, got into some serious drugs along with the mass quantities of alcohol? same thinking.
to see this, i had to listen, but to really learn i wasnt unique, i had to open up and share what was goin on with me inside, the the fellowship shared their ESH and taught me how to get out from under.
all it took was courage to open up!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Speaking as a shy person myself, I'd say give it some time. You don't have to get to know everyone at once. Yes there is a social/fellowship aspect to AA, but it's the program that is the basis and I think I would've been better off if I'd spent more of my early time in AA listening and learning rather than wondering what I should be doing or where I fit in.
People in AA are also at various stages of recovery themselves and are 'works in progress', they're finding their own way. At nearly 3 years in, I'm still learning, it never really stops. I felt very intimidated by some long timers in the beginning, but we're as human as the newcomer
People in AA are also at various stages of recovery themselves and are 'works in progress', they're finding their own way. At nearly 3 years in, I'm still learning, it never really stops. I felt very intimidated by some long timers in the beginning, but we're as human as the newcomer
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