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Old 08-24-2012, 02:06 PM
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I am rooting for you, jack.
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Old 08-24-2012, 02:20 PM
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HI again Jack

You have such fortitude and maturing for someone so young.

I'm glad that you've decided not to take the trip, if in doubt don't, I always think. There will be something else for you round the corner.

I'm very proud of what you've achieved in these few days and you should be too.

Things always have a way of working out.

Big hugs

Gxx
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Old 08-24-2012, 02:21 PM
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Whoops, I meant maturity!
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Old 08-24-2012, 02:27 PM
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More Great News!

I am so glad that your Mum has decided to join you in sobriety! Another positive effect of your commitment to not drink!

Thanks for sharing and CONGRATULATIONS!
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Old 08-26-2012, 11:30 AM
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Hi everyone. So it's been a wee and I am very pleased with myself. My Mum and I have found a new path and for her it has been 3 days, which is the longest time she has been sober in a while. Things are very positive and I have taken to the twelve steps from AA. I'm taking each day as it comes and I am groing ever stronger.

I feel liberated, and for today, I can call myself a Hero. Tomorrow I will find the strength to do so again. Thank you for all your support and I hope you have all had as positive and free a weekend as I have.

Love,
Jack
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Old 08-29-2012, 07:42 AM
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How are you?

I've been hoping that all is well with you and your Mom.

Keep us posted.
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Old 08-29-2012, 09:08 AM
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Hi everyone,

It's been a busy couple of days but both me and my Mum have perservered and are still going strong, and getting stronger by the day. I had a bit of a night Sunday - it was a bank holiday here in the UK on Monday, and all my friends were out and my partner went with them. I was having a tough night, it felt very lonely being in by myself and knowing that everyone else was out and it got slightly emotional. But I got a bath, watched some films and finished my book. I had a bad feeling about everyone being out, namely my partner, and before I know it, I get a phonecall and she was on her way to the hospital.
It turns out that some random ******** started on one of my friends and when my partner tried to calm it down, this person, this man in hi mid thirties, struck her to the ground and split her lip. I found it very hard to keep calm and headed to the hospital straight away. Her parents were there, disappointed in me for recent events obviously and my self esteem just fell through the floor. But my partner was very appreciative that I came to the hospital in the middle of the night and I am so glad that I was sober when it happened. She came home with me and we spoke for a bit, and invited me to stay last night. We just sat and talked and it was great, opening up emotionally and rekindling our spark.
It feels like my life is actually turning around, and the events of the weekend are just another reason to hate alcohol that much more. The only thing I had trouble dealing with was the feeling of guilt that I wasn't at the pub with them to protect her. But I can't blame myself - I have to focus on keeping sober. I am doing just that. Things are looking up, but I won't lull myself into a false security. I remain vigilant and cautious and I am going to remember my vow for today and every day after.

I hope everyone is doing well,
Jack
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Old 08-29-2012, 09:34 AM
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Good to hear you are staying strong. That was a scare with your partner getting hurt but so great you were home and sober and could be there for her. I think one of the things so good about not drinking is actually being available, being mentally and physically able, being present in the moment to do what the moment might need from us. It does strengthen our connections with the others in our life who had become rather accustomed to our non-presence certain hours of the day.
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:35 PM
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You are #1

Sorry to hear about your girl getting hurt but dont beat yourself up about not being there. Your priorities are in good order and you are WINNING the battle with the beast, follow your good instincts and stay strong.

Alcohol causes us to do stupid things but hitting a woman is not acceptable, I hope the police were called and the jerk gets prosecuted. I can only imagine what would have happened if you were there... you might still be in jail or the hospital.

I'm glad you got to spend some time with her and talk. Hopefully that will continue.

Take Care
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:38 PM
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Sorry for what happened Jack but in my experience sadly things like that happen, whether we're there or not.

I'm glad she wasn't badly hurt and I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and staying strong

D
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Old 08-29-2012, 04:04 PM
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Thank you all for your replies. The police will catch him, and the guy will get what's coming to him. I lived an unhappy and self-destructive lifestyle, I pay the price of that through friendships, relationships and trust that has been lost or damaged. But I now live to redeem myself, and leave that selfish and savage lifestyle behind me - violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
I believe in my strength, certainly through the hard times. Temptation is easily entertained, but most difficult to ignore. The truth is that, I have no power over alcohol, at all, and I am focusing on recognising that within myself fully. But this is the most important battle of life, and I won't give in. There will be hard days, there will be days when I am tested to the limit, but they are each but a day. I will fight each one, in the moment, in that day. But those days are irrelevant to me, because they are not now. I can face the day with bravery and strength and confidence, because I do not want to be miserable. I don't want to hurt others. I want to channel the Hero in my Soul, and I do that by winning today. When I am in need of inspiration, I only need to think of everything that I've done. Today, I choose to be a better man than the one I left behind almost two weeks ago.

Love to you all. I'll never that first step I took by logging on here and being welcomed by you all. It may not have seemed so at the time, but when I look back, I think it may have been the best day of my life. Thank you all.
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Old 08-29-2012, 04:06 PM
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never forget*

(you know it's time to get some sleep when you forget entire words!)
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Old 09-01-2012, 06:06 PM
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Hope all is well, Jack. Thinking of you.
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Old 09-01-2012, 06:47 PM
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Today was my first day of sobriety. I am not feeling too well today, but I hope it gets better everyday. After drinking a bottle of gin a day it might take me a while to start feeling normal and healthy again. Wish me luck...Chaz
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Old 09-01-2012, 07:03 PM
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Welcome Chaz!

you'll find a lot of support here - feel free to start your own thread too

D
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Old 09-01-2012, 07:52 PM
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Hey Jack

Just got caught up on your story...hope all is well.

Welcome again Chaz....I said hello on your own thread
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Old 09-02-2012, 08:50 AM
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Hello everyone,

Thank you for your support. 2 weeks ober and counting.

Chaz, welcome to the forums, you will find much support here, keep posting and share your story.

I am learning to deal with situations - things that go wrong without turning to the drink and succumbing to the beast. It is liberating to solve problems with a clear head and I find that solutions come easily because I am not giving up as soon as something goes wrong.
I also have a peace of mind knowing that I am keeping my vow. One day at a time and I am taking the bad with the good. Sometimes it's hard, but I find that when I write in my journal, write on here or attend an AA meeting, my self esteem gains a boost and I remember that I am doing the best thing that I've ever done. It makes me feel good about myself.
I feel stronger now than I did two weeks ago and my strength is growing each day. I feel more connected to myself in a way I've never experienced and I'm beginning to accept and like my own nature and personality. It fills me with more determination to keep my vow.

Thank you all for your support,
Jack
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Old 09-02-2012, 09:55 AM
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Jack, you sound really good! Congratulations on the two weeks sober, and thanks for the update. Take care.
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Old 09-02-2012, 10:20 AM
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Welcome Aboard Jack. Stick around and you'll find loads of brilliant support and advice. Plenty of UK based to. Sunny Reading here
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:24 PM
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Hello again everyone. I hope you are all well! I am keeping well in my sobriety and have kept my vow since I made it. It is still early days, but my confidence against drink is growing with each day. One thing I am warned against alot, is not to get complacent in the future. I have heard many stories wherein people have been sober for months and relapsed because one down day they believed it was okay, as they haven't picked up a drink in a long while.
My guard against this occurance, is born with simply knowing the danger itself. It is improved by not thinking of my recovery as abstinence against alcohol - abstinence implies that I am denying myself a pleasure. I see it as opposition against alcohol.
The reason I think this, is because alcohol has power over me that I cannot control. I have no power and it is free to cause me ruin. It is free to hurt me. Temptation is a tool of the alcohol - its leverage point. The temptation that things would be easier, as if to release me from pain.
The simple point to remember is this: Alcohol does make things easier. It makes it easier for myself and others to get hurt. It makes it easier to give up on my dreams. It mkes it easier to succumb to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. It makes it easier to be a dispicable person.

What it does not make easier, is my life.

When I drank, any good times I THOUGHT I had, were an illusion. I acted terribly, and swept the truth under the rug of denial as if it were dirt. What was really happening, was that I was losing my life. Nights that I have no memory of, losing control of myself and being filled with regret. The rest of my life, the time I wasn't drunk, was spent apologising, regretting, and wanting to drown the guilt. I had no choice but to stop, because I would have ended up a lot worse than guilty. I am willing to accept what I've become. You're only truly clean once you lift that rug and accept that the 'dirt' can be moved, hidden, denied, but never changed.

For these reasons, I don't see alcohol as a denied "pleasure". It almost ruined my life, and many times nearly killed me. It would have succeeded if I had kept going. I say no. Not today. Not in this lifetime. Alcohol, my friends, was never a "pleasure". It was, and always will be, the enemy. A nuisance.
This realisation lead me to this fact: I was born an alcoholic. I will live an alcoholic and I will die an alcoholic - because an alcoholic is not a person who drinks too much, it is a person that is allergic to alcohol. We have no choice but to cut it out of our lives, because the alternative is death.
The fact to remember though, is that without poison clogging our veins, we begin to accept ourselves as we are, for our faults and our talents. I am beginning to like myself again, to accept myself. I don't worry about the future, because now, it seems bright.

One day at a time. My love to you all,
Jack
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