Maybe tomorrow or next month.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: hull england
Posts: 1
Maybe tomorrow or next month.
Hi everyone,
i wont bore you with the same old stories of drunken behaviour and regrets afterwards. i have been to meetings in the past and kept off booze for a month or so and then promise myself i will only ever have 2 drinks in any one day, obviously this ends up with 10 pints a night and i am fed up with it, i am currently half hung over only 5 pints y';day night but 2 this dinner to make me feel better. I am going away this weekend and have 6 bottles of good wine for the trip. i like drinking but want to stop, or is it possible to have just a couple- my partner does, maybe i lack willpower?
I am now nearly 47, a fire fighter and also a fitness freak, i keep fit to drink if that makes sense, but now its getting harder to do this.
Any suggestions, i am off to Spain in Sept, more booze, and various parties, social gatherings, lads nites out where i am known as the life and soul. I am sick of feeling down and sick the following day though, any suggestions.
i wont bore you with the same old stories of drunken behaviour and regrets afterwards. i have been to meetings in the past and kept off booze for a month or so and then promise myself i will only ever have 2 drinks in any one day, obviously this ends up with 10 pints a night and i am fed up with it, i am currently half hung over only 5 pints y';day night but 2 this dinner to make me feel better. I am going away this weekend and have 6 bottles of good wine for the trip. i like drinking but want to stop, or is it possible to have just a couple- my partner does, maybe i lack willpower?
I am now nearly 47, a fire fighter and also a fitness freak, i keep fit to drink if that makes sense, but now its getting harder to do this.
Any suggestions, i am off to Spain in Sept, more booze, and various parties, social gatherings, lads nites out where i am known as the life and soul. I am sick of feeling down and sick the following day though, any suggestions.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Well its a life long battle. But first meetings alone are going to keep you sober. Without taking the steps which are the key to sobriety , I am afraid you just keep doing the rinse and repeat thing.
And here is a little bit of what I do. I hope it can help even a bit.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html
You can be free.
And here is a little bit of what I do. I hope it can help even a bit.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html
You can be free.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Nothing changed for me, and for the greater assembly here at SR, until we each made the choice to stop drinking. For good, for real, no more alcohol. And that means none. Try searching google like this: site:soberrecovery.com moderation to give you links to SR threads where the whole idea of having one or two is discussed, sometimes at great lengths. I think this recent thread is particularly illustrative, from a guy named Paul. See if his plan is something you are willing to try.
Drinking makes you sick, and depressed (like me). One drink inevitably leads to more (like me). Being known as life and soul at the party is putting your own life and soul at risk (like me). You can find any number of people here who will tell you what to do based on our own experience, but that choice needs to be made by you. Think very carefully please - there is nothing to be gained by taking that next drink, and there really is everything to lose, it is all on the table until and unless you take the alcohol off the table.
Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Drinking makes you sick, and depressed (like me). One drink inevitably leads to more (like me). Being known as life and soul at the party is putting your own life and soul at risk (like me). You can find any number of people here who will tell you what to do based on our own experience, but that choice needs to be made by you. Think very carefully please - there is nothing to be gained by taking that next drink, and there really is everything to lose, it is all on the table until and unless you take the alcohol off the table.
Are you ready to make your plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
So...I was always in the mind set of "I will only have one". I always drank the whole bottle. I drank and drank and drank. Having 1 meant nothing. Promising to have 1 meant nothing. I was determined for years. I then came to the conclusion, after struggling for so long, that i could not keep my promises to myself or anybody else. I was going to lose the moderation game every time. I was going to be hurting in the morning every time. I was full of regret every time. I wasted a ton of time on a merry go round of drinking.
I quit drinking.
I quit drinking.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
In a word....NO!
Welcome to SR, it really sounds like you are coming to a turning point in your life. You've already stated the process of recovery by realizing it is time to stop.
For me it is ALL or nothing and I am not willing to risk it for a couple beers.
I also used to stay fit so I could drink.... then I stopped working out and just drank instead. I'm 54 and can confirm that the older you get the harder it is to stay fit enough to drink.
Good Luck and best wishes
For me it is ALL or nothing and I am not willing to risk it for a couple beers.
I also used to stay fit so I could drink.... then I stopped working out and just drank instead. I'm 54 and can confirm that the older you get the harder it is to stay fit enough to drink.
Good Luck and best wishes
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I would suggest reading the beginning chapters of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. You can find it online at aa.org. See if you can relate, I know I did and I can certainly relate to what you are saying.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Adrian! You've found a great place. I drank all my life and finally found the courage and hope I needed to stop.
Willpower will not keep an alcoholic from getting drunk. Trust me, no one tried harder than me! I wasted so much time insisting I could control the amounts. One drink always led to 10. Which led to 'hair of the dog' the next day for my hangover. My weekend drinking turned into daily drinking. Then all day. My life was destroyed because I didn't make the decision to just stop trying to manage it. I was so afraid to let go of it, thought my life would be so dull. Yet I was becoming a boring, sick person - never wanting to go anywhere unless liquor was involved - never remembering conversations or plans that I'd made. I was a slave to it in the end - and I treasure my new freedom.
Keep on talking to us, Adrian. You can have a better life, free from that addiction.
Willpower will not keep an alcoholic from getting drunk. Trust me, no one tried harder than me! I wasted so much time insisting I could control the amounts. One drink always led to 10. Which led to 'hair of the dog' the next day for my hangover. My weekend drinking turned into daily drinking. Then all day. My life was destroyed because I didn't make the decision to just stop trying to manage it. I was so afraid to let go of it, thought my life would be so dull. Yet I was becoming a boring, sick person - never wanting to go anywhere unless liquor was involved - never remembering conversations or plans that I'd made. I was a slave to it in the end - and I treasure my new freedom.
Keep on talking to us, Adrian. You can have a better life, free from that addiction.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Adrian.
Seeing as you are in England there are plenty of places that will help you try and moderate your drinking. Just search for local drug and alcohol agencies or phone drinkline and ask them. Personally I tried that and I couldn't do it, and I was really relieved when I went to AA and met people who had been through the same process I had and couldn't do it either For some people not drinking at all is the only sane option. I gave up drinking over 5 months ago and it has been the best decision I have ever made. It hasn't been easy but it then it's a big change from my previous lifestyle. SR has been a great support for me and I'm sure you'll get lots of help here too x
Seeing as you are in England there are plenty of places that will help you try and moderate your drinking. Just search for local drug and alcohol agencies or phone drinkline and ask them. Personally I tried that and I couldn't do it, and I was really relieved when I went to AA and met people who had been through the same process I had and couldn't do it either
For some people not drinking at all is the only sane option. I gave up drinking over 5 months ago and it has been the best decision I have ever made. It hasn't been easy but it then it's a big change from my previous lifestyle. SR has been a great support for me and I'm sure you'll get lots of help here too x
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Willpower works great, it really is all we need, and all we have, as long as we are talking about the commitment to never take another drink. We need the will to stop drinking, and the realization that we already have the power inside us. Do you have the willpower to never take another drink? I believe you do.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Adrian,
Would you consider your week end trip without the 6 bottles of good wine? Maybe just try it for this week end? I tried moderated drinking last summer and quit all alcohol this summer. Quitting is so much easier. Following Paul's thread was motivational for me to stop completely - please do read it. My husband and I both enjoy exercise and nutritional foods. We both feel better not drinking and sued the saved money for new running shoes and bike repairs BTW, I'll be 55 in a few weeks and my husband is 61.
Would you consider your week end trip without the 6 bottles of good wine? Maybe just try it for this week end? I tried moderated drinking last summer and quit all alcohol this summer. Quitting is so much easier. Following Paul's thread was motivational for me to stop completely - please do read it. My husband and I both enjoy exercise and nutritional foods. We both feel better not drinking and sued the saved money for new running shoes and bike repairs
BTW, I'll be 55 in a few weeks and my husband is 61.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 802
Hi and welcome Adrian,
I doubt nearly all here will tell you the same, its either full duck or no dinner with all us.
I tried many a time to cut down, never worked for me, always back to binges.
You mayb diff I hope you are, some can do it and I know a few how drank heavy and cut back, but as pondlady says above its easier for me just to take none at all.
Enjoy your trips
I doubt nearly all here will tell you the same, its either full duck or no dinner with all us.
I tried many a time to cut down, never worked for me, always back to binges.
You mayb diff I hope you are, some can do it and I know a few how drank heavy and cut back, but as pondlady says above its easier for me just to take none at all.
Enjoy your trips
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: England
Posts: 276
For me its not possible to take drugs in moderation so I have to obstain - its not down to will power as once I start I am unable to stop until I have none left.
With regards to Spain - it may be worth cancelling your trip as it will not help you stop drinking. Your health is more important than a holiday.
With regards to Spain - it may be worth cancelling your trip as it will not help you stop drinking. Your health is more important than a holiday.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Its the same ole rinse and repeat BS I went through time and time again.
It does not magically get better itself.
Moderating for me, painful death by a 1000 cuts..End up in a state of total obsession and angst.
There are people on here who have been sober for a lot longer than me , they can offer amazing insight and help.
For me, life is strange/raw but its getting better and better, sometimes I wake up thinking is this real am I really living a sober life. I really wish I had stopped many years ago, all my life from early teens to your age 47 has been tarred with alcoHELLL.
Hate using cliché type sayings etc, but I really feel like this is the greatest thing I have ever done
My brain feels like its starting to unravel and heal its self , going to take it a long time but who knows where this sobriety journey will take me !
I wish you all the best whatever You decide to do.
I think you should quit right this second .
It does not magically get better itself.
Moderating for me, painful death by a 1000 cuts..End up in a state of total obsession and angst.
There are people on here who have been sober for a lot longer than me , they can offer amazing insight and help.
For me, life is strange/raw but its getting better and better, sometimes I wake up thinking is this real am I really living a sober life. I really wish I had stopped many years ago, all my life from early teens to your age 47 has been tarred with alcoHELLL.
Hate using cliché type sayings etc, but I really feel like this is the greatest thing I have ever done
My brain feels like its starting to unravel and heal its self , going to take it a long time but who knows where this sobriety journey will take me !
I wish you all the best whatever You decide to do.
I think you should quit right this second .
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