Only the facts...
 

I entered my sobriety date of aug 10. I had five great days under my belt and my husband gave me an out, offered me some wine, so I took it. Two nights in a row, didn't get bombed, was pretty buzzed though, and hated it. Didn't do anything stupid, just the fact that I drank it makes me furious with myself. So, here is day 1 again. I will say, that those 2 days one thing that was different, I wasn't praying all day. I wasn't asking my higher power for guidance and protection. I see that is a huge part of my recovery. So today I have prayed a lot, asked for forgiveness and strength and know that i will to drink today! It took a lot for me to fess up to you all and to my bestie who has been going through the same issues. But gotta keep it real! Have a great Thursday night sr! I'll be back to do more reading later! Xoxo:c004:

Welcome back and dont be so hard on yourself. You specially dont need to ask for any forgiveness. What happened happened now learn from it and move forward. Dont stay staled or in the past.

SLIP sobriety loses it priority , this disease wants use to fail and die doing it. All it takes is that first sip.

Well done and thank you for coming and posting . It is hard admitting when we slip up.

Routing for you , you can be free. :)

Yeah, that's kinda my motto, don't look back, we aren't moving that way! Good luck to you on your day one again! Looking forward to a good nights sleep tonight and waking up fresh, even thou I didn't get bombed, I still felt kinda poopy this morning. Happy to know I won't feel that way tomorrow!

Have you told your husband that you are trying to get sober? Perhaps it would be a good idea to explain to him that offering you wine right now or ever is really not a great idea. Keeping your house booze free for a while would probably help you. It doesn't have to be forever but I am sure your husband would support you in this decision and keep alcohol away from you for the time being?

I'm glad you're looking forward. Wishing you all the best x

You got it. We will not forget the past, nor shut the door on it . We must always try to remember the bad. I know this alcoholic here, loves to only remember the good times will all those decades of torture.

Good call on getting some rest and start a new tomorrow.

Maybe start a new thread, I know I would like to read it. :grouphug:

I agree with Mrs. King - you’ve gotta let hubby in on your plans. You were doing so well, and you can get right back on track. Wishing you a good night’s rest and a bright new day tomorrow.

Thing is hubby knows this, I told him I am quitting, I'm tired of being filled with anxiety, self hatred, self doubt. I am tired of him being pissy with me when I act afool, he doesn't like me drunk, I do t remember me drunk, just pay for it the next day with more anxiety and hatred and embarrassment and then fuel the beast with yet another bottle of wine. He knows this is best for me, but the day after I told him I was done, he said here ya wanna a beer?? I was like uh no..... But on day 5 I was weak, he said you don't have to stop completely, just don't get wasted.... Yeah, we'll I don't ever plan on getting wasted and acting like a fool, it just happens. I go from from classy to trashy in about 2 hours or so!! I feel so good when I am sober, I feel like I can conquer the world. He just doesn't understand it, he would rather me drink and then he can be angry at my poor decisions. Blah blah blah..... This is about me this time. No one else!

Oh, I love that one... 'Isn't it just a matter of drinking less?'. Oh, it seems so logical now, why did I never consider that before! ;) It sounds like your hubby doesn't really get it... why not take him to an AA meeting or suggest he check out Al-anon. Obviously it is wise not to let your sobriety dependent on him 'getting it' but it would help if he wasn't offering you booze x

Forgive yourself. You are already forgiven if you don't pick up today. HP's are like that in my book. :)

Sorry Chardonnay. :frown:
Well, I still think you've got what it takes - spunk and desire.
Keep posting - we can do this!

I do think it's almost impossible for the normies to get it. I hope this is the last time you have to go through that, Chardonnay. You sound ready to heal and grow - we know you can do it.

Chardonnay, sounds like you know what your best course of action is: no drinking at all. Your husband may have some concern that if you are a non-drinker, that your shared lives, interests, patterns of activity might be at risk. The known is a comfort zone sometimes. It might take a few weeks or a month or two, but he will come to see in your behavior the improvements you will feel.

Chardonnay, good for you for seeing the dance you and your husband are doing now. You have stepped out of the dance by seeking sobriety and your husband is at a loss. He doesn't know how to deal with this new situation. I'm so glad that you know you are doing this for yourself. :)

Well, he is quick to say you need help, and quick to expect me to find support elsewhere, in fact right now he is mad because he has a friend and his new go stopping over to have some wine with us and I said I'm not drinking,,,, he asked why? Ugh..... Whatever he can be mad, but I'm sticking to my guns! This is so confusing! When I said I'm doin it for me, I absolutely mean it!

Stick with it Chardonnay; you can do this!

I know the struggle that you are going through. We are here for you. You can do this Chardonnay. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Proud of you, Chardonnay..... Stand firm! Have you really talked about this, like heart-to-heart? It might not be a bad idea to let your husband know how serious this is, or offer to print out some material from AA or stuff on alcoholism.

Keep up the good work!

Right on Chard,

Like Artsoul said get him to read a bit of material, and maybe you could get him to give Al-Alon a shot. :)

Keep it up. :)

It is good that you see the dance you and hubby are having. For us alcoholics it is the first one that gets us not the bottle! Don't be to hard on yourself we learn from our mistakes, that is how we grow. In the end we hurt when we mess up. Today and today only is where I can practice sobriety.

He doesn't understand and he doesn't have to we do, we have to understand when we put alcohol in our systems we become like HYDE, they may be ok with that person but we are not. Stay close to GOD and sober people and definetly SR!!! One breathe and one moment is all we have and being sober is a precious state for us alcoholics. God bless you and stay connected!!!