Moderation Sucks
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
Moderation Sucks
Getting close to a month this go around and have been feeling great. Strong, confident, healthy....heck, there is no way I want to drink.
However, I've been down this road before and realize that the day will come when the urge hits or when it sounds like a good idea to have a couple of drinks. Just a matter of time before I hear the voice saying " I've been sober a long time so surely I can drink in moderation now".
During this morning's walk I thought it may be good to consider how to prepare for this inevitable time. It dawned on me that moderation sucks.
I need to remember that:
1. History proves that while I might drink in moderation for a few weeks, it always eventually ends up in binge drinking on a regular bais.
2. Two beers really isn't all that "great". Why bother? When I drank it was to be removed from reality. Two beers won't do that. Just takes me back to day 1 (if I am lucky) and also may potentially still have health consequences depending upon what my past drinking has done. If I am honest, it probably isn't really just two beers that I am craving.
3. There is really no need to moderate. Why do I feel the need to have any alcohol at all in my body? It really is just a poison so why do I want two cans of it in me?
4. Even just bringing up the topic would be so dissapointing to my wife. She has been through enough. I am done dragging her and others down this sick road of mine......(for two beers? really?)
5. I do not want to throw away my hard work, my health, the respect and love of my wife, my example, my witness, my future just to have two beers.
Get my point? Moderation sucks and I need to remember that.
However, I've been down this road before and realize that the day will come when the urge hits or when it sounds like a good idea to have a couple of drinks. Just a matter of time before I hear the voice saying " I've been sober a long time so surely I can drink in moderation now".
During this morning's walk I thought it may be good to consider how to prepare for this inevitable time. It dawned on me that moderation sucks.
I need to remember that:
1. History proves that while I might drink in moderation for a few weeks, it always eventually ends up in binge drinking on a regular bais.
2. Two beers really isn't all that "great". Why bother? When I drank it was to be removed from reality. Two beers won't do that. Just takes me back to day 1 (if I am lucky) and also may potentially still have health consequences depending upon what my past drinking has done. If I am honest, it probably isn't really just two beers that I am craving.
3. There is really no need to moderate. Why do I feel the need to have any alcohol at all in my body? It really is just a poison so why do I want two cans of it in me?
4. Even just bringing up the topic would be so dissapointing to my wife. She has been through enough. I am done dragging her and others down this sick road of mine......(for two beers? really?)
5. I do not want to throw away my hard work, my health, the respect and love of my wife, my example, my witness, my future just to have two beers.
Get my point? Moderation sucks and I need to remember that.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 622
Happier,
you are so right - I have quit and then felt so good and strong and always feel like I can handle it - then after a few weeks of moderation I am back to where I am right now - feeling like crap and wasting my life away. Thank you for writing this -I think I may try yet again to be sober, and happy
you are so right - I have quit and then felt so good and strong and always feel like I can handle it - then after a few weeks of moderation I am back to where I am right now - feeling like crap and wasting my life away. Thank you for writing this -I think I may try yet again to be sober, and happy
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
Copperfield..Thanks for the kind words. Please do try again! So glad to hear it!
I think we can sometimes help each other just by the example of "getting up off the mat" and trying again. (although trying something different or extra may be in order). Most of us have to do that several times. Trying to stay on my feet this time as well but regardless, I do not ever want to give up!
I think we can sometimes help each other just by the example of "getting up off the mat" and trying again. (although trying something different or extra may be in order). Most of us have to do that several times. Trying to stay on my feet this time as well but regardless, I do not ever want to give up!
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I think "Moderation" is just a comfort word for those who aren't ready to stop drinknig yet. There is no moderation in alcoholics. If there were we probably wouldn't be where we are now. Once you just accept you aren't drinking again or "Today" it really is much easier.. there is not grey area anymore. Just black (drinking) and white (not drinking). I like it that way. I chose not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 802
Oh I hear you all.
on week 5 and my av starting up, weeks 5-9 always worst for me.
Have a few and have manners this time bla bla bla.
Like you happier, I'd start of easy enough then week binge in month or two.
Black and white nice concept Britt
on week 5 and my av starting up, weeks 5-9 always worst for me.
Have a few and have manners this time bla bla bla.
Like you happier, I'd start of easy enough then week binge in month or two.
Black and white nice concept Britt
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
all i know is that i gave up the fight with alcohol because alcohol always won. it beat me every time we fought so i've made the decision to not fight with it. if i make the choice to pick up the fight again, i may win a couple of rounds but alcohol will always come out ahead in the end. i've learned enough from my past to know that to be true.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 102
Oh I so agree! It DID take me several cycles of quit, (attempt to) moderate, mess up, quit, and on and on. BUT I know I needed those experiences to prove to myself that everything you said is absolutely true. Apparently I learn the hard way! It's such a relief to just accept what is. I never would have (and didn't believe it so much when I heard others say it!) a year or so ago but I get it know.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Moderation drinkers is not for everyone more so with alcoholic or problem/abuse drinkers. It comes down to the body that can't product endorphin correctly. Which is one of the main reason alcoholic can't drink in moderation. The more they drink the more endorphin the body will produce. You get that quick high and don't want to go down that high when drunk. That's why the more you drink the harder it is to stop.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
This is a perfect post for me, thanks. I have been doing it but have been dry for 2 days now. It really does suck. It does not do a damn thing for you and if it is only 2 is not even enjoyable. I don't get it, but I finally get it, if that makes sense. =)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 61
I agree 100%. Moderate drinkers are people who haven't come to terms with themselves yet. There are social drinkers and then there are the rest of us. I labeled myself a moderate drinker for quite a few years. I was only hurting myself.
In my case, when I said I'm a moderate drinker, I was thinking to myself: I drink for the deep buzz (drunk), if I am alone, it doesn't matter - I deserve it and need to unwind after a long day. I am not going to deny myself what feels good.
The reality is, I am a drunk. No more lying or beating around the bush. I'm an alcoholic.
Absolute sobriety is the way that I was meant to be! There will be no more protests, I am going to walk this path and see where it leads.
In my case, when I said I'm a moderate drinker, I was thinking to myself: I drink for the deep buzz (drunk), if I am alone, it doesn't matter - I deserve it and need to unwind after a long day. I am not going to deny myself what feels good.
The reality is, I am a drunk. No more lying or beating around the bush. I'm an alcoholic.
Absolute sobriety is the way that I was meant to be! There will be no more protests, I am going to walk this path and see where it leads.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Good stuff, Happier - thanks so much for a helpful, insightful post.
I was sober for 3 yrs. once. I went out with someone who didn't know I was an alcoholic & he ordered wine. I drank it. I drank 8 more that night. I was drunk on & off for the next 7 yrs. I finally got sober again when I joined SR. That shows how little control we have. Glad you are learning this now.
I was sober for 3 yrs. once. I went out with someone who didn't know I was an alcoholic & he ordered wine. I drank it. I drank 8 more that night. I was drunk on & off for the next 7 yrs. I finally got sober again when I joined SR. That shows how little control we have. Glad you are learning this now.
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