2granddaughters

Simple truth is that alcohol will continue to kick the crap out of you until you get to the point that all alcoholics get when they are trapped, done ... hit bottom.

You will get on your knees and say the alcoholic prayer "God help me !!".

All the best.

Bob R

walkingwithgod

This made me laugh.

walkingwithgod

I love the sober mornings, no regret or guilt or fear on what I said or did. I even went to an NFL game with a friend last week and did not drink as I was on day 2 being sober. Then the next day I thought i could handle a few drinks and had 10. I feel like my mind is lying to me.

soberjim

That is what I am talking about. Your AV wanted you to rationalize that a couple of drinks were no problem, then you had 10.

I cannot count how many times that happened to me over the past several years. You say to will have only 1 or 2, only to wake up full of guilt, hungover, swearing 'never again'. Only to do it several days later, let wondering 'what the heck is wrong with me'.

All I know is, it is not worth it.

I am not sure what will help you in terms of recovery. There are different vehicles to get to the same destination. SR is a good place to start.

Jim

walkingwithgod

Every day waking up with the same pain, exhaustion, guilt, regret and feeling like hell is just awful. But, by 3pm I am thinking again about the bottle.

soberjim

So let me ask a question. You have several days off with out your wife and daughter. How will you resist your AV and not drink? You know if you give in, when they return you will feel 10x worse.

DayTrader

Don't forget, Walking.....that alcoholism has little to do with where you live, what you do for a living, it doesn't really even have much to do with when and how much you DRANK.

Can you control it when you start?
Can you always keep yourself from stating?
When you're NOT drinking, does everything straighten out? Or, does it seem to you like it seems to me: slowly but surely, I'm consistently reminded of WHY I loved drinking. In other words.....life "not drinking" doesn't seem to work too well.

Those are basic, but that's what I've used as a measuring stick for alcoholism. It doesn't matter how low your bottom is or isn't. Doesn't matter what you've lost or the things you did when you were drinking.

walkingwithgod

I will be alone with my daughter and parents for a long weekend. My sister and her new husband will be there as well. My sister is a health nut and does not drink, my brother in law quit drinking years ago because of issues. My dad usually will have a drink if I do, but just 1 or 2 and I usually get loaded. I am responsible for my daughter and need to be in control. I guess just keeping busy so I don't drink. Stressed out thinking about it.

Mizzuno

Hey walkingwithgod. Its good to see you talking about this. Your going to do what you want to do until you can't do it any longer. We are here for you. This is the place where Alcohol has been the issue, is the issue, may be the issue.....
I have been through the same thing that you are going through. It was a cycle for me. SO, I get it.
What plan do you have? AA? AVRT? SMART?

mecanix

Maybe you could talk to him, if he's had problems he'd probably understand . Have you asked him about it privately ?

walkingwithgod

I have terrible anxiety/depress thus the alcohol. I do not see how I could go to AA without having a panic attack. Yes, I am in therapy. No idea what will work.

walkingwithgod

No I want to. I know that before he met my sister he was a musician in a band and did drink a lot. But, now he is the nicest person I know that is sober. He is kind and thoughtful and seems very happy as a clean living guy.

soberjim

Sorry walking I misunderstood your situation. You are correct. As you are responsible for your daughter (an incredibly good reason to deal with your situation) and you will need to be in control.

Enjoy the time with your daughter this week end. Trust me they grow up fast and you want to be there - sober - and the person you were meant to be.

Both Mizzuno and mecanix make excellent points.

Jim

mecanix

Well perhaps you could just mention that sometimes you think you might drink too much and ask him how he deals with it ?

sugarbear1

Alcohol (depressant) makes the anxiety and depression worse.

Find a program and work it....

walkingwithgod

I want to talk to my brother in law on why he quit and how, just not sure if that is okay?

Mizzuno

For me, and this is just me, I had to blow my whole situation out of the water. Meaning, I had to admit to myself and to my family and my friends that i have a problem with alcohol. I had to make sure that it was no longer a secret. I needed others to know that i can no longer walk down the path that was destroying me. When i got really honest with myself and with others my behaviors started to change. It was a slow change, but it was change. The wheels are turning for you. You can do this.

fgo

wwg... you are me and almost everyone on sr. I did the dance your doing for almost 20 years. If you keep drinking its going to get you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but it is going to get you. One thing at a time. You know what you need to do, and your av is laughing its ass off right now at you and your families expense. The slide got steeper everytime i picked up. I am only 25 days out, but i know if i pick up i will be one of those people you see on the street. Do you really think they said to themselves, Hey i want a career Begging on the streets to feed my addiction? Probably not, more likely they started out saying the same things your saying today. Only you can do this.. As amazing as it is the support on sr is just that support. Dont waste anymore time. Good luck to you

gincognito

No, you have terrible anxiety and depression issues BECAUSE of the alcohol. So what's the big deal if you go to a meeting and you do have a panic attack? It's not going to kill you while your current state of affiars might. You have the choice here to keep drinking or take action and you're paralyzed like I was that's why I feel strongly about this.

I'm sure I'll catch flack for this post but I think you need to make a decision to keep wallowing in your misery or accept your problem and ask for help. Sorry for being a jerk about it.

Hope4Life

Admitting to yourself and others that you have a problem is the 1st step toward sobriety. Your BIL sounds like an excellent source of information and inspiration. I know its hard to admit weakness to others but he understands what you are going through (and so do we....). Pull him aside this w/e.... maybe ask him to take a walk with you and when you are ready, look him right in the eye and let him know what you are going through. Since he is a survivor, he knows techniques and methods that can help you.

Sounds like you have a beautiful family to live for.... the time has come!

You are young with most of your life ahead of you and your wife and girls want and need you to be here for them, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Keep your chin up!