ljames103

I always a little bit scared to post, I don't know why, but I think I'm afraid I'm repeating myself and annoying people. That being said...

I finally have an appointment tomorrow to talk to my doctor. I'm getting more and more nervous. Please don't let me cancel!! I'm so scared that my irrational self will talk me out of going.

I'm unsure of how much sense I'm even making anymore.... I don't know...

whimper

Don't cancel.

I did and it made me even more scared. I know my liver is elevated, and I have been trying to stop drinking unsuccessfully. I've canceled 2 appointments but am going on Sept 4 no matter what. I know my tests will be bad, but maybe the dr will suggest meds, esp for my anxiety--or for alcohol. Anyway i just know that I have to go no matter what and i think you should too.

I think it might be easier to fight a beast out in the open than the shadows.

Be strong and wish me strength.

Needsassistance

Lj,
You'll be o glad you went, don't be afraid, the dr will help

Happier

Good for you. Sounds like a brave and good decision. Stick to it. It will be better to get it done and have it dealt with rather than cancelling and knowing that you will still have to deal with it at some point. Sooner is better and then you will be done and making progress.

blueshades

I hope you decide to go through with that doctor visit.

I know you've had a few attempts to quit drinking, but the important thing is that you are trying to do something about it. You know that you need the help, so don't wait.

Please do take care of yourself!

ZiggyB

I hope you go! Don't be afraid, your health is so important...

Live2Run25

Don't cancel. If something is wrong you need to know, and not be in denial!

Anna

You're making lots of sense, and you're doing the right thing by going to the dr.

FredG

We're all there with you - Hey here's a thought - take some screen shots of this page, print them off and take them with you - that way we really will be there with you to give you encouragement

ljames103

Thanks guys! Your kind words really do help tremendously! My appointment is in about two hours, and I didn't cancel, thank goodness, but I'm so nervous that my heart is pounding and my teeth are literally chattering. I feel quite silly for being so scared... I'll be glad when it's over.

sugarbear1

and?? How'd it go?

rosecity2012

i just scheduled my addiction assessment. hands were shaking just making the phone call, so i feel you. i'm hoping that the appointment went as well as it possibly could have for you!

ljames103

Well, it went better than expected. I had nightmares of the doctor laughing at me or looking at like I'm some kind of dirtball... obviously neither of those happened. She was very professional and genuinely caring, which put me at ease.

Right now, we're trying to figure out the next step here. Dr wants me to do inpatient detox, based on how much I've been drinking, but that's really not an option. I'm a stay at home mom of three, I honestly have no one to watch my kids during the day. My husband just started a new job after months of unemployment, so there's really no option of him taking any time off. And the biggest issue... I don't want anyone to know about this. I wish I didn't have any of these obstacles, because I want nothing more than to get that level of help.

I guess another option is some kind of outpatient setting, but that still has the same problems concerning childcare. Apparently there's a program in my area that might have an outpatient program in the evenings, which would be great, but I'm still waiting to hear back from them.

I'm a bit disappointed that I seem to have all these obstacles my way... I want nothing more than immediate, intensive help of some sort. But my concerns are valid, I think. If I literally have no child care and my husband can't afford to take off work, these are serious things.

So I guess I'm at a roadblock of sorts... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Zebra1275

I don't think you're at a roadblock, I just think you haven't considered all of your options.

You could get yourself a copy of the Big Book and start reading.

Then you could look up the AA meeting schedule in your area. Many meetings start at 7 p.m. and only last an hour. If your husband is home from work by then, he could watch the kids.

rosecity2012

did you discuss your concerns about your roadblocks with her? if you haven't, i hope you will. i'm finding myself at the same corner. if my addictions counselor recommends inpatient detox to me, i'll be leaving work for a week with about 3 days of PTO left. i won't be able to pay my bills when i come back if i leave. also, our team's down 50% of its people. it's summer, everyone's traveling. bad time for me to decide i have a problem and need to leave work to get better. i plan on discussing this with my counselor if he recommends this road of treatment.

at this point, my own idea of treatment is out of my hands. if i knew a better route, i woulda taken it by now and wouldn't be in this spot. those are my thoughts. i am HOPING HOPING HOPING that you find a way to get what you need!

sugarbear1

in-patient detox is usually 3 days. it's not rehab, it's detox.
then maybe AA and work those steps