walkingwithgod

For those of you with young kids or kids at all and a marriage, what is the best part of being sober? I have had sober days and not so much sober days in the last week or so. I love being with my wife and toddler daughter sober, but it is hard to get the cravings out of the brain. I am on my way to a better life I hope God Bless.

Weasel1966

Hey walking.... Hope?

That leaves a big gray area when we say that. Like the life we want is still out of arms reach.

Your post says it all. You do have the life you want.

Nothing past that needs to be thought out.

All my best to you!

too.tall

On my sober days I love to read to my son and help him with his math. I have done it when I have been drinking but not as effectively or patiently. This and other reasons have inspired me to work on getting sober.

justhadenough

since getting sober getting up in the morning with my toddler isn't difficult. I do more things with him and enjoy them,rather than just going through the motions.I am more patient and better tempered with him. Being sober makes me a better mum. I'm terribly ashamed of being a drunk,grumpy mum and just glad he won't be able to remember it. I didn't want him to grow up with a drunk,horrible,embarrassing mum who he was ashamed of.As much as I pretended he wouldn't have known/seen me drink as he got older I was just kidding myself.

FredG

As some undoubtedly know on the SR forums - My favorite saying is:
If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you most certainly will

mirage

Everything is easier with my kids now that I'm sober. My 13 year old had a friend over last night..he stayed till 10:00 pm!! Back when I was drinking, that would have frustrated me, cuz I couldn't drink until he left. Now, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if they have a dentist appt. at 9 am, I won't be hungover..it doesn't matter if they stay up late, I'm not waiting for cocktail hour..it doesn't matter if they want a friend to stay the night, I'm not drinking anyway. I can teach them about saying no to alcohol without being a complete hypocrite. It's almost easier to drink when they're toddlers, but they grow up and they get smart. I didn't want my kids to catch on that I couldn't wait for them to go to bed so I could tie one on. I'm so thankful I'm not doing that anymore. I can't tell you what a relief it is.

The cravings will go..it takes time. Give yourself time to break those habits and form new ones. It gets easier. You can do this and it's so worth it. Don't wait till your little one sees you drunk or worries about your health. Hang in there...you can do it!!

sugarbear1

You have time to really interact with your young, impressionable daughter now! That is priceless!!!!!

hrich1122

I have two toddlers. Since being sober I'm more patient with them. I'm sleeping alot better so I'm well rested and feel great waking up with them not hungover. I can take them to the park or let them play outside more often because I'm not feeling like crap or hitting the bottle. I even brought them to a movie at the park the other night. That wouldve never happened because I usually would've already had them in bed and probably would've already killed a few drinks. The joy on their faces is what helps me.

When I have cravings, I honestly step back and look at how innocent, loving, joyful and forgiving my children are and think about the time I couldve ENJOYED spending with them had I not been drinking or hungover. Suddenly the drinks don't mean as much to me.

Get in there.... TRY to do things with your daughter that you wouldnt normally do. Take it a day at a time and it WILL get easier!

yoli

I think a big part of you enjoying your family more is that you family enjoys you much more when you are sober too. On some level, family members know when you're not sober and it makes them feel bad. So it's a win-win situation.

Charon

When my Son was about 2 years old I had to go away for a couple of weeks for training. It was like a party every night and classes every day. When I got home and walked in the room where he was his eyes bugged out, he ran over to me, knocking the dog flat on her butt on his way, and gave me the biggest hug. Something I will never forget and forever treasure. I don't remember the previous two weeks.

This is only one of the many memories. There are a ton more. He's now accomplished far more than I - a very good career, bought a house at 25, is getting married this February, and still includes me (I helped him to gut and remodel his kitchen) and appreciates what I was able to teach him.

I have a ton of memories of things I did and taught my Daughter as well. Without these two people I would have had no reason to live. My life otherwise has been and is bleak. I don't depend on them to shore me up but I do love the memories. I'm grateful to have participated.

Is there any better reason to stay sober than participating in their lives and generating fond memories? Brings to mind a few words from Paul SImon "preserve your memories, they're all that's left you". You can't preserve memories drunk.

effortjoy

Not having to face the pain and confusion in their eyes when they knew something was off but could not quite articulate what it was
Being available for the important events in their lives and knowing I can deal with emergencies myself
Not having to hide my vodka on the top of my toddler's closet shelf
Not having to avoid my husband's eyes when he gets home

onlythetruth

I quit drinking when my children were 5 and 7 years old. I can remember very little about them when they were younger than that. But I remember everything that came after.

They are now 19 and 21 and I have a great relationship with both of them. That is the greatest gift of my sobriety.