XxGoldenxX

i have this little bottle of subs sitting next to me for security....yesterday it was a needle. i don't really know how this feels. i thought there would be more hope and maybe a smile with knowing im on start of a new life. i spent weeks with anxiety that it wouldn't work out but now that it has.....

im reading all these "just clean and i feel great" but all i can think of is that i have had this drug for 10 years anytime i needed it, for every fear or hurt and now i have this bottle of subs? maybe its the realization that its not the drug, its me. im taking away the drug but im still here.

its 5am US time and i can't get into the chat so if anyone is awake...please... reply

mecanix

Hey Golden ,
10am here in the uk .. early on in recovery i used to watch web cam feeds from around the world , just seeing people up and about driving in little cars made me feel less diss-asociated .
Also it's nice watching sunsets and sunrises around the world .

Congratulations on choosing a new life , it feels odd at first but it gets better in my experience ,

bestwishes, M

XxGoldenxX

ty, i hope it does. maybe today's sunrise will show a new light....since im obviously not sleeping lol.

mecanix

Yer,
my sleeping was all over the place , slept a lot when i first quit drinking .. nowdays i seem to have about 1 night a week when i wide awake all night then 6 nights catching up with myself ..
It's gets nice waking up sober BTW, time is a great healer .

I just accept my sleeping now and i use the time to get on with something useful, M

iWillBSobr

The sun should be about up out there in NYC. How's the sunrise?

XxGoldenxX

ah i missed it...not from sleep but getting caught up watching a documentary about an 8 year old anorexic???? yea idk....9 am and still not wanting to sleep....but laying down is the first step i suppose....

guess we can both shoot for tomorrow huh...(or later today)