NewHouse2012

Hi there. When people post on here that they want to quit drinking, many respond to that statement with asking if if they have a plan. I would like to come up with a plan but am unsure what direction to go in. Eg: 90/90 smart AVRT ect. I would like to do 90/90 but have no childcare. Can someone help with suggestions? This is getting to be too much. Again. I want off this roller coaster. I need a plan if I want to do this the right way this time.

Dee74

I think the best plan is the one you make yourself New House.

If AA and 90 in 90n appeals to you maybe you can look for meeting which welcome children, or maybe have childcare (I have no idea whats available myself but I'm sure lots of people have kids to consider?)

maybe you could look into online meetings too?

D

hypochondriac

I'm writing out my 'plan' right now It is homework for an addiction counsellor I am seeing. It helps to have someone to talk through it with. I'm also looking at this ITEP thing which has some worksheets which seem helpful: http://www.nta.nhs.uk/uploads/nta_it...users_rb34.pdf

Otherwise my plan consists of SR, AVRT and AA. I was completely confused about the conflicting advice in differing recovery methods and all the arguments they tend to spark. In the end I am literally just taking the bits that work for me. I couldn't do the 'one day at a time' thing because I knew it would leave the door open to drinking for me, so I went down the AVRT route and made a 'Big Plan'. But I hated all the anti AA stuff and as I was struggling at about 3 months (mainly because it seemed everyone around me was drinking and I was having lots of doubts) I decided to go to AA to be around other alcoholics. I will do the steps when I get over myself enough to ask for a sponsor.

And when I was struggling with my doubts about AA I contacted a local drug and alcohol agency and I found the help I have gotten so far there to be much more thorough and general at the same time, covering concerns I might have about my health/relationships/finance etc too.

I think I will constantly review my plan and will just keep adding things to it if I find myself struggling. I think it's just important to do something.

I also did things like telling my family. For me support and accountability are important along with just general self development, which often has little to do with my alcohol abuse and is just about finding coping strategies for life in general.

For me just putting the drink down was hard enough and I will do anything I can to stop myself from drinking again.

I hope you find the help you need Newhouse. I think there are a lot of options out there it's just a matter of picking something. Maybe write a list of available options and do a pros/cons thing and see which one ends up on top Good luck x

stugotz

Did childcare matter when you were drinking? The best plan would be to do something about it, not plan to. Just sayin...

SlimSlim

To me, having a plan means that there has been deliberate and careful thought and preparation put into one's path towards sobriety. Putting together a plan helps to reinforce one's commitment to stop drinking.

Some things that might be in a plan:

• Meeting with your doctor to discuss your drinking and detox.
• Using SR daily.
• Looking at programs/recovery methods and making a decision on what you think will work best for you.
• Reading and researching alcoholism.
• Building a support system by telling close friends or family of your plan.
• Finding a counselor.
• Writing a list of why you are quitting alcohol and what you want for your future.
• Thinking about cravings, triggers, temptations or whatever you want to call it and figuring out how you can handle them.
• What will you do instead of drinking? For many people, life was centered around drinking so there will be a lot of free time that needs to be filled. This for me was a pathetic excuse for not stopping..."I don't know what to do with myself if I don't drink"
• Diet, nutrition and exercise...how are you going to rebuild a healthy body?
• What are you going to drink instead of alcohol? I used this as an excuse to keep drinking, saying to myself that I didn't like soda, didn't want to drink too much coffee, etc., but all I was really doing was giving myself excuses not to stop drinking.
• Keeping a journal.

I'm sure that other people can add more to this list.

Again, a plan means that a lot of thought has gone into the commitment to stop drinking and that effort shows that you are not taking this lightly.

stugotz

Recovery is a program of action. I planned six ways to Sunday how I would get sober, but it all meant nothing unless I did something about it. Just sayin...

NewHouse2012

I understand that. But everytime "I do something about it" I end up relapsing so something is not working. I have come to realize I have to look at others as examples. The advice I see on here often is developing a plan. I need to develop a plan and stick to it.

Thank you very much hypo for the head start. That is a nice template for me to begin.

Mizzuno

The childcare thing is such a struggle. Ive dealt with it myself. I like what Dee said about online meetings. How about hanging out on here as part of the beginning plan. I know that you can do this! We are here for you.

serious

i would add to start finding new things that you can occupy your time with. staying busy and creating new hobbies, which leads to better lifestyle change, the one that doesn't have alcohol involved.

exercise is fantastic, if you can...
good way for me to replace the time i spent drinking/drunk/hungover is by enjoying sports.

LoftyIdeals

My plan, this time 'round, was to simply not drink, and to do whatever it took to make that happen. I had to put sobriety above everything else, except my relationship with God. So, for a while, my life, and those in it, had to take a back seat to me getting to a better place.

My suggestion is to look at your life honestly, objectively, and soberly, and write down what you see; the good and the bad. That may help with decisions about where you need to change; things you need to rid, and parts you need to build up. From there, your plan can naturally emerge.

Just my 2 cents. And don't forget that you have the best sounding board in the universe here at SR.

tootsl1

Hi I am new to all of this. three days sober and looking for ways to keep it that way. I like the idea of writing a plan and a list of pros and cons. I also feel keeping a journal will help me to stay focused. I am not the type to go to meetings and as yet am unable to speak to family and friends about my drinking. I have just told them I want to stop for a while. I spend a lot of time alone so no one knows the true extent of my drinking. You are the first real people I have owned up to it to.

LoftyIdeals

Welcome, tootsl1. You are in the right place. I recommend introducing yourself to the community by starting a thread in this forum, the Newcomers. You will find help and many virtual friends who have been where you are. You aren't alone.