jessieb

Hi everyone. I may have posted a while ago, but have not been on for a long time. I'm going through a difficult time. Am somewhat trying to quit drinking, but am not doing too good - not at all. Had an argument today with H. He seems to get extra argumentative when I've had alcohol - or is it me? He refuses to talk to me until "later", when I need to talk now. It makes me argue more with him, and I've told him that VERY many times. I want so much for him to just hug me and say it will be OK and back off of drinking issues - but he refuses to talk until "later" which makes me more upset. We recently had issues with his work - he thought he would lose his job - I was there for him - now I feel he is not there for me - now that all is OK. I'm very upset because we argued in front of the kids (12 & 15) so I feel like it is not fixable and now they know I have an alcohol issue. I feel that he has turned them against me - I don't know how to repair any of it. I love them so much, but feel it is too broken to stay with H. .... Sorry for long post... just looking for advice/admonition/support...... Don't know where to turn.... Thanks...

Dee74

Welcome back Jessie - sorry to see you're still struggling tho.

I moved your thread to Newcomers - Daily Support is for existing threads, and you'll get more feedback here.

I think support really makes a difference - especially if there's perhaps not much support at home.

Posting and reading here regularly can definitely help - it helps me sort a lot of things out

there's a lot of recovery programmes out there too for more face to face real life support, if you're interested?

D

sugarbear1

Can ya blame him for not wanting to talk with someone who's been drinking? He sees a different you than you do at that moment. Just giving you a perspective from someone standing outside the window (and I've been where you are and I've tried talking with those who were already drinking, it's really not fun....). Oh, and the kids who are 12 and 15, I guarantee they've known about mom's problem long before now, I know I knew at a very young age (and my dad never missed a day of work due to his drinking, drank only at night, and, well, I just knew, no one had to argue to let me know. Usually the one drinking is the last to know they have a problem, others know way before we come clean.). Sorry if this is harsh, sometimes we need to really know reality.

Welcome to SR!

There's a lot of support here. There's AA, AVRT, SMART, Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, LifeRing, and SOS to name a few programs you can start searching online. Something's gotta help you out!

Glad you are here! Stick around and take a read....

Anna

Hi Jessie,

I think it's really hard for us to understand how much impact we have on family members and how hard it is for family members to understand what we're going through. I'm sorry that your husband isn't offering you support right now. But, you know what you need to do for yourself and your family and you can show them with your actions that you are changing.

Hevyn

Hi Jessie. It's hard to figure out any solutions when we're numb & in a haze from drinking. I thought I was helping myself to feel better, but I was only making my problems multiply. Everything can get better. I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting.

CloudStrife

An aurument while drinking only makes sense to the person drinking...
Took me many years to understand that.
Why not just pause things and say "lets just talk about it tomorrow?"

artsoul

Welcome (back) Jessie -

I'm sorry things are difficult right now for you. I found that the more I drank, the harder my life seemed to get. Looking back, I can see a lot of it was due to the depression and anxiety created by alcohol.

I needed help to get sober - I tried for years to do it on my own and never got anywhere. In fact, it only got worse. I'm glad you posted - we're here for you!

katrinka

When I was drinking I would get annoyed at my husband for the littlest things, things that just don't bother me anymore. What changed? I don't drink anymore.