Give aa another try?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Give aa another try?
I have been sober from pain pills for a year and a half now. I got off of suboxone 72 days ago. I have been feeling really bad lately and my therapit is extremely passonate about me going to aa. I drank about six times last year while on suboxone with no problems. He says if i drink again i will be doing pain pills a week later. He says i need to go to aa/ na because all my friends use and the ones who dont moved away. He is right i need more social interaction and i do think the program could alleviate my depression and anxiety. I have a few problems with joining the fellowship. Here they are.
1. I dont want my whole life to become about recovery. I just want to deal with it and move on. I know i have this vulnerability my whole life, but i dont want to constantly bring attention to it.
2. I have drank with no problem my whole life. I think i could drink a beer here and there. I think if i get into the program i will label myself an alcoholic.
3. I still want to hang out with my friends and do what they do. Party go to bars. I dont want to hang out with the one that do hard drugs. Just normal drinkers. I dont want to drink with them constantly but occasionally would be nice. I am not yet married. I am 26 and think it will be hard finding a girl just in aa meetings.
That is mostly it. I had to get this off my chest. Going to a meeting tonight and wanted to get some of yall advice. Thanks for reading anyone.
1. I dont want my whole life to become about recovery. I just want to deal with it and move on. I know i have this vulnerability my whole life, but i dont want to constantly bring attention to it.
2. I have drank with no problem my whole life. I think i could drink a beer here and there. I think if i get into the program i will label myself an alcoholic.
3. I still want to hang out with my friends and do what they do. Party go to bars. I dont want to hang out with the one that do hard drugs. Just normal drinkers. I dont want to drink with them constantly but occasionally would be nice. I am not yet married. I am 26 and think it will be hard finding a girl just in aa meetings.
That is mostly it. I had to get this off my chest. Going to a meeting tonight and wanted to get some of yall advice. Thanks for reading anyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
If you're not an alcoholic I'm not sure why your and your therapists focus is on AA, Ttal.
Have you tried NA?
Does yr therapist think you have a drinking problem as well?
As for not wanting to give up your life, that may be a great deal of the reason why you're unhappy/discontent
I found it miserable to try and be clean and sober while still living my old life of bars and clubs.
The whole point of recovery is we change...our old life doesn't suit us anymore.
Have you any hobbies or interests - that may be a great way to meet new people. Volunteering is good too. Meeting for coffee or the movies is also good.
Not everything needs to revolve around bars clubs and parties.
Recovery's about being happy - if you're not happy or you feel it's a burden or a chore then you might be doing something wrong?
I think you need to decide what you want to do Ttal, rather than what your therapist thinks.
If you've got serious misgivings about AA - and they seem to come up in nearly all your posts - then I'm not sure that's going to be a great way forward for you...unless you really feel AA (or NA) is the answer for you and you're prepared to set your misgivings aside and walk in there with an open mind and clean slate.
If not, there are other recovery methods with face to face support like SMART or LifeRing or many others that I, or others, have mentioned before
D
Have you tried NA?
Does yr therapist think you have a drinking problem as well?
As for not wanting to give up your life, that may be a great deal of the reason why you're unhappy/discontent
I found it miserable to try and be clean and sober while still living my old life of bars and clubs.
The whole point of recovery is we change...our old life doesn't suit us anymore.
Have you any hobbies or interests - that may be a great way to meet new people. Volunteering is good too. Meeting for coffee or the movies is also good.
Not everything needs to revolve around bars clubs and parties.
Recovery's about being happy - if you're not happy or you feel it's a burden or a chore then you might be doing something wrong?
I think you need to decide what you want to do Ttal, rather than what your therapist thinks.
If you've got serious misgivings about AA - and they seem to come up in nearly all your posts - then I'm not sure that's going to be a great way forward for you...unless you really feel AA (or NA) is the answer for you and you're prepared to set your misgivings aside and walk in there with an open mind and clean slate.
If not, there are other recovery methods with face to face support like SMART or LifeRing or many others that I, or others, have mentioned before
D
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Alcoholism can show up in the use of other substances, it's about the effect, the numbness.
I don't think it would hurt. If your therapist believes that your drinking will lead to your popping pills, then don't you want to stay away from anything that would lead back to the pill use? Therefore, by having a desire not to drink again, you "qualify" for AA.
I drank, I used other substances. It took me 25 years to realize that one thing leads to another and how everything can get worse and worse over time. Doesn't matter which substance I did, I ended up using all of them over and over and over again. There was no moderation of anything. In a weak alcoholic moment I even smoked crack and lost everything I owned and every one I cared about within 2 years. Yes, it does get worse, our inhibitions and decision making are severely affected.
I'd listen to that intelligent therapist. My gut says that therapist may even be a member of some 12 step group.
AA or NA would help you out. The program is the 12 steps, the fellowship is the people and friendships; people often confuse the two. "I'm in the program," "No, you aren't in the steps, you are in the fellowship and the steps are part of your design for living."
Whatever you choose, now that you are pill free, I'd work my butt off to keep it that way, both pill use and alcoholism are progressive and basically want us dead. Try to get to a meeting with a really open mind, try to relate to others, try to with all of your ability.
Glad you are posting.
I don't think it would hurt. If your therapist believes that your drinking will lead to your popping pills, then don't you want to stay away from anything that would lead back to the pill use? Therefore, by having a desire not to drink again, you "qualify" for AA.
I drank, I used other substances. It took me 25 years to realize that one thing leads to another and how everything can get worse and worse over time. Doesn't matter which substance I did, I ended up using all of them over and over and over again. There was no moderation of anything. In a weak alcoholic moment I even smoked crack and lost everything I owned and every one I cared about within 2 years. Yes, it does get worse, our inhibitions and decision making are severely affected.
I'd listen to that intelligent therapist. My gut says that therapist may even be a member of some 12 step group.
AA or NA would help you out. The program is the 12 steps, the fellowship is the people and friendships; people often confuse the two. "I'm in the program," "No, you aren't in the steps, you are in the fellowship and the steps are part of your design for living."
Whatever you choose, now that you are pill free, I'd work my butt off to keep it that way, both pill use and alcoholism are progressive and basically want us dead. Try to get to a meeting with a really open mind, try to relate to others, try to with all of your ability.
Glad you are posting.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
when I drink, I find my interest in staying clean gets sketchy. I too could have one or two, but after awhile in recovery I realized that it's not all that, and that there IS a risk for ME.
There are other recovery programs and reading what you posted here, about not wanting to focus on addiction/recovery so much, as getting on with life, AVERT may be worth looking into.
Info AND support for AVRT is available on this board.
I started my recovery in NA, and am ever grateful for the introduction to the 12 steps and the support I found there. Then I moved to an area with no NA meetings, and began to find other means of support as well as other approaches to the 12 steps that work for me and do not focus solely on addiction.
I have found many friends who are not in NA, but I choose to NOT hang around parties where the focus is booze or drugs, and not to hang out in bars etc. That is what works for me.
If you've been with your therapist for awhile, and have been honest and trust their insight, consider what they say long and hard before rejecting it. Recovery does mean making changes in life and being open to new ideas about life. We find out we can have fun in new hangouts etc.
If just taking the drugs out of your life has fixed everything up for you, then that's probably all you need to do, but if you took drugs out and found you still needed "more" to make life manageable, then stick around here and read about the "more" that have been helpful to others, you may find something you resonate with.
There are other recovery programs and reading what you posted here, about not wanting to focus on addiction/recovery so much, as getting on with life, AVERT may be worth looking into.
Info AND support for AVRT is available on this board.
I started my recovery in NA, and am ever grateful for the introduction to the 12 steps and the support I found there. Then I moved to an area with no NA meetings, and began to find other means of support as well as other approaches to the 12 steps that work for me and do not focus solely on addiction.
I have found many friends who are not in NA, but I choose to NOT hang around parties where the focus is booze or drugs, and not to hang out in bars etc. That is what works for me.
If you've been with your therapist for awhile, and have been honest and trust their insight, consider what they say long and hard before rejecting it. Recovery does mean making changes in life and being open to new ideas about life. We find out we can have fun in new hangouts etc.
If just taking the drugs out of your life has fixed everything up for you, then that's probably all you need to do, but if you took drugs out and found you still needed "more" to make life manageable, then stick around here and read about the "more" that have been helpful to others, you may find something you resonate with.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welp, i would suggest getting the big book and reading it. there are some stories in after the 1st 164 pages. if you find yourself in there, you may be an alcoholic and AA may be for you.
i am an alcoholic/addict. my whole life is about recovery. if it wasnt, i would be dead.
i am an alcoholic/addict. my whole life is about recovery. if it wasnt, i would be dead.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Thanks everyone. I went to a meeting tonight. Heard some good stuff. I just have trouble accepting the fact that I am a drug addict. I have trouble seeing yself as different. I am starting to realize this difference is not really a bad thing. Every great thing I have done in my life was when i was sober. I dont know why i hang on to wanting to drink. I guess it is the want to fit in.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
Originally Posted by Ttal914 
I dont know why i hang on to wanting to drink. I guess it is the want to fit in.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Went to another meting this morning. Been feeling bad ever since. I just dont feel a part of anything. I believe i am different from my friends and dont want to be in that program. I just feel bad after going to meetings. I may try avrt. I dont really have a problem staying away from drugs its just i feel depressed and anxious and i struggle gting rid of it because all i have been told in rehab and herapy is I am not oing to be happy without aa. Bsorry for whining so much but i had to vent. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Originally Posted by Ttal914
Went to another meting this morning. Been feeling bad ever since. I just dont feel a part of anything. I believe i am different from my friends and dont want to be in that program. I just feel bad after going to meetings. I may try avrt. I dont really have a problem staying away from drugs its just i feel depressed and anxious and i struggle gting rid of it because all i have been told in rehab and herapy is I am not oing to be happy without aa. Bsorry for whining so much but i had to vent. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Do whatever you need to stay sober Ttal. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. I know part of my fear of AA was fear of actual recovery. I didn't want to stop drinking. By all means though, look into AVRT. You don't have to go to AA x
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Ttal914
I believe i am different from my friends and dont want to be in that program.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
That is what I am afraid of and i think is not fair. I have been friends with them since before we drank. I had a problem with pills not alcohol. They still drink occasionally. So i shouldnt hang out with them at social functions or elsewhere. I dont want to have to have only friends in aa. No offense.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Ttal914
That is what I am afraid of and i think is not fair. I have been friends with them since before we drank. I had a problem with pills not alcohol. They still drink occasionally. So i shouldnt hang out with them at social functions or elsewhere. I dont want to have to have only friends in aa. No offense.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Has your therapist categorically told you that you must stop seeing your friends and go to AA?
I don't think things are ever that black and white. You said in your OP that your friends use. Is that what your therapist is worried about? How would you feel being with your friends if they were doing drugs? x
I don't think things are ever that black and white. You said in your OP that your friends use. Is that what your therapist is worried about? How would you feel being with your friends if they were doing drugs? x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Ttal914
That is what I am afraid of and i think is not fair. I have been friends with them since before we drank. I had a problem with pills not alcohol. They still drink occasionally. So i shouldnt hang out with them at social functions or elsewhere. I dont want to have to have only friends in aa. No offense.
you say yer friends only drink occasionally, so, why not hang with em when alcohol isnt involved? if there is a chance that alcohol will be there, have an escape route.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
My friends that i use to use pain pills with are completely gone from my life and I dont want them back in my life. My oldest friends who I love dearly drink on the weekends and sometimes during the week. I am so against aa/na. I dont know exactly why. Maybe its my addiction telling me that because it knows if i go there and commit it will be hurt. I just have bad thoughts in my head alot I heArd it could still be my brain recovering from drug use. I hope so. I hope this is not permanent.
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
"I have been sober from pain pills for a year and a half now. I got off of suboxone 72 days ago."
I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to congratulate you on your recovery from pain pills. You are awesome!!!!!!!!!!
I have a few friends who can't seem to stop, and some are shooting them now. I have watched many a friend bite the dust on Oxy. It is heart breaking.
I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to congratulate you on your recovery from pain pills. You are awesome!!!!!!!!!!
I have a few friends who can't seem to stop, and some are shooting them now. I have watched many a friend bite the dust on Oxy. It is heart breaking.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
All i have been told in rehab and herapy is I am not going to be happy without AA.
Ttal, there are so many choices available for you. AA/NA is not the end of the road, and for many people, me for example, it wasn't even the beginning. Your sobriety is up to you, not your therapist, not some group of people.
If AA doesn't sit well with you, look around and inform yourself, there are lots of options for you. And I would still avoid the alcohol-many of us find that after a couple of drinks, our judgement gets a little fuzzy and we go back to making those bad decisions.
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