blueshades

You may be momentarily unsure of what do, but you know for sure what will happen!

This is definitely a sulky and sober day for me, yet I know that alcohol will only be a temporary fix for what is really making me sulk. Tomorrow it will be no better, and it will likely be worse.

Our overall and long-term happiness is more important than a temporary high. You should be completely clear about quitting with your wife, and she should be completely supportive of you.

Hang in there!

vegan

I remember what someone here typed once it was "if I could drink like a normal person, I'd do it all the time" another that sticks in my mind is "It's easy to put off getting sober...I did it for years, drink by drink" Congratulations on day 3!!

sharp75

i go to a recovery group and in this weeks meeting we were talkng about partners reactions to us not drinking and it shocked me to hear some people who were trying to stop where being encouraged to drink by their partners and the councellor told everyone that its because we become much stronger and confident without drink and it scares the partner into thinking you may realise you cant be with them whilst in recovery so their way to keep you is to have you carry on drinking. speak to her tell her you need to stop and it wont affect your relationship aslong as she supports you and doesnt encourage you to drink, she may just need reasurance that you arent going to get rid of her once you stop drinking. the group i go to there is a gentleman who is going through recovery and we had a day out and he brought his wife who doesnt drink and you could see how much they loved each other and how much she supported him through his recovery and it was so sweet to see

sharp75

also i go through the sulky sober moments which inturn results in my bf allowing me to get a drink. if my bf tells me i cant have a drink i fall out with him really badly and cause the worst arguments and can be so evil that he caves in and allows me to get drink just to stop me being a bitch, so in my opinon either your girlfriend is encouraging you to drink through fear of you leaving once you become sober or your a jekyll and hyde when sober and drunk that she cant put up with your tantrums. if im right in my 1st post then you need to speak to her yet if im right that you do become moody and nasty when you want a drink then you really need to stop as its not fair on your partner to be put under so much pressure. in all honesty if you are wanting to stop drinking then your partner should be supportive and not drink also as that is what my partner is doing. as for being a social drinker that will never happen as you could go 1 year without drink and think you could have 1 drink as youve managed a year but then it will soon creep back up on youwhere youll end up back here and back at square one.

katan

My husband said the same thing last night..that he misses having a drink with me. What he forgets is that he had one or maybe two drinks. I matched him drink for drink and then when he wasn't looking had two or three of four more. Then he'd complain that I had no tolerance to liquor.
We are going to a wedding tomorrow..he wants to have "an event" drink with..I can't do that - I simply can't stop at one drink... So I am the designated driver instead
The long and the short for me is I can't drink. He may miss the social drinking with me - but I don't miss the hangovers, guilt, the blackouts, and so on. Stick to you commitment to yourself!

EyesofBlue

I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement, WWG. I think I am pretty much where you are on my spouse kind of liking me to have a couple of drinks with him. He drinks everyday, only one or two beers, heck - maybe he's an alcoholic too. I really do understand and I hope that you will stay on track and alcohol free. We can find ways to not be so sulky - but I think we'll have to get regular support and look for ways to truly get and be better.
I'm rooting for you - had my last drink last night - so I'm a noob.
Blessings,
EoB

walkingwithgod

So today after having drinks with her Friday and Saturday she says that I need a break from booze.

Pondlady

Well, now it's settled, and you can work on your sobriety

hypochondriac

I'm confused...did you read the posts on this thread? Not one of them said that you should drink with your wife. Please do not blame her for your drinking. I know us alcoholics like to create situations where we are 'forced' into drinking but it simply never happens. It is our responsibility. I hope you find the help you need x

walkingwithgod

I screwed up trust me I know that.

iWillBSobr

Hi Walking,

Make sure she understands that it's not going to be a break, but a permanent lifestyle change.

I am on day one just like you and my drinking habits are similar to yours... about 30-40 drinks a week.

Unfortunately we aren't going to be able to go back to social drinking.

I wish you success and hope to hear good things from you.

hypochondriac

Sorry I didn't mean to come across as harsh... I was just checking you got that bit cos it sounded like you were still blaming your wife. Text can come across a bit vague. Have you had a good chat with her about it? Maybe get her to read this thread? x