427

So today is day #1, but having a little anxiety about going to clubs. I do Not want to give up my music or dancing. Any suggestions on surviving the scene w/o drinking?

Dee74

I stayed away from my old haunts for a while...it's part of those changes I talked about before.

I'm glad I did.


I know most of us want to get back to 'normal' asap...but, if we look at our old lives and how much they centered around booze etc... maybe we need a new normal?

I had to put daylight between the old me and the new me I was trying to be.

If you still want to go clubbing, do it a little ways down the track when you're absolutely rock solid in your recovery, in my opinion.

whats a few months in the big scheme of things 427?

D

DayTrader

For ME...... I could go into a bar and be ok. Heck, I could even go into "my" bar...the one I did most of my drinking at....and be ok. I didn't DO anything to make that happen...it's just the way it was.

On the other hand, I knew better then to be heading down to Detroit to hit some of the techno bars I used to hang at. When I went into my conscience, there was little question that hitting those places wasn't a wise decision to make at all!

I'm an alcoholic.....no question......but I'm not a real drug addict. At worst, I was a drub abuser......or a heavy-user......but I still had the power to choose to stop taking drugs and could stick to that choice. So, for me.........while I'm a real alkie but not a real drug addict......I knew better than to be hangin' out at places with lots of drugs....in an environment where they're cool or ok.

So........for a while........I just had to suck it up and try to live like a mature adult (not easy for an alkie like me, that's for sure). I had to give up what I wanted to do.....and instead do what I should do.....if I indeed wanted to make sobriety my top priority.

Pondlady

It was best for me to make some changes to my routine. I'm on vacation this week. The last two nights we dined out and I looked longingly at the wine my dinner companions ordered......and I'm at 7 weeks and was with family members who support my NOT drinking.

If you do go clubbing, I'd be very careful and have a plan to leave if you are tempted.

TorontoGuy28

No such activities for 90 days after getting sober..... Too many failures in those situations.

Now I can do anything sober !

427

Thanks everybody. I do know logically that it's a setup. Man, I really don't want to give up the music.... It's one of the few things that are a deep part of me that I love. Gonna have to figure a way, but waiting for some solid recovery time makes sense, too. Ugh. This is no fun! And it's only day #1, lol! Ok, can't be cocky. Taking all comments to heart.

freshstart57

I was a crazy man, taking my life in my hands, according to some, by doing the things I did early in my sobriety. I was very cautious about going into a bar, or even going alone into a shopping mall where I used to buy booze for at least a couple of weeks.

You need to have a solid plan in place, complete with visualizing how this is going to play out for you, and a plan B to bail out if you get panicky.

427

Okay. So here's the deal. I quit smoking cigarettes, just had my year anniversary. Hardest thing I've ever done, but I had the resolve (after trying EVERYTHING over the years) and did it. I feel pretty proud of that, and know that it's said to be harder than heroin to kick.

Now, for the plan. Yes, gonna "negotiate" w/ that AV (I just discovered what an AV is, thanks to y'all!). I have some Casa Noble left (Santana's awesome tequila, also not cheap) and this is my thinkin (I know you guys see this coming!) But this is what I'm thinking Right Now. I set a date to "officially" quit, finish the tequila in one last big bang, and stick to Not drinking Anything after that and going to meetings, getting on here, talking to my other friends in recovery, and getting honest w/ my doc. Have a feeling everyone will tell me how nutso I am, but again, that's what I'm thinkin Now.

Input (eek!)?

Dee74

I'm gonna feed your own words back atcha

These are your own words from a few hours ago

This is you..the real you ^

I think your latest plan is straight flat out 100% addiction and fear talking.

Negiotiating with your addiction is not part of AVRT as I know it - it's about not negotiating with your AV - you hold all the cards, & you call the tune, not it...ever.

Last hurrahs are pretty crazy...

it's like...there's something you know has caused you and other people pain, something you want to give up...so you do it again?

There's no logic in it.

I get it tho...I've thought that way....

Noone wants to give up stuff, very few of us come into this wanting to change, no one wants to be different...

It's tough.

But no one wants the consequences from the drinking either...and the consequences can and will get worse.

Last hurrahs just perpetuate the misery.
I'd really advise you think again.

You know your life as it is isn't working.
You know you have to change your life.

why not start now?

D

blueshades

I could not agree with this more. You need to have a plan of action that has no place for drinking. I am just two weeks into sobriety and I wouldn't go clubbing in my state. Personally, I wouldn't even consider going out on Day One. If you're determined to drink there's little any of us can say to dissuade you, but if you're committing to sobriety why set yourself up to fail?

DayTrader

Good that you recognize that's what you're thinking NOW. Hopefully your thinking improves before you move into the implementation part of that plan.

427

Wow. Think some part of me knew I needed to hear all that you guys have responded to.... And I truly appreciate the frankness. I Do recognize that every freakin time I thought I could "have a drag" of a cig, etc., it didn't stop there. I Need You Guys Big Time. This ain't gonna be easy....

And Dee, posting my previous comment helped A Lot! Geez! No, I don't want to feel guilty again, I don't want the hangover, et al. Ugh. Ok. Thank you!!

artsoul

Good job for telling on your AV! It can get real sneaky at times, but ANYTHING that tells us about the positives of drinking is part of the addiction. That bottle is just an expensive version of poison, nothing more (I used to imagine all those pretty bottles with a skull and cross bones on them - it helped!)

Hang in there - each craving we get through is a step closer to freedom.

Hope4Life

and not by drinking it! The 1st day is the hardest and you have already won that victory. Dont blow it because that tequila is expensive.....WHO CARES!

Treat today as your new beginning and do something for YOU.....

DUMP THAT POISON! And tell your AV to shut the @#*& up!

england

I have stopped clubbing as where I used to go in London about 95% of people are on drugs (ecstacy, speed, cocaine etc) and drunk so I would be uanble to enjoy myself as temptation is everywhere.

For me, clubbing = getting mashed and I would not enjoy it sober.

Its probably best if you avoid any venues that could have a negative influence on your recovery - dont take any chances.