Hello Everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 12
Hello Everyone!
I am new to these forums, but am looking for a helpful community to look to for advice and confort, etc...
I am an alcoholic, and have cut back on my drinking since last year. I had been drinking every night for years, and this year I drink about once a week.
Ive had a lot of tests done and my liver is functioning normal, but I think my anxiety was using alchohol as a crutch, and now when I drink, there is a chance that 2 days later I will go into a SEVERE panic/anxiety attack that will last 3-4 days. My doc prescribed me ativan to take as needed. I take Lexapro as well.
Today I felt an attack coming, lately its not the old signs of jitters or racing heart, but of brain fogginess, and being completely out of it, then I dont know where I am or what direction im going, or anything. I get a severe feeling I am dying and am going to lose my family. Well I felt that fogginess coming after the gym, while I was cooking. I poped the Ativan and continued to cook, and an hour later I felt fine.
Anyways I went on a tangent there. Last year I went to an A.A., and quit when I broke down crying at it. I still drink, but I drink occasionally to please my wife, and only at home. I excercise quite a bit, and my diet is perfect. But the drinking is the one vice I cannot shake. And when I do drink lately, I will wait till both my kids and my wife is asleep (around 11pm), then I will be drunk at 1:30 asleep.
So what do you think?
I am an alcoholic, and have cut back on my drinking since last year. I had been drinking every night for years, and this year I drink about once a week.
Ive had a lot of tests done and my liver is functioning normal, but I think my anxiety was using alchohol as a crutch, and now when I drink, there is a chance that 2 days later I will go into a SEVERE panic/anxiety attack that will last 3-4 days. My doc prescribed me ativan to take as needed. I take Lexapro as well.
Today I felt an attack coming, lately its not the old signs of jitters or racing heart, but of brain fogginess, and being completely out of it, then I dont know where I am or what direction im going, or anything. I get a severe feeling I am dying and am going to lose my family. Well I felt that fogginess coming after the gym, while I was cooking. I poped the Ativan and continued to cook, and an hour later I felt fine.
Anyways I went on a tangent there. Last year I went to an A.A., and quit when I broke down crying at it. I still drink, but I drink occasionally to please my wife, and only at home. I excercise quite a bit, and my diet is perfect. But the drinking is the one vice I cannot shake. And when I do drink lately, I will wait till both my kids and my wife is asleep (around 11pm), then I will be drunk at 1:30 asleep.
So what do you think?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR - you've found a great place here! So much support and understanding.
Why do you drink to please your wife? Is she not aware that you have a problem with alcohol and are wishing to stop? I know my husband HATED when I drank because he knew what was coming... how I would be for days after, etc. I used to feel at times like I HAD to drink because everyone else was and I didn't want to put people out by refusing to drink, but it turned out nobody actually really cared at all - it was all in my head.
Also - alcohol was the mother of all my anxiety, and I don't know whether this is a problem for you or not, but depression, too. I took alcohol out of the equation and both were immediately easier to cope with - I rarely feel either, now.
Are your plans to be sober entirely? You didn't actually say.
All the best to you, see you around the forums.
Why do you drink to please your wife? Is she not aware that you have a problem with alcohol and are wishing to stop? I know my husband HATED when I drank because he knew what was coming... how I would be for days after, etc. I used to feel at times like I HAD to drink because everyone else was and I didn't want to put people out by refusing to drink, but it turned out nobody actually really cared at all - it was all in my head.
Also - alcohol was the mother of all my anxiety, and I don't know whether this is a problem for you or not, but depression, too. I took alcohol out of the equation and both were immediately easier to cope with - I rarely feel either, now.
Are your plans to be sober entirely? You didn't actually say.
All the best to you, see you around the forums.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Cowboy78 
I am new to these forums, but am looking for a helpful community to look to for advice and confort, etc...
I am an alcoholic, and have cut back on my drinking since last year. I had been drinking every night for years, and this year I drink about once a week.
Ive had a lot of tests done and my liver is functioning normal, but I think my anxiety was using alchohol as a crutch, and now when I drink, there is a chance that 2 days later I will go into a SEVERE panic/anxiety attack that will last 3-4 days. My doc prescribed me ativan to take as needed. I take Lexapro as well.
Today I felt an attack coming, lately its not the old signs of jitters or racing heart, but of brain fogginess, and being completely out of it, then I dont know where I am or what direction im going, or anything. I get a severe feeling I am dying and am going to lose my family. Well I felt that fogginess coming after the gym, while I was cooking. I poped the Ativan and continued to cook, and an hour later I felt fine.
Anyways I went on a tangent there. Last year I went to an A.A., and quit when I broke down crying at it. I still drink, but I drink occasionally to please my wife, and only at home. I excercise quite a bit, and my diet is perfect. But the drinking is the one vice I cannot shake. And when I do drink lately, I will wait till both my kids and my wife is asleep (around 11pm), then I will be drunk at 1:30 asleep.
So what do you think?
I am an alcoholic, and have cut back on my drinking since last year. I had been drinking every night for years, and this year I drink about once a week.
Ive had a lot of tests done and my liver is functioning normal, but I think my anxiety was using alchohol as a crutch, and now when I drink, there is a chance that 2 days later I will go into a SEVERE panic/anxiety attack that will last 3-4 days. My doc prescribed me ativan to take as needed. I take Lexapro as well.
Today I felt an attack coming, lately its not the old signs of jitters or racing heart, but of brain fogginess, and being completely out of it, then I dont know where I am or what direction im going, or anything. I get a severe feeling I am dying and am going to lose my family. Well I felt that fogginess coming after the gym, while I was cooking. I poped the Ativan and continued to cook, and an hour later I felt fine.
Anyways I went on a tangent there. Last year I went to an A.A., and quit when I broke down crying at it. I still drink, but I drink occasionally to please my wife, and only at home. I excercise quite a bit, and my diet is perfect. But the drinking is the one vice I cannot shake. And when I do drink lately, I will wait till both my kids and my wife is asleep (around 11pm), then I will be drunk at 1:30 asleep.
So what do you think?
You quit just when the magic was starting to happen. I hope you go back and get involved... get a Home Group... get a sponsor.
Give it 90 days. If you aren't getting better you can pick your old life back up as you walk out the door.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 12
Torontoguy:
Well, my wife says Im and alcoholic, but she only drinks like once a month, if that sometimes. It isn't ruining my lifestyle atm. I get up to work on time, make it to the gym consistently, I even feel better the day after a night of drinking. I feel rested, happy, and cheerful.
But I have gotten in trouble because of drinking. A cop tried to get me on a dui one year even though I wasn't driving (it got thrown out). My wife and I fought when I was drinking every night (she didn't like it), but now that I have cut it back, we dont fight at all. My children have no clue about my drinking. My doctor says my test results are all perfect.
Do I want to quit? Hell no. It scares me. There are multiple reasons I cut back, but one of the major ones is so she wouldn't get on me to quit as much. And when I drink, I binge. Every time. Not to where Im black out drunk, but to the point Im on a 8 out of a 10-scale
MrsKing:
I meant to say I drink less to please my wife. She hated it when I was drinking every night, and I was exausted every day and not much help with the kids. Now that I only drink occasionally I have plenty of energy and she is happy.
I think I drink less to please her so she will get off my back about quiting. I dont want to lose my "prescious".
As far as anxiety and depression, I have always had it, just alcohol doesn't help it much, but we tend to self medicate with alcohol.
Edit, Id like to also say I get withdrawls from not drinking. A couple of days and I will get jitters and moody, 10 days (which tends to be my limit) and Im stuck in bed feeling horrible. The only culprit I can see is alcohol since its my only vice.
Well, my wife says Im and alcoholic, but she only drinks like once a month, if that sometimes. It isn't ruining my lifestyle atm. I get up to work on time, make it to the gym consistently, I even feel better the day after a night of drinking. I feel rested, happy, and cheerful.
But I have gotten in trouble because of drinking. A cop tried to get me on a dui one year even though I wasn't driving (it got thrown out). My wife and I fought when I was drinking every night (she didn't like it), but now that I have cut it back, we dont fight at all. My children have no clue about my drinking. My doctor says my test results are all perfect.
Do I want to quit? Hell no. It scares me. There are multiple reasons I cut back, but one of the major ones is so she wouldn't get on me to quit as much. And when I drink, I binge. Every time. Not to where Im black out drunk, but to the point Im on a 8 out of a 10-scale
MrsKing:
I meant to say I drink less to please my wife. She hated it when I was drinking every night, and I was exausted every day and not much help with the kids. Now that I only drink occasionally I have plenty of energy and she is happy.
I think I drink less to please her so she will get off my back about quiting. I dont want to lose my "prescious".
As far as anxiety and depression, I have always had it, just alcohol doesn't help it much, but we tend to self medicate with alcohol.
Edit, Id like to also say I get withdrawls from not drinking. A couple of days and I will get jitters and moody, 10 days (which tends to be my limit) and Im stuck in bed feeling horrible. The only culprit I can see is alcohol since its my only vice.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Glad you found us 
I recommend you get honest with your doctor about how you used to drink and now ....
Because he/she wouldnt of given you a benzo for anxiety nowing you addictive behavior. You dont want to have to fight that battle also.
Mine put me on Zoloft for my crazy anxiety, and I used it for quite awhile. Of it now, those feeling really faded once I surrendered to drinking, and AA really helped with how to deal with feelings.
Routing for you.
I recommend you get honest with your doctor about how you used to drink and now ....
Because he/she wouldnt of given you a benzo for anxiety nowing you addictive behavior. You dont want to have to fight that battle also.
Mine put me on Zoloft for my crazy anxiety, and I used it for quite awhile. Of it now, those feeling really faded once I surrendered to drinking, and AA really helped with how to deal with feelings.
Routing for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 12
I told her I drank every night a year ago, but have cut back this year. She the one who told me that my anxiety was probably using alcohol as a crutch, and since I have been removing it is why I have been suffering from severe panic attacks.
I only take it as needed, and TBH I dont even feel the effects of it. and I did need something for my anxiety.
I only take it as needed, and TBH I dont even feel the effects of it. and I did need something for my anxiety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Cowboy.
Don't let the anxiety be an excuse for drinking... I know of what I speak because I had to drink to get rid of the uncontrollable, out of nowhere panic attacks which were actually caused by long term alcohol abuse.
You say you have always had anxiety but how long have you been drinking for? I have been drinking since I was 12 so I'm not sure I really gave sobriety a good chance before moving on to a life controlled by alcohol.
I think it would be a worthwhile experiment to give up drinking entirely to see if your anxiety goes away... I have been sober for 5 months and have had maybe one or two panic attacks since I quit, and they were early on. It is okay to not want to quit and be terrified about it but it really is worth the effort just to get rid of that horrible anxiety.
Glad you're here x
Don't let the anxiety be an excuse for drinking... I know of what I speak because I had to drink to get rid of the uncontrollable, out of nowhere panic attacks which were actually caused by long term alcohol abuse.
You say you have always had anxiety but how long have you been drinking for? I have been drinking since I was 12 so I'm not sure I really gave sobriety a good chance before moving on to a life controlled by alcohol.
I think it would be a worthwhile experiment to give up drinking entirely to see if your anxiety goes away... I have been sober for 5 months and have had maybe one or two panic attacks since I quit, and they were early on. It is okay to not want to quit and be terrified about it but it really is worth the effort just to get rid of that horrible anxiety.
Glad you're here x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Hi Cowboy
I agree with Hypochondriac. Alcohol exacerbates anxiety/depression, I used alcohol as a crutch to such an extreme that my liver pickled, then I had to stop! I'm nearly a year sober and although I still suffer from anxiety (had it since I was in my 20's, I'm 41 now) it has got better over time and I am also in the right frame of mind to fix it rather than temporarily mask it. I'm also glad you're here. Stick around, this place is a life changer! x
I agree with Hypochondriac. Alcohol exacerbates anxiety/depression, I used alcohol as a crutch to such an extreme that my liver pickled, then I had to stop! I'm nearly a year sober and although I still suffer from anxiety (had it since I was in my 20's, I'm 41 now) it has got better over time and I am also in the right frame of mind to fix it rather than temporarily mask it. I'm also glad you're here. Stick around, this place is a life changer!
x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Welcome Cowboy
Like others have said, alcohol is the worst for anxiety and depression.
I'm a little confused you say you drink to please your wife but then you That's, and the fact you've been to AA and are scared of losing your family, suggests to me maybe it's a little deeper than just pleasing your wife?
If you are an alcoholic, then drinking will always cause you problems, and they will get progressively worse.
I know it's scary to think of a life with no drinking...but trust me it's not as scary as living a life where you have to drink every day.
It's scary and confronting...but you'll find a ton of support here Cowboy
D
Like others have said, alcohol is the worst for anxiety and depression.
I'm a little confused you say you drink to please your wife but then you
'will wait till both my kids and my wife is asleep (around 11pm), then I will be drunk at 1:30 asleep.
If you are an alcoholic, then drinking will always cause you problems, and they will get progressively worse.
I know it's scary to think of a life with no drinking...but trust me it's not as scary as living a life where you have to drink every day.
It's scary and confronting...but you'll find a ton of support here Cowboy
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Cowboy, from my personal experience, I would say your description of your anxiety scale going way up around Day 10 of sobriety is a part of the withdrawal process. That's about what happened to me. Blood pressure and heart rate up, zero energy. But it did improve a lot after 3 weeks and increasingly so after that. The body has to adjust to this big change. The body was doing lots of work to adjust to the alcohol assault and it has to adjust to not having it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 12
Thanks for the replies and all the helpful info. I just have no control over myself not drinking. I say I have cut back to once a week,but to be honest Im drinking tonight and its the third night in a row.
Not to mention I went off on some guy at the gym the other day, and I mean went off on him. Im currently in Aspire right now, and I guess it is some issues I need to bring up with my psych. Im in Aspire for Panic disorder atm.
Not to mention I went off on some guy at the gym the other day, and I mean went off on him. Im currently in Aspire right now, and I guess it is some issues I need to bring up with my psych. Im in Aspire for Panic disorder atm.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by Cowboy78
Thanks for the replies and all the helpful info. I just have no control over myself not drinking. I say I have cut back to once a week,but to be honest Im drinking tonight and its the third night in a row.
Not to mention I went off on some guy at the gym the other day, and I mean went off on him. Im currently in Aspire right now, and I guess it is some issues I need to bring up with my psych. Im in Aspire for Panic disorder atm.
Not to mention I went off on some guy at the gym the other day, and I mean went off on him. Im currently in Aspire right now, and I guess it is some issues I need to bring up with my psych. Im in Aspire for Panic disorder atm.
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