When getting loaded, drunk or high stops working but being sober is no fun either.
 

Sometimes I wish I could be that smiling guy in a TV commercial or magazine ad, enjoying there drug of choice in a relaxing setting. Everyone is smiling and laughing and oh so beautiful.

Oh wouldn't it be great if it were that easy, if the romanticized fantasy's were all true, and there were no consequences to using, drinking, puffing, snorting etc. If you didn't have to wake up next to some stranger, not knowing who drove, how you got where you were going, wondering where your money went, what promises you may have made at a bar to people you may or may not even know. Not to mention waking up with a headache, depressed and nauseous.

Heck the 30 minutes of fun I would have had at the party I wouldn't even remember the next day, was it worth it? The guilt of having to apologize again for saying and or doing G-d knows what to who knows who.

Sometimes I think that being sober is boring and I think to myself, hey I can have a drink its not a problem, just one or two. Just one or two lines, just one or two puffs, just one or two, its all good. Then I remember about those phony baloney advertisements, trying to trick me into thinking everyone at that party is oh so beautiful and having oh so much fun. It's bull Shi*!! It's a lie, My mind is trying to play a trick on me, no matter how low I might feel right now or how much I think having a drink will help, I just have to think about it all the way through. Is the 1 or 2 hours of "Fun" worth throwing away the Sobriety I worked so hard to achieve? If it was truly fun for the hours and days that followed, I imagine I would not ever have made it to these forums. :)

Sure in the "High School" days, it may have been fun for a spell. But in reality it was never as fun as I remember it to have been. There was constant depression and regret and anxiety. Trying to run away from myself never worked, no matter how hard I tried, I was always there back with myself.

It was only until I tried a new approach that anything changed for me.
Is sobriety always fun? No, but at least I don't have to wake up in a strange bed trying to piece together the pieces of a forgotten night. Or in a jail cell with a DUI or worse a murder charge, It could happen to any of us.

The choice is mine to protect my sobriety with all my heart and soul and try and help others in need OR decide to give in to the temptation of moderately using and enjoying the "good life" in the place that exists only in the fantasies of the mind and the phony baloney advertisements.

I drank and used to get F'ed up, not to have the one glass of Antioxidant wine for health reasons. Having just one glass or just one toke, is pointless. Why play russian roulette with my life to see if perhaps this time things can be different when I drink. One does not need to go far to see the devastation that drugs and alcohol will reek eventually on you. It might take a few weeks, Months or even years but eventually there is a bus bench waiting for each and every one of us, it's up to us if we need to end up using it.

I know I certainly don't want to ever go down that road and I will go to any lengths to maintain my freedom from drugs and alcohol.

Thanks for letting me share.
Best of luck to us all.

Hi there,
I think it's important to remember that the guy on TV is just that: a fantasy. They never show the reality of alcohol or drugs because it doesn't sell products; in my experience it is more than possible to have fun while sober (in fact I have more fun than I've ever had before). I think it's important that when you're in recovery you see sobriety as something inspirational rather than a sacrifice.

Thanks for that SeekSobriety x

Ring that freedom bell ,
Bestwishes, M

Very good stuff, Seek. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.

"The guilt of having to apologize again for saying and or doing G-d knows what to who knows who"

----I can definitely relate. That's the part even worse than hangover.

Hi seek,

Thank you for the well-written and inspiring post. Yeah, I had many mornings like the ones that you describe. I don't miss those at all! We are really lucky to still be alive when you think about it.

And a big welcome to SR!!!! This place has been invaluable to me - there's a lot of very wise people here. Best wishes to you.

great post. this is just what I needed as a reminder that sober life is so much better and not worth 1 (that turns into 10) drinks.

It's easy to be high or drunk. Drug addicts and alcoholics know exactly how they're going to feel from one minute to the next, because substances have the same effect every time. It never changes. It was easier to regulate my mood when I was using because I was good at it, and I knew what combinations would give me the desired effect.
In sobriety, that has been the hardest thing for me. I feel depressed and angry and anxious quite often. I try to tell myself that FEELINGS ARENT FACTS. They are just feelings. They go away and they change. Feeling good in sobriety for me is getting harder and harder and thats not how I pictured it being. I had so many problems when I was using that when I made the decision to get sober, I thought they would all go away.
No one told me they got worse. All the feelings I've been surpressing for years are coming to the surface and I don't know how to deal with them. But they are not permanent. This too shall pass.

Thanks gang for the kind words and encouragement.


Scarlet, I read your post and wanted to comment:

For me it was crucial to get into talk therapy and a form of Cognitive Behavioral therapy to deal with the underlying issues that I was attempting to mask with Drugs and alcohol. Anxiety and depression are/were serious issues for me, unfortunately the world does not yet see it that way. It is very hard and expensive to find and receive assistance with these issues.

I would highly recommend anyone suffering from depression, anxiety or anything of the sort to try calling a local state or accredited university with a Psychology department, ask to speak to the Dean of the program and and ask for resources for low or no cost therapy, specifically in dealing with addiction, depression or anxiety. There are options out there but they are hard to find sometimes.

Other things that helped me besides Talk therapy, CBT, 12 step meetings,
Brisk exercise, Staying hydrated and eating a balanced diet, Quitting smoking and cutting down caffeine intake (both substances cause/caused anxiety for me)
Volunteering (Helping others),
Visiting with the elderly, doing things for others helped/helps me stay out of my own head and made me feel better while helping another at the same time (Win, win situation in my opinion)

Thanks for letting me share,
have a wonderful day.

I lfound this and liked it this so here's a bump.

With a bit of sober time under my belt, I realize how skewed my thinking was. When sobriety wasn't all I hoped it would be a few weeks in, I thought it was a lie,a hoax, etc. Now I see that judging sobriety on the experience of a few days or weeks was ludicrous.

I spent all that time abusing substances and a whole lot of other things, gave THAT life, plenty of time to fester...but wasn't willing to give recovery a fair shake, was ready to throw it all in after the blink of an eye.

It was just one more example of magical thinking that ruled my life.

sobriety is better now that I've given it some time to "take" and allowed myself to get comfortable with it