quitforme79

I'm on day four and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm worried about a few members of my family that are now homeless due to their drinking & I'm used to drinking that away. At times I feel positive but I can't stop crying. I'm on lunch break now sitting in my car hysterical. I keep thinking of how I want a do over. I want to be 5 again, pure & unaddicted with my whole life ahead of me. I'm acting like a child or rather feel like I'm regressing to a little girl who just wants to be taken care of. Thanks for your patience & support...I know I've been posting a lot but it really helps. Any advice?? Is this normal?

bbthumper

In my experience this is completely normal. Its time to start feeling your feelings rather than drinking them away. Are you involved in any program of recovery? Millions of folks have recovered through AA. Have you given that any thought?

Anna

Yes, it's normal and it's part of life.

When we drink we don't feel the emotions and when we stop, there they are. What really helped me was to know that emotions are just emotions. They are not me. They don't control me. I can feel them and let them go.

SheWanders

Just last night I thought I wish I could go back 30 years and be a little girl again. A 'do over' is a common fantasy of mine. The worry, anxiety, what if my kids turn out this way? It terrifies the hell out of me. Sometimes I can't breathe and I can't stop crying. Sobbing until I gag. You're not alone and since we both experience it I am guessing it's normal. I just hope, pray, beg and plead that it gets better. I don't have many days under my belt but I am right here with you if that's helps at all.

(((hugs)))

2granddaughters

Are you attending AA meetings? You would find lots of folks there who could help you.

All the best.

Bob R

quitforme79

Thanks for your fast responses everyone....@ Anna, you're right ..it really is just life & I have not been used to dealing w it w a clear head. @shewanders, yup...my crying can turn into panic attacks or vice versa. Guess I'm having a pity party today & I need to get over that. I fired up my genes knowingly & brought myself into this situation...I will have to keep working on staying in the present, right now it just feels overwhelming. And yes, I've been going to meetings, found one I really liked last night so I'm going to keep going there. There's a beginner step meeting tomorrow that I'm really looking forward to. Thursdays are hard because I'm off Friday's & usually hit the bottle after work. So glad I have a plan in place to prevent that.

artsoul

Remember to be compassionate with yourself. We're so used to numbing our feelings and pushing them away, that it's going to take practice to learn how to work with them again.

It really is like the little child in us who's scared and insecure. Instead of telling it to shut up and beating it over the head, we can learn to listen to it and comfort it. I don't know if that helps..... I can't quite explain it - I just know it helps me when I take a caring role towards myself.

Thanks for the post - learning how to deal with emotions is such a huge part of recovery, at least for me. Sending hugs..... and some positive vibes.....

quitforme79

Thanks artsoul, that is really good advice. Guess I should hug the child inside & tell her its going to be ok. I'm really struggling today & Idk what I'd do without the support here at sr. (Hugs)

Dee74

Give yourself time to adjust, Quit...feeling will not always be this imnmense...
remember you're not alone...you can do this

D

Notmyrealname

I felt like crap the first 7-8 days, cried everyday. It's a brain chemistry thing. You should be feeling better in a few days. Vigorous exercise helps, so does sleep (if you can manage). Oh, and junk food.

sissy07

quitforme,

I think it is logical to feel this way. I expected to and I did when I quit drinking. At times I still do and I am almost a year sober!

I think it is logical because if you are like me I messed up a lot of things - missed many opportunities, made an arse out of myself many times, ruined relationships and lost myself. Where I am now is not how I expected things to go. I just know that it will only get worse if I drink. At least now you and I are on a level playing field, and we are living in the solution instead of the problem. Yeah, I still have problems related to drinking (financial, things not getting done) but at least I don't think I am going to die tomorrow, or worry about getting a d.u.i., or have no self respect. The self respect is coming back, and things are getting better.

Give it some time, and be easy on yourself. You are doing just what you should be right now - staying sober. Best wishes.

MetalChick

*hugs

Fallow

Oh yeah I feel this way all the time. If I had a penny for every time I wish for a do over I coulda bought a time machine by now.

I always dream of what life should have been like if I just quit drinking the first time I got sick or made a fool of myself.

But instead Im quitting after the last time I got sick and made a fool of myself.

Sorry u are feeling down..I totally relate.

sugarbear1

Hugs & love to you

gravity

AA will help you make peace with the past. I remember an old-timer telling me: "When you invent a time machine, let me know." lol Get a sponsor, work the steps, and be patient. It's really not as bad as it seems.

instant

The first week was rough. The following weeks were not easy. The longer I don't drink the better it gets. I am still improving and I am nearly 15 months. Getting stable emotions took a good few months, but I could function better than when I was drinking within a very short time.

blueshades

quitforme, today is Day 15 for me and I, like you, struggle during that down time right after work. Workplace stress continues to be an issue for me and I've longed used alcohol to "take the edge off" after work.

I've been working on making sure that I have something productive to do right after work: an errand to run, a date with someone, an exercise session, etc. And on exercise, it's enormously helpful in regulating my emotions.

Hang in there, friend. The first days aren't the easiest, but I can tell you that it gets better before too long. You can do this!

neferkamichael

Quitforme, 4 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. You're just a 4 day old infant in your sober life. So think as if you are, pure & unaddicted with my whole life ahead of me.

quitforme79

I can't thank you all enough for your support. I do wish I had a time machine & I keep thinking that I should've quit after the first bad experience but all I can do now is move forward & realize I never have to embarrass myself or hurt someone else w my actions or words. I am projecting in the near & far future also: can't hang w the same people, who will want to date an alcoholic, will people look at me like a ticking time bomb even though I'm sober...the list goes on & on. Going to a beginner step meeting after work & really looking forward to it. I know it will get better....just really going thru the motions for now I guess.

gingerhero

I think everyone wishes they could start over from time to time, it's really normal. Everyone makes mistakes and lives in a way they regret, but the path you've been on is the path that got you here, and you're in a good place now because you want to do something about it. You can't do anything about the past but you can change the future. Be kind to yourself - life can be tough and it's OK to feel emotional about it all. Good luck.