Beachkid

Hey everyone. Congratulations to everyone here who has celebrated even the shortest period of sobriety recently. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same. I am addicted to alcohol and Xanax. I have been prescribed Xanax since I was 17, and I find myself running short every month before my refill is due. I have been drinking regularly since I was 18. I can no longer see how to make it through a day stone cold sober. I cant afford rehab since I'm just a student. I have been diagnosed with Depressive Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Severe Anxiety Disorder, and have taken prescription stimulants for a few years for mild ADD. Many of my problems are deeply rooted in my self image. I was bulimic off and on between the ages of 17 and 19 and have never told a soul. Advice, prayers, personal stories would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to fade away as some sad pathetic story. I guess step 1 is admitting I need help, as much as I hate to admit it.

Lovities

If you dont hAve health insurance look into medicaid or whatever your state has for ppl w no or low incomes. It got to the point w my AH that when our ins didnt pay for rehab his family came together to get the money it took to pay for it ($378 a day). Try talking to your loved ones and youd be surprised at the support, both financial and emotional, that you'll get. Start out by goi g to an NA or AA meeting. That is free. Talk to your doctor as well. If you do have health ins they may pay for rehab. Good luck to you.

artsoul

Welcome Beachkid!

I self-medicated for depression and anxiety, too, not knowing that the more I drank, the worse it would get. None of us like to admit we have an addiction, but that's how we start getting better, so it's really a good thing!

We know what it's like to be caught up in a vicious cycle and we're here to help.... (I'd recommend getting honest with your doctor too, since things get a little more complicated when you're taking meds while you're drinking. Are you in college? A lot of universities have student counseling and psychiatric services for little or no cost)..... Things really will get better!

Chrisy

Welcome to S/R, you are in the right place.

You are taking the right step in admitting you need help. I would encourage you to see if you can get state insurance to help with the your treatment. AA and NA are free and are a good resource. Talk to your doctor as they can help you with a treatment plan.

Good luck.

Love
Chrisy

Dee74

Hi beachkid
Welcome to SR

if you're a student do they have any support, counselling healthcare or any other useful resources at your school or campus?

D

Beachkid

Wow first I just want to thank u all for your support. It's nice to not feel judged. I'm not proud of my actions. To be honest, I don't anticipate maintaining a sober lifestyle. Maybe I'm not ready; Maybe I just don't want to. It is very difficult as my family and friends all drink. I would say that benzos are my real problem. But I think my addictive personality manifests itself in whatever I can get. I'm seriously considering going to an AA meeting when I go back to school. The only thig that worries me is that many people from my college go after being court mandated to do so after underage alcohol tickets. I know it's supposed to be anonymous but I have trouble trusting people with secrets. What was everyone else's experience like attending AA and/or NA meetings?

Thanks new friends!

MightyMung

I don't know how old you are, but i'm in a similar situation to you at age 18. I am currently tapering from benzodiazepines and tramadol, but have successfully quit alcohol for quite some time now.

If you want to chat about anything, or need any advice, please don't hesitate to contact me. It does get better when you quit, but with benzos such as Xanax, going cold turkey can be dangerous rather than just unpleasant.

I'd advise you to see a doctor and get some bloodwork done so you can see the state of your insides. I said it recently to another member, but there's nothing more sobering than seeing the damage you're doing to yourself on paper.

I feel much more free without the alcohol, but I transferred my addiction to narcotics, so I still have a long way to go before I am recovered. Some basic tips I can give you that should really help if you follow them are:

- Keep busy - fill your schedule so you don't have time to drink. This gives you an opportunity to try new things. Have you ever wanted to learn how to cook, or dance, or play the bassoon? Whatever - it doesn't matter what you do as long as you keep busy and keep your mind occupied. If you like reading, read a load of books. If you're into sports, double your sporting commitments. If you play an instrument, search for a local group to join to share your interest with. If you have no hobbies, force yourself to find one. I decided to travel, and yes it has got me into some trouble with drugs, but it helped me to find myself and quit the booze. I feel refreshed and ready to get on with my life after having a long time to reflect and decide what I want from this life.

- Make a plan, and stick to it.

- Seek help from the appropriate avenues, you don't necessarily need rehab but a doctor should be able to help you safely withdraw from the Xanax.

- Join a recovery group and follow a program. I wad dubious about this approach at first, but reading into AVRT really helped me recognise how my mind plays tricks on me to get me to drink. Now that I understand this mental trickery, I can identify it and push it aside with ease. It honestly does help to follow a program.

If you want to talk further, i'll be monitoring this thread. You're one of the lucky ones - you've realised you have a problem and want to fix it. Thousands never get that far, and die before they can make appropriate changes in their lives. Keep in touch, I want to help and support you.

Hugs,
Jake from South England (but currently in Hanoi, Vietnam)

wow04

Welcome to SR!! The first thing you need to decide is if you want to quit. AA and NA really helped me. My experience with AA is that it saved my life, but I had to do what the Big Book told me. I wish you the best in your journey!!