some bad news today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 120
some bad news today
hi all...
guess i'm posting just to vent tonight.
today i found out my sweet greyhound has bone cancer. she's potentially got a few months left. i am so heartbroken right now. in january i lost my other greyhound to cancer, and this just feels so unfair and like it's just too much to deal with.
however, i do know it's not my place to determine fair/unfair, and life is life, it's not a reality show starring me, it isn't personal...
it just hurts.
i'm coming up on three months sober, and life is really so much better for me. i'm very involved with AA, which works for me and is keeping me sober.
i'm scared to death of the day when i will have to actually make the decision to put her down. this will be my first major loss in sobriety, and i don't know what to expect,
i'll try to just stay in this moment, and try to stop my brain from thinking so far out.
i know i can and will get through all of this- and anything else- sober.
i'm just scared and hurt and anxious.
i feel better typing this out...thanks all.
hil
guess i'm posting just to vent tonight.
today i found out my sweet greyhound has bone cancer. she's potentially got a few months left. i am so heartbroken right now. in january i lost my other greyhound to cancer, and this just feels so unfair and like it's just too much to deal with.
however, i do know it's not my place to determine fair/unfair, and life is life, it's not a reality show starring me, it isn't personal...
it just hurts.
i'm coming up on three months sober, and life is really so much better for me. i'm very involved with AA, which works for me and is keeping me sober.
i'm scared to death of the day when i will have to actually make the decision to put her down. this will be my first major loss in sobriety, and i don't know what to expect,
i'll try to just stay in this moment, and try to stop my brain from thinking so far out.
i know i can and will get through all of this- and anything else- sober.
i'm just scared and hurt and anxious.
i feel better typing this out...thanks all.
hil
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Your sponsor and AA friends will be very helpful in this matter if you let them.
I'm 68 yrs old and have lost many furry friends over the years. Pets and kids are on loan from God.
All the best.
Bob R
I'm 68 yrs old and have lost many furry friends over the years. Pets and kids are on loan from God.
All the best.
Bob R
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm really sorry to hear that Charger.
My thoughts go out to you - and your dog.
One of the hardest parts of being a pet owner is when stuff like this happens..it's not easy but its part of loving & caring them.
I have faith you'll not only do the right thing by your dog but by yourself too
D
My thoughts go out to you - and your dog.
One of the hardest parts of being a pet owner is when stuff like this happens..it's not easy but its part of loving & caring them.
I have faith you'll not only do the right thing by your dog but by yourself too
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Oh, changer - that is heartbreaking. I have dogs, and I always think about how I'll handle it when the time comes. I know I'll be a wreck. Drinking only seems like an answer, a temporary comfort. It just makes us weaker and more miserable in the end.
I think it's so helpful to talk about it. I once felt just the opposite - went into my little cocoon and drank, never reached out. Many here have pets and they mean so much to us because often, they've been there for us during our worst days. They always love us unconditionally - not like some of the people in our lives. I'm glad you're sharing this sad news - I hope it helps to know others are feeling your pain too.
I think it's so helpful to talk about it. I once felt just the opposite - went into my little cocoon and drank, never reached out. Many here have pets and they mean so much to us because often, they've been there for us during our worst days. They always love us unconditionally - not like some of the people in our lives. I'm glad you're sharing this sad news - I hope it helps to know others are feeling your pain too.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Your sponsor and AA friends will be very helpful in this matter if you let them.
I hate putting animals down or just losing them to death. I have had many all my life. I feel for you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I have dogs too and lost two dogs last year.
But I keep on getting them as I can't imagine living without dogs, also it's a tribute to my lost dogs' good lives that I offer the same good life to another homeless dog.
I can feel your pain. Enjoy your beloved dog each day. :ghug3
But I keep on getting them as I can't imagine living without dogs, also it's a tribute to my lost dogs' good lives that I offer the same good life to another homeless dog.I can feel your pain.
Enjoy your beloved dog each day. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Changer,
I currently have 7 ( yes 7, folks!) dogs. We lost our biggest newfoundland in April and it was heartbreaking. For me, the anticipation of losing them is terribly sad. Spend as much time together as you can. Think about what a gift you given each other. Hugs.
I currently have 7 ( yes 7, folks!) dogs. We lost our biggest newfoundland in April and it was heartbreaking. For me, the anticipation of losing them is terribly sad. Spend as much time together as you can. Think about what a gift you given each other. Hugs.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
I am so very sorry that your beloved pet is very sick. I know our pets mean so much to us, and losing them is such a loss. But, you can get through this, and be present for the next few months for your pet and make the choice to end his life when the time is right.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I am very sorry to hear that. Don't give up—on yourself or your dog. When mine was diagnosed with bone cancer, they gave him five or six weeks. He lived another 18 months—good months, too. But you know what I'm most grateful for, even more than the extra time? I'm glad it was sober time. I felt like I owed him that. And when the time finally came to say goodbye, I knew I also owed him better than to let my addiction seize upon my grief as an excuse to drink.
I am very sorry. There are not many friends better than a good dog.
I am very sorry. There are not many friends better than a good dog.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
I send positive energy to you and your dog. I am so very sorry to hear this....heartbreaking.
I got sober almost a year ago as a tribute to my dog that passed away 7/19/11. I hate that I did not get sober before then, but most of our time together I was sober (I relapsed after a number of years). Three weeks after she passed away - 8/10/11 is my sober date. And every time I felt the urge to drink I woudln't in memory of my beloved dog that loved me when I felt that no one else did. She actually kept me from killing myself....I didn't want to leave her. SO what I am getting at is - use your sobriety to honor your dog. That sweet little dog is still keeping me sober. Take care.(Man, I am crying my eyes out!)
I got sober almost a year ago as a tribute to my dog that passed away 7/19/11. I hate that I did not get sober before then, but most of our time together I was sober (I relapsed after a number of years). Three weeks after she passed away - 8/10/11 is my sober date. And every time I felt the urge to drink I woudln't in memory of my beloved dog that loved me when I felt that no one else did. She actually kept me from killing myself....I didn't want to leave her. SO what I am getting at is - use your sobriety to honor your dog. That sweet little dog is still keeping me sober. Take care.(Man, I am crying my eyes out!)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
i am very sorry to hear this, but am also greatful yer dog has someone as caring as you with her. shes a very blessed dog.
i would highly suggest to not have any expectations and make the best of the time you have with her. and please share them times with us.
i would highly suggest to not have any expectations and make the best of the time you have with her. and please share them times with us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
Hi Changer I am so sorry. God, that is hard to deal with. I am really happy that you are sober for your greyhound though. You will be so much more present in every way with her so you can enjoy your time together. You are more capable of making good decisions too, I know. She is fortunate to have you! And you never know what will happen. My heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry. God, that is hard to deal with. I am really happy that you are sober for your greyhound though. You will be so much more present in every way with her so you can enjoy your time together. You are more capable of making good decisions too, I know. She is fortunate to have you! And you never know what will happen. My heart goes out to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 51
I had all 4 of my childhood cats pass in the last 4 years, 3 in the past year. It sucks but all you can do is give them a good life. At the end of the day the happiness that the pets provide you with in life is worth the pain of losing them.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Changer, so sorry to hear of this awful news. Pets bring so much love, and losing them brings so much heartache. We have a lot of pet lovers here that understand the pain you're feeling. Have wonderful moments with her and take lots of pictures and videos-they will comfort you in the future. It's not fair!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: “It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
Posts: 107
Whenever I hear of someone close to losing a pet, it puts a dagger in my heart. As my mom told me whenever I got a new dog, "You just got yourself another heartbreak". Sadly, it's true, as we know already, under normal circumstances, we will outlive them. I try to comfort myself in knowing I gave them a good life, and they were never in need of anything I couldn't provide...food, water, medical care...but mostly-love and companionship. You might have seen this before, but it's a favorite of mine, and it might bring you some comfort:
A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
--Beth Norman Harris
A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
--Beth Norman Harris
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: nh
Posts: 90
I'm so sorry. I've lost several dogs to cancer. My boys have such a big spot in my heart.
When I lost my last best bud almost 3 years ago (has it been that long?)-despite still being a drinker-I managed to not drink with little effort. I knew how quickly things could change and go downhill for him (I'd already lost 2 to cancer). I never wanted to be in a position I couldn't help him because I couldn't drive, I couldnt' wake up, I couldn't think clearly. It would absolutely kill me if I ever thought he suffered because I drank too much. And I knew from prior experience-although the alcohol may "dull" the pain-it really sucks to be grieving and feeling like crap physically. And the alcohol didn't make it feel better, it just delayed some grief and made me feel guilty. And I wanted to enjoy and remember all our days together. I didn't want any regrets.
Keep positive and enjoy all the days you are given with your dog. They gave my last golden 4 months max after his surgery. We got 9 months of good quality life. My sister's last dog with cancer-had bone cancer-they ended up amputating his leg (this wasn't the plan at all but things went in this direction). They gave him 4-6 months-he had another almost 2 years. You just never know. What you can do-is love him with all your heart.
When I lost my last best bud almost 3 years ago (has it been that long?)-despite still being a drinker-I managed to not drink with little effort. I knew how quickly things could change and go downhill for him (I'd already lost 2 to cancer). I never wanted to be in a position I couldn't help him because I couldn't drive, I couldnt' wake up, I couldn't think clearly. It would absolutely kill me if I ever thought he suffered because I drank too much. And I knew from prior experience-although the alcohol may "dull" the pain-it really sucks to be grieving and feeling like crap physically. And the alcohol didn't make it feel better, it just delayed some grief and made me feel guilty. And I wanted to enjoy and remember all our days together. I didn't want any regrets.
Keep positive and enjoy all the days you are given with your dog. They gave my last golden 4 months max after his surgery. We got 9 months of good quality life. My sister's last dog with cancer-had bone cancer-they ended up amputating his leg (this wasn't the plan at all but things went in this direction). They gave him 4-6 months-he had another almost 2 years. You just never know. What you can do-is love him with all your heart.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 141
I'm sorry to hear about your dog and I can relate. I had a cat that had bone cancer and since it is more rare in cats than dogs, most answers I got from docs were very ambiguous. I was not sober when this happened to my cat, and I'm pretty sure that made my emotions a lot worse than what they could have been if I would have been sober.
In regards to dealing with this as a first time sober, try to remember that you are going to have a lot of "firsts" now that you are sober - good and bad. The first year is a major hurdle trying to do everything with a different state of mind. You will get through this.
In regards to dealing with this as a first time sober, try to remember that you are going to have a lot of "firsts" now that you are sober - good and bad. The first year is a major hurdle trying to do everything with a different state of mind. You will get through this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 120
thanks to all of you for your support...i can't describe how much it touches me.
i'm going to use some of the advice on this thread, and really just enjoy all the time i have with my little girl.
guess that's 'one day at a time' in practice
life would be a lot more difficult for me if wasn't sober through this, and she certainly deserves sober me to walk through this with her.
thank you so much, everyone. i can't express that enough <3
i'm going to use some of the advice on this thread, and really just enjoy all the time i have with my little girl.
guess that's 'one day at a time' in practice
life would be a lot more difficult for me if wasn't sober through this, and she certainly deserves sober me to walk through this with her.
thank you so much, everyone. i can't express that enough <3
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