Options Forward?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 2
Options Forward?
Good afternoon - this is my first post so please be gentle if there are any missteps in protocol here.
I'm here to seek out some opinions on a path forward in mitigating issues I'm experiencing with narcotics addiction. The drug in question is extremely obscure and doesn't really merit specific mention, but it has left me with significant psychological addiction to drugs of its type of which nearly countless variants exist.
Some background here -I've been using narcotics, namely marijuana, recreationally for the last 12 years. In 2009, my most recent employer instituted drug testing for THC, making it impossible to continue to use feasibly. Having no desire to actually quit marijuana at the time, I sought out other options that afforded me similar psychotropic effects without the risk of popping a drug test. Fast forward 2.5 years and I'm now unemployed and have been so for about 6 months. Prior to losing my job I was facilitating a quickly worsening addiction to the class of narcotics in question. Soon after being laid off, I was able to stop use on my own w/o external assistance though the psychological cravings never waned from the moment I stopped. I did not use again for 3.5 months. A month after stopping the narcotic, I was back on other drugs including alcohol and marijuana in a crude attempt of recreating the effects of the drug. Recently, I broke down and purchased, similar albeit a slightly different version of the narcotic and have resumed my use of the original drug. At this writing, I'm currently 3 days sober due to having no supply remaining, but am becoming deeply concerned I'm about to enter a vicious cycle here very quickly since it's incredibly easy to secure the narcotics in question and having no friends, family, or social life to speak of, this substance has become quite literally the very reason I wake up in the morning.
Recent implications of my addiction have been striking even relative to previously observed consequences - while using, I did not leave my home for anything but drinks and cigarettes for 3 straight weeks. This most recent isolation in addition to a previous history of social retraction, my social network has collapsed - no one will communicate with me, worsening my already extreme depression and lonliness - this in itself puts me on a treadmill like nothing else.
So in summary, I am currently psychologically addicted to a specific class of narcotics which is exacerbated by the need to self medicate to mitigate severe depression - I have little to no social support network, no activities or hobbies to occupy time, nothing - just the 4 walls, a TV and a constant desire to use drugs to pass the time, alleviate boredom, and get at least a short break from internal ruminations of being a worthless failure and a pathetic excuse for a human being.
At present, no one I know is aware of my problem here and I think it might be best to keep it that way. I've looked at rehab type situations before (detox is not necessary). Given my lack of employment, I cannot afford these kinds of programs irregardless of their benefit. I also attempted to seek out help from a medical group in the area affiliated with a local hospital, but I never received approval to begin services - I assume I may not have fit in their program due to the obscure narcotic involved. What other options are available for someone in my situation? I'm an atheist, and as such the religious spin of the "Anonymous" programs would be a poor fit for me. What else can I do?
Thanks for your insight.
I'm here to seek out some opinions on a path forward in mitigating issues I'm experiencing with narcotics addiction. The drug in question is extremely obscure and doesn't really merit specific mention, but it has left me with significant psychological addiction to drugs of its type of which nearly countless variants exist.
Some background here -I've been using narcotics, namely marijuana, recreationally for the last 12 years. In 2009, my most recent employer instituted drug testing for THC, making it impossible to continue to use feasibly. Having no desire to actually quit marijuana at the time, I sought out other options that afforded me similar psychotropic effects without the risk of popping a drug test. Fast forward 2.5 years and I'm now unemployed and have been so for about 6 months. Prior to losing my job I was facilitating a quickly worsening addiction to the class of narcotics in question. Soon after being laid off, I was able to stop use on my own w/o external assistance though the psychological cravings never waned from the moment I stopped. I did not use again for 3.5 months. A month after stopping the narcotic, I was back on other drugs including alcohol and marijuana in a crude attempt of recreating the effects of the drug. Recently, I broke down and purchased, similar albeit a slightly different version of the narcotic and have resumed my use of the original drug. At this writing, I'm currently 3 days sober due to having no supply remaining, but am becoming deeply concerned I'm about to enter a vicious cycle here very quickly since it's incredibly easy to secure the narcotics in question and having no friends, family, or social life to speak of, this substance has become quite literally the very reason I wake up in the morning.
Recent implications of my addiction have been striking even relative to previously observed consequences - while using, I did not leave my home for anything but drinks and cigarettes for 3 straight weeks. This most recent isolation in addition to a previous history of social retraction, my social network has collapsed - no one will communicate with me, worsening my already extreme depression and lonliness - this in itself puts me on a treadmill like nothing else.
So in summary, I am currently psychologically addicted to a specific class of narcotics which is exacerbated by the need to self medicate to mitigate severe depression - I have little to no social support network, no activities or hobbies to occupy time, nothing - just the 4 walls, a TV and a constant desire to use drugs to pass the time, alleviate boredom, and get at least a short break from internal ruminations of being a worthless failure and a pathetic excuse for a human being.
At present, no one I know is aware of my problem here and I think it might be best to keep it that way. I've looked at rehab type situations before (detox is not necessary). Given my lack of employment, I cannot afford these kinds of programs irregardless of their benefit. I also attempted to seek out help from a medical group in the area affiliated with a local hospital, but I never received approval to begin services - I assume I may not have fit in their program due to the obscure narcotic involved. What other options are available for someone in my situation? I'm an atheist, and as such the religious spin of the "Anonymous" programs would be a poor fit for me. What else can I do?
Thanks for your insight.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
First off, I have to say that an addict is an addict, regardless of the drug. An alcoholic is an alcoholic regardless of the chosen booze. So I'm not sure I'd focus on the obscurity of this drug.
It doesn't hurt to check back with the medical group you contacted. Let them know you're still anxious for help. If you don't fit their program, ask for other resources.
There are many, many atheists and agnostics in Anonymous programs so perhaps you could reconsider that option, at least until you've had time to research others. And I have to be honest with you, some help is better than no help when you're as down as you are. We're all there or have been there.
It doesn't hurt to check back with the medical group you contacted. Let them know you're still anxious for help. If you don't fit their program, ask for other resources.
There are many, many atheists and agnostics in Anonymous programs so perhaps you could reconsider that option, at least until you've had time to research others. And I have to be honest with you, some help is better than no help when you're as down as you are. We're all there or have been there.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR NJNate 
Have a look at Rational Recovery: The new cure for substance addiction by Jack Trimpey. This is the AVRT thing which gets mentioned around here alot. I don't think it really matters what the drug is. For NA either I'd suspect.
It might be worth working on that support network too though. Have you spoken to anyone about this? x
Have a look at Rational Recovery: The new cure for substance addiction by Jack Trimpey. This is the AVRT thing which gets mentioned around here alot. I don't think it really matters what the drug is. For NA either I'd suspect.
It might be worth working on that support network too though. Have you spoken to anyone about this? x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome Nate
SR will be a great help to you as it was to me - there's lots of support here.
My main drug was alcohol - freely available and legal...I found the community here instrumental in helping me turn my life around
Like others have mentioned there are non 12 step recovery programmes like SMART and Rational Recovery
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach and want to look into those options a little more
D
SR will be a great help to you as it was to me - there's lots of support here.
My main drug was alcohol - freely available and legal...I found the community here instrumental in helping me turn my life around
Like others have mentioned there are non 12 step recovery programmes like SMART and Rational Recovery
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach and want to look into those options a little more
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Nate! I think you'll find it comforting & helpful to be here. We all understand what you've gone through. SR helped me get sober and stay that way - it was such a relief to not feel alone anymore. Glad you found us, & please keep posting.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
I'm an atheist, and as such the religious spin of the "Anonymous" programs would be a poor fit for me. What else can I do?
There are SR members here that focus on living an alcohol free life with SR and whatever else that helpful to stay sober. I recommend you to use SR as your recovery program; post, offering and receive encouragement, be informed, be supported. All of that will up your chances of getting and staying sober. Big bonus to, no religious/spiritual conversions necessary here at SR to be recovered
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