"Its not funny or clever" I remember they words!
 

29 days of crying in the shower so no one can see me
29 days of feeling lost
29 days of constant thinking and pain
29 days of real emotion, 29 days of hope, 29 days of caring, 29 days without lies, 29 days of helping, 29 days of honesty, 29 days closer to becoming human again.

I hope to god or whichever higher power there is that all you people within this site are touched with hope. I sometimes don't think its there but it comes even for 10 mins but in that 10 mins I am free and I know as time moves forward restrictions will pass. I choose to disregard every person that loved me and there was a few cause I knew best! I am not angry but grateful.

The all-consuming glaze blankets the eyes
Lost
Thoughts control this world
The devious contamination penetrates
Subtle yet beautifully done
Uneasy, now anticipation
The world sees and chooses to look through as fear whispers to them
Make your excuses
Soon you will awaken
Then what
Fear is now within you
Where, when, how and why
Turmoil of Lies, anger, self-loathing, pain, and resentment your soul has been taken
This destruction, cycle or pattern
Long may it continue, our choice our rules
Why care because we all do, we can disguise this for now although inevitability will surface
My pattern has grown strong I am now a hurricane ready to destroy
Why, “because I can”
They words reassure me
The healing power of chemicals
Realisation
Underneath I am broken and hurting
I pray for strength, I get it, it dissolves constant battle
This is my perception as I now look in from a distance
I am now in control of my thoughts
What a tight rope to walk
“Pain is for the weak”
I beg to differ
Pain is because I care
Internal battle that needs to be won
Peace will set us free