Taking Baby Steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Taking Baby Steps
My first step towards getting sober was to come back here again.
I have felt almost paralyzed about moving things along. Depression plays a big role, plus I am feeling so alone in all of this.
I have spent countless hours looking at rehab centers and therapists, only to get more depressed. We have very limited rehab centers in our area and with the vast majority, most of their clients are court ordered. Even my insurance company is surprised by the lack of services here.
Yesterday I did order 5 books from Amazon based on recommendations here and elsewhere. Positive step!
Today I called a psychiatrist and have an appointment for tomorrow. Another positive step! I have a few tabs of Naltrexone left over from my last stab at sobriety (September) so I have taken some today. Because I did not have any cravings, I decided to stop taking them. This time I won't make the same mistake...death and serious illness in the family were my triggers.
I'm very nervous about finding a new counselor. Looking through my insurer isn't much help and the counselor the physchiatrist recommended as the best was not a fit for me. He was too eclectic and had some ideas that were way out there...like the patient who was beyond treatment for cancer who he helped to visualize away his cancer completely! I stopped seeing him when my work schedule got too busy and my life was a mess with my mother's death and ex's cancer and then never went back as I was drinking again and depressed.
So small steps, but it is a beginning nevertheless. Hopefully I should be able to end my taper this weekend and stop drinking. And by then, maybe my books will have come in the mail:
Beyond the Influence
Rational Recovery
Drinking: A Love Story
Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Breaking the Cycle and Finding Hope
I have felt almost paralyzed about moving things along. Depression plays a big role, plus I am feeling so alone in all of this.
I have spent countless hours looking at rehab centers and therapists, only to get more depressed. We have very limited rehab centers in our area and with the vast majority, most of their clients are court ordered. Even my insurance company is surprised by the lack of services here.
Yesterday I did order 5 books from Amazon based on recommendations here and elsewhere. Positive step!
Today I called a psychiatrist and have an appointment for tomorrow. Another positive step! I have a few tabs of Naltrexone left over from my last stab at sobriety (September) so I have taken some today. Because I did not have any cravings, I decided to stop taking them. This time I won't make the same mistake...death and serious illness in the family were my triggers.
I'm very nervous about finding a new counselor. Looking through my insurer isn't much help and the counselor the physchiatrist recommended as the best was not a fit for me. He was too eclectic and had some ideas that were way out there...like the patient who was beyond treatment for cancer who he helped to visualize away his cancer completely! I stopped seeing him when my work schedule got too busy and my life was a mess with my mother's death and ex's cancer and then never went back as I was drinking again and depressed.
So small steps, but it is a beginning nevertheless. Hopefully I should be able to end my taper this weekend and stop drinking. And by then, maybe my books will have come in the mail:
Beyond the Influence
Rational Recovery
Drinking: A Love Story
Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Breaking the Cycle and Finding Hope
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hi SlimSlim ,
I've had depression and i know how difficult it was for me, i was told to quit drinking back then and couldn't do it .
Sounds like you've got a plan to help you along, i hope you stick to it . Looking back i only realize now, 11 months after quitting how depressive alcohol is .
Bestwishes, M
I've had depression and i know how difficult it was for me, i was told to quit drinking back then and couldn't do it .
Sounds like you've got a plan to help you along, i hope you stick to it . Looking back i only realize now, 11 months after quitting how depressive alcohol is .
Bestwishes, M
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Good for you for taking action, and it sounds like you've chosen great books to read.
The depression may clear up when you stop drinking, because alcohol is a depressant. If the depression was evident before you began drinking, then maybe at some point, talking to your dr would be a good idea.
The depression may clear up when you stop drinking, because alcohol is a depressant. If the depression was evident before you began drinking, then maybe at some point, talking to your dr would be a good idea.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
I can't say I really suffered from depression, I'm just used to being often sad or having mood swings, but I know one thing for sure after 2 weeks sober: alcohol is a huge depressant.
Ordering those books is a great idea, something I want to do too some day.
I hope you'll hang around here and keep posting, we can really help each other! Take good care of yourself.
Ordering those books is a great idea, something I want to do too some day.
I hope you'll hang around here and keep posting, we can really help each other! Take good care of yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Thanks for the words of encouragement...I do need all the support I can get right now and I'm very afraid of not having it.
One thing that I did pick up on hints to others is to begin keeping a journal, which is something I will do. It will not only be therapeutic, it will also be something that I can look back upon for reflection on my progress.
Depression runs in my family. Years of drinking only adds to the depression, given what it does to the mind. Put major stressful events into the mix, and yup, I have a major case of depression right now.
Again, thanks for your support!
One thing that I did pick up on hints to others is to begin keeping a journal, which is something I will do. It will not only be therapeutic, it will also be something that I can look back upon for reflection on my progress.
Depression runs in my family. Years of drinking only adds to the depression, given what it does to the mind. Put major stressful events into the mix, and yup, I have a major case of depression right now.
Again, thanks for your support!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 95
Assuming AA is not an option, or that you've already tried it. I've seen people use the 12 steps as a very effective counseling tool without going to meetings - either using a counselor or not. The process is tailored to alcoholics and is designed to get to the root of the problem, not to practice abstinence. The steps are powerful, but I know that meetings aren't for everyone. Whatever route you take this time, it seems SO hard for people to get sober alone - maybe this board will suffice or at least be a start for you. You can do this, and you'll discover yourself again - that's the gift we get - to be comfortable in our own skin again. When that happens, the world opens up.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I'm a great believer in baby steps Slimslim. Just do something positive everyday, no matter how small it may seem. Taking care of ourselves takes practice.
PM me anytime if you need someone to chat to, I'm pretty much on here everyday.
I hope you find some help locally x
PM me anytime if you need someone to chat to, I'm pretty much on here everyday.
I hope you find some help locally x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Add another baby step, well no bigger than a baby step to the list.
Family got together last night to celebrate an 80th birthday in the family. I took advantage of everyone being together to let them know of my doctor's appointment today and asked for their support working through this, as I will need it.
The response was overwhelmingly positive.
Family got together last night to celebrate an 80th birthday in the family. I took advantage of everyone being together to let them know of my doctor's appointment today and asked for their support working through this, as I will need it.
The response was overwhelmingly positive.
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