Please, AAs, Stop Pretending it's Simple...
 

...That it's merely a matter of putting the plug in the jug, or to stop one's stinkin thinkin. Or going to meetings, and joining a home group and being of service and getting a sponsor and freaking praying and repeating slogans.

I know this might be of comfort to you, but it isn't to me. I have been doing all of these for eleven months (includding two 90 in nineties), to no avail. I have not discovered a higher power. The miracle hasn't happened.

It's not that simple. Were that the case, I doubt so many of us would relapse again and again and again and again. Yes, I "want what you have". I would love what you have.

Oh, yes, I know...I'm being resentful and angry. And both of these flaws will compel me to drink again. But then again, it's not my fault. It is my fault. It's a disease, and I am blameless. Or absolutely to blame. And full of remorse and regret. But never full of remorse or regret. On the other hand, I am selfish to the extreme, and am to blame. I should forget yesterday, and never focus on tomorrow, but I should always "remember when". I have to hit bottom. I don't have to hit bottom, because AA "raised the bottom". It isn't a religious program. It is. For some reason we have to say the Lord's Prayer, no matter what our own religious views or lack thereof might be.

Even if you didn't drink to begin with, this kind of doublespeak, contradictory, dumbed-down nonsense would tempt you, IMO.

hi spencerhead
nice vent :)

I'm not in AA but recovery *is* actually pretty simple...don't drink. be happy.
Simple..but noone ever said it was easy :)

If AA's not your thing try something else - there's a lot of approaches here.

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

You'll find a lot of support here whatever you choose.

Keep in mind tho - we aim for mutual respect here.
We're all on the same team, y'know?

D

Hi spencerhead,
That was a great vent! That made me feel better! You are amazing for doing 2-90 in 90. But I think Dee77 is right, you just need something other than AA. But don't give up! It's obvious you want sobriety, you just need a path that suits you. Good luck!

Hey SpencerHead

I think perhaps we each have to find our own "AA". If the spiritural side is not speaking to you at this time then perhaps try one of the other methods like SMART or AVRT.

as stated above, a nice vent. we all need them from time to time. i attend AA as needed and believe the program works for many. not all of course. i think most AAers recognize that the program isn't for everyone. it would be nice if you would not lump all AAers into one group as well. find something that works for you and stick with it. whatever works for you, it probably isn't easy. sobriety isn't easy period. it is simple, as Dee said. just don't drink. i haven't found AA to be a religious program so much as a spiritual one. yes we say the Lord's Prayer and as an agnostic it doesn't bother me because i see it more as a symbolic strengthening of our bond of fellowship than as an actual prayer but that's me personally. i was in another group that didn't say it and closed with this: "I Am Responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of recovery always to be there. And for that: I am responsible." i would prefer to end meetings with that but i understand why the Lords Prayer is used and if that's part of what goes, i'm willing to bend a little for the fellowship i get. i just direct the LP to my HP.

i hope your anger with the program doesn't let it taint the way you feel about individuals who believe in it. we're not all mindless drones marching lockstep to Bill W's book. we're caring individuals struggling with the same disease you're struggling with and we have emotions, intelligence, free will and feelings too.

Well I hope you feel a bit better after that. :) Good vents need to be done.

I dont know who in the program ever really said it was easy to you, but we all know its not. Or it wouldnt be the number on priority in my life at least. I dont put anything or anyone before my sobriety.

You can keep going with all that anger or try a different program. Whatever will work for you is the way to go. I am curious though in your eleven months what does your sponsor say to all this, and how deep are you working your steps. Are you applying them to your daily living.

I hope you find your way and your peace. I was not religious when I came into AA 13 months ago, and I still am not religious. So when I say any prayer with "god" its simply my higher power, and no else has it. Its all mine. And be selfish that I am over my sobriety.

Best wishes to you.

Yeah brother, well I think you are too smart for the program LOL. I found a SMART recovery group I plan to attend. Forget the AA doublespeak. You are going to be okay. Like Tony Soprano's little note card on his hospital bulletin board says, " We all go about in pity for ourselves when all along, a great wind is blowing us across the sky"....<3

We are all finding our way through a difficult journey.
The way I look at it, it doesn't matter which path you take, the end goal is the same for all of us. We all want to be sober and happy.What we should do though is cheer each other on, whichever path we take.
We are struggling alkies, very vulnerable and overly sensitive at times.
Let's pull together, not criticise.
We are all capable of getting there.
Good luck to everyone, there is such a strength in unity x

Awwww. I don't buy into that. We are all children of a very powerful force and we have the balls to step up to the plate.

It was my relationship with alcohol that was the issue. I couldn't find a way to deal with what I experienced when I didn't drink. Coming off it left me raw and scared, it was awful.

Spencerhead, Im 2 years sober, atten AA on a regular basis and there "ain't" nothing "simple about it. On the bright side I have 1 less problem in my life. :egypt:

Jeni, you make good points. Not sure what's Stairs is getting at...maybe a better explanation is in order for me, just got off a 13 hour shift.

Just don't drink is not AA, and for me it's not recovery either.

Welcome to SR spencerhead.

Keep that attitude Jeni . We stay sober. :grouphug::You_Rock_

Sometimes I think I'm too subtle.

Please remember

This applies to everyone.

Thanks

D

Put the plug in the jug, just don't drink and go to meetings, and whatever you do don't pick up the first drink! If I could simply do those things on my own power, I wouldn't be an alcoholic, and I certainly wouldn't need AA. AA is for those drinkers that cannot do these things successfully, or happily, on their own power.

It actually is a simple program of clear-cut directions laid out in the first 164 pages (plus the Doctor's Opinion in the preface) of a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12 steps are a proven formula for getting us cleared of the things that would take us back to a drink, showing us a new way to live and rocketing us to Power great enough to solve all our problems.

It works, it really does.

So what wouldn't I do for a gift that big?

I can understand your frustrations. When I came into the rooms, it took a lot of patience, faith and footwork to find the alcoholics in the rooms that actually knew what they were talking about. As a newcomer, I was confused, desperate and couldn't tell the difference. I started asking a lot of questions and followed my intuition forward. I find that Big Book study meetings and Primary Purpose AA meetings consistently have them. The group of miracle makers called "Big Book thumpers" helped to save and transform my life. If you want to get well and recover for good and all, I highly suggest finding a qualified sponsor with a sparkle in their eye who can guide you straight into the solution. Meetings are great and I go to a lot of them, but they are not nearly enough for me because what I really need as the foundation in my life is the steps.

We Agnostics in the Big Book helped revolutionize my understanding of what a Higher Power means to me. It really is a spiritual, not religious, program.

Simple, not always easy, but absolutely worth it. I am rooting you on all the way.

If a slogan conflicts with the Big Book, I don't use it. The AA program is, simply, in the Big Book.

If you're looking to see how some of these line up, or don't, this link might help. Be forewarned that it might arm you with information that could get you fired up. There are plenty of sponsors that know the difference, I sincerely suggest you find one.

Don't let anyone read your Big Book for you.

Link: That Ain't In The Big Book!

That Ain't in the Big Book!

Well, waiting was not something that I was very good at; in fact, I was rather impatient. I can remember growing up as a child and being all excited because Christmas or my birthday was just around the corner. I knew that with these special days I would receive gifts. I was so anxious for the time to arrive that I couldn’t wait. I was impatient. Between my impatience and anxiety, I would become irritable and often times would pick a fight with my brothers. In early recovery I was not much different. I continued to want what I wanted, and I wanted it now. I look at things differently now. I have faith in me, my fellows, and my Higher Power. :)

You have not discovered a higher power? So you are having difficulty acknowledging and believing that there are things you have no control over?

Nowhere in the AA big book does it say the Lords Prayer, if you went to a meeting where they said that, then find a different meeting. Hell, tell central office about it.

It does say in the book many times a God of YOUR understanding, don't over think it. Over thinking and analyzing everything is one of the things drove me to drink and use.