SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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-   -   Never ending cycle (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/263984-never-ending-cycle.html)

Marjoram 07-30-2012 08:21 PM

Never ending cycle
 
I've been here before, and as of right now, don't want to say under what name.

I do agree that some can return to drinking in moderation, but most of us here cannot. I am one of those.

My husband drinks and so do I. We are good people that do a lot to help others - friends, family, and civic obligations. We appreciate the simple things in life and love our time in the outdoors. But, for some reason, in our day to day life, we cannot keep the drinking under control. He has a harder time admitting to the problem, but I'm ready to AGAIN. If my Mom knew how much I drank, it would break her heart.

I'm in my 40's and have been drinking pretty darn hard for over ten years. The last five more than I care to admit.

My fear is my health. It always has been. I love to cook and cook healthy. I love to walk, work hard, and play hard. So, why I continue to let this rotten monster take me over is beyond me. I can make it until about the same time every day, and then it overwhelms me. I cringe at my next doctor's appointment.

I'm debating AA, but still not sold on it. I guess I'll know when that option is one I have to take.

I've gone through hiding bottles, hiding my drinking, hiding it all. I did it before and I'm doing it again. Changing stores to buy from, wrapping bottles in paper before tossing in the trash. Breath mints to hide the smell, etc.

It is truly a day at a time and I hope tomorrow I can make it through day one.

I just need to reach out again.

Well wishes to every one here. It's a good group.

Life is a gift. Let's not screw it up with alcohol.

Dee74 07-30-2012 08:37 PM

welcome back Majoram :)

I recommend getting involved in the current monthly group here - it's a great way to get involved in recovery...and stay that way :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-4.html

D

DisplacedGRITS 07-30-2012 08:43 PM

hey Marjoram. welcome back. don't make a big deal about debating over AA and whatnot. just go for a few days with an open mind and heart, try out a few different meetings and let it help you or not. AA isn't there to sell itself on you. it's just there to help people like you get sober and stay sober.

ReadyAndAble 07-30-2012 09:42 PM

Hi, Marjoram. Welcome back. :)

AA, SMART, LifeRing—there are a lot of options, many of them listed right here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html I'm a fan of Rational Recovery and AVRT—and there's some good info on it right here, in the Secular Connections part of the site—but that's just me. I went to a couple AA meetings early in recovery, and found the people there really welcoming, and inspiring in many ways. SR has been a key source of insight and support for me from the very beginning.

Whatever you do, just give it your all, and I have no doubt you will find yourself walking free again. You can totally do this, and you'll be super glad you did. :)

IndaMiricale 07-30-2012 09:48 PM

Welcome aboard :)

I glad your not sold on AA cause its not for sale. Its free. There are no due or fees, all you need is the desire to quit drinking. ;)

Seriously I dont know anyone that drinks to excess like we do, that ever can moderate. It just doesnt happen. Maybe for brief period, but it always will get worse again.

Glad your here keep posting and reading. :)


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