Seeking anothers opinion...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1
Seeking anothers opinion...
I just want to start off by saying that this is really difficult for me, but I am at my breaking point, and feel like I am out of options and answers...
I don't know if I have a drinking "problem" (honestly, I don't). I can go out and just have 1 or 2, but for a while now, I haven't wanted to that (versus not been ABLE to do that)... I've been actually wanting to get very drunk. What is becoming more clear to me the last couple days (particularly after this weekend) is that when I drink, and I am a small girl who has been putting away 9-10 beers everytime I go out and get sick almost every time as well, and then proceeding to drink more because I think I "feel better," I do not at all like the way the behave. I behave in ways that always make feel very bad about myself the next day, and lately I am struggling to even recognize myself. It's almost like I use alcohol to give myself permission to just become completely out of control and dishonor myself... while all this sounds awful, which I am realizing as I'm typing it, I am unsure as to if I have a 'drinking problem' or if I just have some other stuff going on that I need to work through and I've been choosing to silence it with alcohol... and either way, is that what a problem with alcohol is???
I don't know. I'm very confused and just don't want to feel like this anymore. All I know is that for the past year I have been drinking like a fish, while at the same time feeling horrible about myself and my life. Not sure if it's a chicken-egg thing or what, but either way I just want to feel like myself again. If anybody has any advice or could help with a little insight, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
I don't know if I have a drinking "problem" (honestly, I don't). I can go out and just have 1 or 2, but for a while now, I haven't wanted to that (versus not been ABLE to do that)... I've been actually wanting to get very drunk. What is becoming more clear to me the last couple days (particularly after this weekend) is that when I drink, and I am a small girl who has been putting away 9-10 beers everytime I go out and get sick almost every time as well, and then proceeding to drink more because I think I "feel better," I do not at all like the way the behave. I behave in ways that always make feel very bad about myself the next day, and lately I am struggling to even recognize myself. It's almost like I use alcohol to give myself permission to just become completely out of control and dishonor myself... while all this sounds awful, which I am realizing as I'm typing it, I am unsure as to if I have a 'drinking problem' or if I just have some other stuff going on that I need to work through and I've been choosing to silence it with alcohol... and either way, is that what a problem with alcohol is???
I don't know. I'm very confused and just don't want to feel like this anymore. All I know is that for the past year I have been drinking like a fish, while at the same time feeling horrible about myself and my life. Not sure if it's a chicken-egg thing or what, but either way I just want to feel like myself again. If anybody has any advice or could help with a little insight, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Durga
My storys much like yours except I'm a guy
I wondered too whether I was an alcoholic or whether I had other stuff going on.
Truthfully it was probbaly a little from both columns.
What I do know is if you're drinking and can't stop, if you're falling over, being sick, embarrassing yourself, or otherwise putting yourself in danger...the root cause becomes immaterial, I think.
A problem is a problem - & any of us in that situation needs to change the behaviour.
I found a lot of support here to help me do that - I know you will too
Welcome aboard
D
My storys much like yours except I'm a guy
I wondered too whether I was an alcoholic or whether I had other stuff going on.
Truthfully it was probbaly a little from both columns.
What I do know is if you're drinking and can't stop, if you're falling over, being sick, embarrassing yourself, or otherwise putting yourself in danger...the root cause becomes immaterial, I think.
A problem is a problem - & any of us in that situation needs to change the behaviour.
I found a lot of support here to help me do that - I know you will too
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Durga
I know I definitely had other stuff going on... for years I wondered if I sorted that other stuff out would I stop drinking so much?
I did nothing and carried on drinking until things got really bad and I desperately needed to sort my other stuff out so I could stop drinking so much.
At no point did I consider quitting drinking as an option.
Any other stuff I had going on definitely became secondary to my drinking problem in the end. And it turned out that drinking definitely caused some of my other stuff (anxiety etc) and exacerbated others (depression). Quitting drinking has definitely been the best thing I have ever done.
And the good news is that you don't have to have a drinking problem to quit drinking It is free to everyone. If you are having problems drinking, stop for a bit to see how you feel. It could be that it is making things worse for you too.
Glad you're here x
I know I definitely had other stuff going on... for years I wondered if I sorted that other stuff out would I stop drinking so much?
I did nothing and carried on drinking until things got really bad and I desperately needed to sort my other stuff out so I could stop drinking so much.
At no point did I consider quitting drinking as an option.
Any other stuff I had going on definitely became secondary to my drinking problem in the end. And it turned out that drinking definitely caused some of my other stuff (anxiety etc) and exacerbated others (depression). Quitting drinking has definitely been the best thing I have ever done.
And the good news is that you don't have to have a drinking problem to quit drinking
It is free to everyone. If you are having problems drinking, stop for a bit to see how you feel. It could be that it is making things worse for you too.Glad you're here x
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Good morning Durga,
I definitely got the chicken-egg-fish thing going on, like you. Sounds like breakfast, only in this context it's a pretty unappealing menu.
When I was feeling really desperately low a few weeks ago, someone said, "Well, yeah. Alcohol is a depressant." I had forgotten. Or not considered. In any event, that hit home for me and I have been trying in earnest since then to get myself dried out. So far I've got four days one week and five the next. For me, that's an accomplishment.
There's no need whatsoever for you to label what it is that troubles you. Hang out with us for awhile, give not drinking a try, and see where it leads.
I definitely got the chicken-egg-fish thing going on, like you. Sounds like breakfast, only in this context it's a pretty unappealing menu.
When I was feeling really desperately low a few weeks ago, someone said, "Well, yeah. Alcohol is a depressant." I had forgotten. Or not considered. In any event, that hit home for me and I have been trying in earnest since then to get myself dried out. So far I've got four days one week and five the next. For me, that's an accomplishment.
There's no need whatsoever for you to label what it is that troubles you. Hang out with us for awhile, give not drinking a try, and see where it leads.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Welcome to SR!
Glad you are here!
Read a bit on here. See if you can relate to anything.
If things are going on with you, is counseling an option? Not alcohol counseling, just plain counseling? Something to work out the problems you have so they don't get out of control? Just some thoughts.
Hugs,
Glad you are here!
Read a bit on here. See if you can relate to anything.
If things are going on with you, is counseling an option? Not alcohol counseling, just plain counseling? Something to work out the problems you have so they don't get out of control? Just some thoughts.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Coventry West Midlands
Posts: 56
If you are drinking enough to make yourself sick, and then drinking more that is definitely too much and its a problem.
Regularly drinking 9 or 10 beers for a female will become a problem. I still waiting to hear how much damage I've done drinking 5 to 6 beers during the week and 10 beers at the weekend. I had been drinking heavily like that for about 30 years though.
Please remember the amount of alcohol needed to cause damage for a female is much less than a male.
Cov.
Regularly drinking 9 or 10 beers for a female will become a problem. I still waiting to hear how much damage I've done drinking 5 to 6 beers during the week and 10 beers at the weekend. I had been drinking heavily like that for about 30 years though.
Please remember the amount of alcohol needed to cause damage for a female is much less than a male.
Cov.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
drinking is but a symptom of a much deeper problem.
"while all this sounds awful, which I am realizing as I'm typing it, I am unsure as to if I have a 'drinking problem' or if I just have some other stuff going on that I need to work through and I've been choosing to silence it with alcohol... and either way, is that what a problem with alcohol is???"
if you feel you have something goin on, please run with that and find a solution.
IMO, using alcohol to block out underlying problems is a problem and could lead to worse problems for many years if a solution isnt found now.
prayers yer way.
"while all this sounds awful, which I am realizing as I'm typing it, I am unsure as to if I have a 'drinking problem' or if I just have some other stuff going on that I need to work through and I've been choosing to silence it with alcohol... and either way, is that what a problem with alcohol is???"
if you feel you have something goin on, please run with that and find a solution.
IMO, using alcohol to block out underlying problems is a problem and could lead to worse problems for many years if a solution isnt found now.
prayers yer way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,410
It certainly can't hurt to stop drinking, right? Give yourself time to sort out all the other problems you might currently have going on in your life. And if you find that you are having trouble stopping drinking, you've certainly found the right place!!
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I'm fairly convinced that early on, it's best not to get too wrapped up in "why" we drink destructively. In a way, it's like trying to figure out how a fire got started while the house is burning down. It's usually best to put out the fire first and ask questions later.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
This is a quote from the Big Book of AA. I find it the easiest way to help determine if someone is an alcoholic. Ask yourself "can I quit entirely if I honestly wanted to?" and "When I drink can I control how much I am taking every time?" If you answer no to one or both of these, chances are you are an alcoholic.
Good luck. I hope you find the answers you need.
This is a quote from the Big Book of AA. I find it the easiest way to help determine if someone is an alcoholic. Ask yourself "can I quit entirely if I honestly wanted to?" and "When I drink can I control how much I am taking every time?" If you answer no to one or both of these, chances are you are an alcoholic.
Good luck. I hope you find the answers you need.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Home - there's no place like Home
Posts: 974
Sobriety=shamelessness. I applaud you for recognizing so early on how destructive life is in alcohell. You will find lots of help and support here at SR - we're happy to have you with us.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Whatever is going on, alcohol will not help the situation. Sounds to me like you are concerned about your drinking. You don't need any other reason to stop. I bet your life will be so much better, mine is!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Drinking is the symptom. The same thing happened to me. The issues that caused the drinking will still need to be dealt with. And, for me, the drinking also became a huge problem in itself because I believed I could stop, but I couldn't.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking and begin to work on the issues in your life.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking and begin to work on the issues in your life.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Welcome Durga! I'd say you already know you have a drinking problem, you're here and didn't find this place by accident.
I agree with others that said to try to stop drinking first. It's hard to deal with everything at once, but I know you'll feel less desperate sober. You'll feel more able to cope sober. You'll feel physically better and feel more like yourself again.
I only have 2 weeks booze free but it has already made a huge difference in how I feel.
Chicken-egg-fish thing lol OB
I agree with others that said to try to stop drinking first. It's hard to deal with everything at once, but I know you'll feel less desperate sober. You'll feel more able to cope sober. You'll feel physically better and feel more like yourself again.
I only have 2 weeks booze free but it has already made a huge difference in how I feel.
Chicken-egg-fish thing lol OB
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by Durga
I can go out and just have 1 or 2, but for a while now, I haven't wanted to that (versus not been ABLE to do that)... I've been actually wanting to get very drunk.
Alcoholism is just another word for addiction to alcohol, and losing control of how much you drink is just one symptom of it. It was an incident of losing control over my consumption which prompted me to re-examine my drinking habits, but what convinced me I have a problem was realizing I needed, maybe just one or two, but at least a beer every now and then to enjoy life.
Originally Posted by Durga
I do not at all like the way the behave. I behave in ways that always make feel very bad about myself the next day, and lately I am struggling to even recognize myself. It's almost like I use alcohol to give myself permission to just become completely out of control and dishonor myself...
I know the feeling that you don't recognize yourself anymore, I really know the feeling, and it's a terrible feeling. It's logical really, if you drink to act less like yourself, it's probable you won't recognize yourself in how you acted and won't like what you did while drunk.
It's definitely a good sign you need to re-evaluate your alcohol consumption. I wish you the best of luck!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Whenever I eat lettuce I get sick. Very sick,
very quickly. Is it an allergy? I don't know. I don't get hives, I don't get itchy eyes or swell up.
I could spend a lot of time trying to determine exactly what it is that is going on, and get several tests and dr's opinions. I could try to moderate my lettuce eating, and try arugula (did, I still get sick), organic (doesn't help), endive, romaine, baby greens (tried them all, still end up running to the bathroom). Or I could realize that lettuce is going to make me ill, and stop eating it. (that's what I've settled on)
I still have spinach, brocolli, cabbage, turnip greens, kale, and collards that I can enjoy.
Many many times I can't enjoy the salad bar to my liking because they only have mixed greens as a starter.
We had a salad bar luncheon at our employee appreciate even last month.
But I have found it worth my while to just no eat lettuce again, ever. It's not worth it.
I have found out the same is true for me when it comes to booze, drugs, and one night stands. My life is better when I just say no.
very quickly. Is it an allergy? I don't know. I don't get hives, I don't get itchy eyes or swell up.
I could spend a lot of time trying to determine exactly what it is that is going on, and get several tests and dr's opinions. I could try to moderate my lettuce eating, and try arugula (did, I still get sick), organic (doesn't help), endive, romaine, baby greens (tried them all, still end up running to the bathroom). Or I could realize that lettuce is going to make me ill, and stop eating it. (that's what I've settled on)
I still have spinach, brocolli, cabbage, turnip greens, kale, and collards that I can enjoy.
Many many times I can't enjoy the salad bar to my liking because they only have mixed greens as a starter.
We had a salad bar luncheon at our employee appreciate even last month.
But I have found it worth my while to just no eat lettuce again, ever. It's not worth it.
I have found out the same is true for me when it comes to booze, drugs, and one night stands. My life is better when I just say no.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Coventry West Midlands
Posts: 56
This just shows you do not need to be an alcoholic to have alcohol problems.
"This is a quote from the Big Book of AA. I find it the easiest way to help determine if someone is an alcoholic. Ask yourself "can I quit entirely if I honestly wanted to?" and "When I drink can I control how much I am taking every time?" If you answer no to one or both of these, chances are you are an alcoholic."
Before I stopped I could honestly answer yes to both these questions. After tonight it will be 6 weeks since I have drunk any alcohol. I just stopped.
I'm a heavy drinker maybe not an alcoholic, and I still have problems. Regular heavy drinking even if you can control it still causes problems, some of them big ones.
Cov.
"This is a quote from the Big Book of AA. I find it the easiest way to help determine if someone is an alcoholic. Ask yourself "can I quit entirely if I honestly wanted to?" and "When I drink can I control how much I am taking every time?" If you answer no to one or both of these, chances are you are an alcoholic."
Before I stopped I could honestly answer yes to both these questions. After tonight it will be 6 weeks since I have drunk any alcohol. I just stopped.
I'm a heavy drinker maybe not an alcoholic, and I still have problems. Regular heavy drinking even if you can control it still causes problems, some of them big ones.
Cov.
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